Reality | Teen Ink


December 9, 2007
By Anonymous

She was standing in the middle of absolutely nothing. All around her she saw white – vast, white nothingness. Instinctual fear enveloped her and she was terrified to move. She stood motionless for what seemed like forever, frantic thoughts racing through her mind. It was what was not there that scared her. Where was she? Was she in a place at all? She began to sweat.
If it is possible for me to be standing on a patch of nothing, what will happen if I move?
She quickly came to the apparent conclusion that anything was possible. It was a phrase she had heard before, but in much different context. The sweat from her forehead slid down her temples. Her body was still earthly, even if she was not on earth. She wondered how long she had been there, and then she wondered if time even existed. She thought about food and realized she wasn’t hungry. Nor was she thirsty. She tried to muster up some explanation for her current situation, but any sensible reasoning was impossible and she knew it.
What I really need is a rationalization, if for no other reason than to hold onto my sanity. I’ll need my sanity to get through this.
She was unable to invent, even with her most clever manipulation of reasoning skills, a rationalization that comforted her enough to bring back her confidence in her own sanity. So she rationalized from a different approach. The droplets of moisture rolled together into beads of sweat.
Maybe my sanity won’t help me in this place. In fact, I might be better off without it. Maybe sanity doesn’t exist here. I might do better in this world if my mind is unbound by what I consider sanity, just as this place is unbound by what I consider limits. After all, isn’t sanity created by limits? If limits do not exist here, I’m led to believe sanity is nonexistent as well.
Thoughts and questions continued to race through her mind while her body moved not a flinch. She had never felt such terror before, and she had no idea why or of what she was scared. The beads of sweat rolled down her chin. She would not wipe them off, she would not move.
I must adapt to my surroundings. I must open my mind to all possibilities. Remember, there are no limits here. Anything is possible.
But really she had no idea what to do. How does one think without limits? Aren’t there limits even to the act of thinking? The girl looked down in concentration and saw herself – her body. It was then that she panicked. She had no hope of surviving in this infinite place because her body was finite. Even if she could adapt mentally here, she was limited physically. The beads of sweat dripping down her face reminded her of her vulnerability. She felt faint. Vertigo caused her to unwillingly shift her weight and she felt dampness squish between her toes. She looked down and saw a small puddle of sweat at her feet. Scared and weak she slipped on nothing and felt such fear as she had never felt before.

Her eyes snapped open. It had felt so real.
How can something feel so real when it never happened? If that wasn’t real how can I be sure any of this is real.
She composed herself, closed her eyes and focused on breathing. When she had regained her strength she turned and stepped onto the floor that didn’t exist.

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