Here kitty kitty kitty here kitty. Aw kitty cat, there you are! Come sit on your momma’s lap while she drinks her mornin’ tea. Its nice ta have ya around kitty cat, you’re the only one that listens to me anymore. Well kitty, today I'm plannin' on doin’ some gardenin’. Suzzy is commin’ over tomorrow. You know her, she’ll be on to me if my garden ain’t done up. She thinks her garden is just the best around. It would be nice if she never came around here no more, all she’s good for is naggin’. It seems like all I ever do these days are work on this darn yard, everyday somethin’ needs a fixin’. It’s gonna be a miracle when winter comes around and I don’t have ta waste one bit of worryin’ about fixin’ up the yard ever again.
Dagnabit, here comes those darn neighbor kids, tearin’ up my flower bed ‘gin. I thought they’d learn by now to stay off my property ‘specially afta’ last time when I threatened ‘em of callin’ the police. But, you know kids, they don’t take nothin’ serious these days; life is just one big joke. Kitty Cat what are we gonna do? I think jus me n’ you needa pack up and move into the country where nobody will be botherin’ us no more. They’ll all be away from us. Oh Kitty that’ll be the day.
Look there! A dadgum baseball rollin’ into my yard and the dasies I planted just yesterday are ruined! Hey! Get outta here kids, I’m gonna tell your folks what you’re up to if ya don’t shoo! Wouldn’t you think they’ve been raised better than that? When I was growin’ up we never woulda thought about stompin’ through a garden and messin’ up an old ladies flowers. Crazy little holegans, need to be inside learnin’ their manners or reading a good book. I’m sittin’ right up here n’ instead of apologizin’ they just trample through my yard without sayin’ anything. They act like they’re scarred of talkin’ to me or somethin’. One of these days I’m gonna teach em’ a lesson, one of these days.
Oh heavens sake, here comes the neighbor dog lookin’ for trouble gin’. Shoo you mut! Shoo! Get away from my kitty cat, you better get away! Kitty cat please get down from that tree, here kitty kitty kitty. Your gonna hurt yourself poor little kitty and it’s gonna be all that darn muts fault. Where’s a nice strong gentleman to getcha outta that tree when ya need one? I tell ya, back in my day a gentleman would have already been out here with his ladder gettin' ya down. Herald woulda gotin’ ya down for me. He woulda done jus’ bout’ anything for his lil’ stella. Those darn kids are just standin’ around watchin’ like this is some kinda freak show instead of helpin’ out. Hey kids, why don’t cha come help me out, it’ll just take a minuet. Let’s see if I ever do anything for em'. Oh, I wish I had someone to help ya get down from this darn tree kitty cat but, no one wants ta’ help an old lady like me no mo'. Here Kitty Kitty Kitty, here Kitty Cat.