She shall lie here awake in complete boredom and wait for the sweeping sensation to carry her off into a land of unknown. A land where her own thoughts cannot be controlled, where her own body will not do what it is told, where nothing she says or does is from her but in fact from some foreign person who only awakens in her slumber. She will not go on adventures, fun occasions or do impossible things as many others do in their dream states. Instead her mind will wander to the path that it so often does when her brain isn't occupied with some other distraction. She will feel the pain like a stabbing in her stomach, once again she will feel trapped, alone, scared. And then her eyes will open wide to the bubble gum pink walls of her room and she will realize it was but a made up scenario in her head. Then she will remember that maybe this time it was only imaginary but once it wasn't. Tears will stream down her once smiling face and she will wonder if this will ever end. If one day it won't be her default thought, what her mind goes to when it has nothing better to do. Wonders if in her unconscious one day she might have peace, dream of pleasant things like traveling the world with someone she loves. Or maybe she could not dream at all and let the pits of nothingness leave her calm and not stirring in her silent sleep.

She wonders if he will change that. His warm touch that has comforted her through so much pain and has held her as she cried, will it stop the hurt one day? She already doesn't feel the gut wrenching pain of aloneness anymore, she no longer wishes for anything to take her from this world. Instead she longs for him, to be close to her all the time. To touch her and laugh with her and free her from her own thoughts. With him she doesn't tend to focus on the past, her mind explores happy paths of her future and the present with him close by. It doesn't reverse into the dark, glaring forests of her past. He leads her from it and into a new land of enchanting new plants and captivating creatures that tear her mind from the monsters lurking behind. Oh yes he can help her while it is her in charge of her thoughts. But what about when she is gone, only her body lies still and her uncontrollable twin takes over, will his touch, his nearness, his kiss break this painful curse she goes through every time her evil slumber takes over. Will the very touch of his fingers curve her mind away from the memory even when she has no control. Could the sound of his breathing even begin to poke at the walls trapping her within her own memories? Oh how she hoped, she hoped his grip on her would pull her from the dark forest even when she couldn't help at all for she wasn't in control of her brain. She prayed his magical ways of steering her mind from the dark would also work in her slumber if he was just there to make it happen.