Attack of the Butt Spider? What?? | Teen Ink

Attack of the Butt Spider? What??

September 16, 2012
By hiddenprincess GOLD, Millersburg, Ohio
hiddenprincess GOLD, Millersburg, Ohio
19 articles 0 photos 7 comments

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OK so what if I told you that you should be paranoid every time you use a airplane or public restroom? What if I told you that if you use these bathrooms, you could be in danger of getting a deadly spider bite?

The Butt Spider. Yes, I just said Butt Spider which a species that originated from south America. It turns out that a few years ago in Chicago, 5 women were hospitalized because of this weird named arachnid.

It turns out that in the same week, 5 different women were hospitalized at different times but all had the same symptoms: vomiting, cramps, chills, cold sweats, fever, dizziness, and finally death. At first it seemed these women had nothing in common but then it turned up that all the women ate at Big Boys, a restaurant that was inside of the Chicago airport.

Immediately, the heath services were sent to the restaurant. They tested everything that the women said they ate. The test came back negative. The air and water quality was also tested and was negative.

It looked like the trail had gone cold. A few days later, the five women hospitalized died. A day or two after that, another woman, a worker, came in with the same symptoms. She said that she had went to her work place so that way she could pic up her pay check. While there, she used the restroom.

A toxicologist had a light bulb then go off in his head. He personally drove down to the restaurant and went into the bathroom himself. He lifted the toilet seat and to his surprise, a small group of spiders. It turns out that there had been other reports of symptoms just like the women they just had but it happened after they got off of their flights.

The spiders that were under the seats came from south America and were called Butt Spiders because of their coloration and crease down their abdomen. The bathrooms on the airlines and all food chains were taken care of.

So now that you are paranoid of public toilets I shall give you some comfort. This is an old Internet joke. Even though it is a good idea to check the toilet seats, don't be afraid that you are going to die from a fictitious spider. If you want more info on this myth, google Attack Of The Butt Spider... Happy bathroom trips!!


The author's comments:
This is not real!!!! This is an old Internet joke... DONT BE PARANOIED OF TOILETS!!!!

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