The murder of Cinderella had shaken up everyone. She was obviously the most beautiful and graceful of all the princesses. Any of the other princesses had motive to murder her. It is just a question of which one had the courage to do it, and who had the right fairy godmother to help cover up the crime.
Finding the culprit was my job.

Ariel had always been jealous of Cinderella’s long, gorgeous legs and wanted a pair of her own, not the fin she was forced to live with. I knew that she was capable of the crime, so I brought her in for questioning. As Ariel was rolled into the office by a tank of water on wheels, her arrogance was abundant and obvious. Her red hair flowed behind her wherever she swam, and she blew bubbles in the water when she spoke. However, her story had checked out after all. She had been teaching water aerobics class at the Y when Cinderella was murdered. She was clean. I thought she must have come to terms with her big, green, and inconvenient fin because she did not murder Cinderella.

I next questioned Aurora, or Sleeping Beauty, which was her street name. She was jealous of the energy Cinderella always had and was angry because she was always tired and dragging. She wanted Cinderella’s same energy. So it was no surprise that when she slowly scudded into the office, she wasn’t looking too awake. Her blonde, greasy hair had been pulled in a bun and her pink sweat suit had a Diet Coke stain on the left sleeve. As I was questioning Aurora, her brown eyes could barely stay open. However, she wasn’t the criminal I had been looking for either. I checked her sources, and her tale was true. She had spent the night of the murder at the Magic Isle Sleep Clinic. I figured she must have found caffeine pills, because she did not murder Cinderella.

Snow White was a suspect that was very suspicious to me. She was angry with the fact that Cinderella had animals cater to her needs while Snow White was forced to wait on those high matinence dwarves. She wanted a little service for herself every once in a while. Snow White walked into the office looking particularly fabulous. Her skin looked flawless, her hair fluffed, and her lips were the color of a shiny red apple. She was the kind of woman who could make any man believe anything she said. She didn’t need to in this situation though. We checked, and she had been at Wal Mart that night buying a new vacuum. It seemed Dopey found sucking up mice a particularly worthy activity. Snow White wasn’t my girl. She must have become the spa’s best costumer, because she did not murder Cinderella.

Pocahontas was frightening at first glance. She thought people like Cinderella were the reason for her people having no land or supplies left. She wanted the environmentally unaware to pay. She walked gracefully into my office wearing a short dress made of deer skin and decorated with beads. She carried an arrow with her and did not smile once, obviously the reason I found her a bit scary. Her hair was braided into two neat pigtails. However, she answered my questions very diplomatically. Her story? She had been teaching scouts how to start a fire and pitch a tent, then spent the night camping with them. It too, checked out. I figured Cinderella must have gone GREEN at some point, because she did not murder Cinderella.

My last interview turned out to be my best. Belle was angry with the fact Cinderella had glass slippers, a crown, and a castle. She complained that all she got was a hairy beast as a lover and a house full of wisecracking appliances. She glided into the interrogation room. Her arrogance showed on her face as her perfectly shaped nose was stuck in the air. She had her chestnut hair pulled into a tight bun and had a Burger King crown placed on her head. She seemed to be a couple fries short of a happy meal. She started answering the questions very well, but suddenly things turned. When I mentioned Cinderella hadn’t deserved her horrible fate, and only the best should be bestowed upon her, she went crazy. She began ranting on about how Cinderella hadn’t deserved anything she had owned. She said Cinderella had it coming to her and only a true princess deserved a crown, glass slippers, and a castle. I knew then I had my girl. She knew she had backed herself into a corner, so she admitted to her crime. She was sentenced to a fifty year stay at the Magical Happy Fairytale Prison. Belle was the culprit. She did murder Cinderella.

It felt good to go home that night and know the case had been solved. The interviews were tough, but they helped me catch my murderer. I laid my head down that night knowing everything was right again in the word of unrealistic fairytale happiness.