I starred at the women in front of me sitting behind a large wooden desk in disbelief. She was wearing a black professional skirt and blouse and her wheat colored blonde hair was perfectly pinned back with a fancy glittering clip in a messy bun. I thought back to what the women had just told me. This could not be happening to me! These kinds of scenarios only happened in Hollywood movies and books. I glanced away from the women I had briefly just met. The women’s private office had many large medical textbooks skillfully stacked on bookshelves and her other furniture was nicely organized around the room like a marching band at a high school football game during the half time show. Everything had a specific placement. The room was dead silent except for the hysterical cries from my parents and the tic tock from the clock. With every tic tock, my life got shorter.
“I am extremely sorry Mr. and Mrs. Jones. I am afraid though that the cancer is not treatable anymore. It has progressed rapidly and we have already done many rounds of chemotherapy and bone marrow transplants. I wish there was something I could do to help. If only we had caught the warning signs earlier, I believe Josh would make it through with a full recovery,” Doctor Williams’ voice was filled with sorrow and sadness. This caused my parents to cry even more. I looked back at Dr. Williams hoping she would laugh and say she was just joking. A silent lone tear fell from her hazel green eye. All my hope flooded out of my body. She was not joking. Dr. Williams was telling the truth. I was going to die. My mom reached out and tried to hug me, but I shrugged her off as if her hands were another disease. I jumped up from my uncomfortable red scratchy chair. My mom’s cries broke and everyone looked at me quizzingly.
“What’s wrong Josh?” My dad asked sniffling. My mind was boggled with information. I only had less than a month to live because of my leukemia, a cancer of the white blood cells and/or bone marrow. I just could not process that my life was over.
“I can’t die! I am only fifteen! I still have a whole life to live! I haven’t even finished high school yet!” I shouted angrily. Doctor Williams had to be wrong. I paced the organized room back and forth. I’m sure I left a worn out trail on the new clean white carpet. Both of my parents jumped up and embraced me in a hug. I think the news was finally starting to absorb into my brain like a sponge slowly absorbing water. Now I knew why, people should not know their own death dates. I broke down crying right there. I could not hold it in any longer. What was I going to do?
During the month, I was in and out of the hospital. They never kept me for long periods of time because they knew I was going to die soon. As I got closer to my expiration date, I became comfortable with death. I had no regrets from my life. I had everything a kid could ever ask for, a loving family and great friends. My parents had tried to spend every waking moment with me. I laid down on my bed listening to my mom and dad share childhood memories when I took my last breath. I squeezed my parent’s hands as their faces began to blur and slowly fade into blackness. I was going to miss them so much, I thought to myself. Even though I could not see my parents anymore, I could still feel their touch on my hands as I began to see a white light approaching in the distance. An overwhelming calm came over me as my parents whispered I love you.