When the chimpanzee came up to me and said “I want you to take me home and feed me and take care of me” I felt special. I felt as is there was nothing that could go wrong. We’ve been friends for a long time and I constantly worry about him in that zoo. When I found the papers to be able to do so, I built him his own sanctuary and added on to the kids’ part of the house so he could have his own room, if he so pleased. When we got home, everything was different. He brought friends over all the time, ate everything, asked for nothing and gave nothing. He had turned into a human being. He had no courtesy, respect, honour. Pretty soon, he had started to shave himself and make a different pattern of speech. He had loosened up. By the end of the first 6 months, he was none other than a druggy. He looked horrible, never showered, disrespected me and my family and gave us so much grief for living the way we did.

Needless to say, I kicked him out and he moved on. He had passed for someone able to live in society, so I said nothing. I let them believe what they wanted. I warned them to look a little farther into it, but nothing came of it.

When the poor primate that entered my home realized that he wanted freedom, he took it. He took it and made nothing of it. He messed it up just like a child would.

I feel abandoned, used, and unable to trust anyone, right now. I feel like I should be able to move on from this, but I loved this chimp, and I believe he loved me. For the better part of three years, he was like a son to me. I was always checking on him, and seeing if there was anything I could do to help him while he stayed where he did. I shared my life with him. I let him see what I have let no one see. The worst part about it is that he seemed to care so much, but he just dropped it like it was nothing.