All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
Recipe for the Worst Birthday Ever
Ingredients:
1 acre of forgetful family
1 mound of forgetful friends
1-4 flat car tires
A bucket of sleet
A pocketful of tardiness
6 whispers of gossiping “frenemies”
A dash of forgotten lunch
A truckload of quizzes and tests
A vial of forgetting the front door key
A valley of loneliness
8 droplets of arguing parents
An ocean of tears
A lifetime of disappointment (optional)
Directions:
1.) In a large saucepan, combine an acre of forgetful family with a mound of forgetful friends. Turn on the heat and warm the mixture.
2.) Next, add in 1-4 flat car tires, to taste. Combine completely.
3.) Dump a bucket of sleet into the saucepan, along with a pocketful of tardiness. Bring slowly to a simmer.
4.) In a separate bowl, combine 6 whispers of gossiping “frenemies”, a dash of forgotten lunch, and a truckload of quizzes and tests. Add it to the sauce slowly while stirring. Turn up the heat.
5.) Toss in a vial of forgetting the front door key. Then, fill the saucepan with a valley of loneliness. Taste the sauce to ensure that loneliness has overpowered every other flavor. Allow the liquid to begin boiling.
6.) Add in 8 droplets of arguing parents. The sauce should now be at a rolling boil.
7.) Flood the saucepan with an ocean of tears just as it begins to overflow. This will cool it down immediately.
8.) Best when served alongside a lifetime of disappointment.
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 0 comments.