“Claire wake up time for school.”

Kai stood at the edge of my bed shaking me. It had been four months since the death of Logan and my encounter with Taboo.

“I don’t want to go!”

“Too bad!”

“I don’t want to go, Kai!”

He picked me up and carried me out of the room and to the table downstairs.

“Eat then I’ll drive you to school.”

“I don’t want to go. I’m depressed.”

“What do you want me to do about it, Claire!? I gave you pills, taken you to doctors and therapist, you’ll just have to get over it yourself!” He yelled at me and I started crying.

“I miss Logan! I want her back!”

“And she will be back now hurry up.”

I quickly ate and wiped my tears away. I got into his car and he drove at his too fast speed to our school. As always everyone stared because they all thought we were dating. Kai walked his way and I walked mine even though we had the same class together. It was just to get away from the public. Miki and Catherine walked with me to class as always.

Everyone was happy since they didn’t know of Logan’s death. Kai said I couldn’t tell anyone because she would be back. He wouldn’t even let me tell my brother since he tends to not be able to keep secrets well. Miki and Catherine dropped me off at my seat next to Kai. He leaned in to whisper in my ear.

“Logan will be back soon. She told me she was trying to get them to let her visit.”

“Ok but that probably won’t make me feel better.”

“Claire I don’t know what to do with you anymore. Nothing makes you happy.”

“I told you, Kai. I’m depressed.”

Class started so we couldn’t finish our conversation. Worse the lesson was about the decomposing of dead bodies which made me think of Logan. I guess Kai could tell because he held my hand and rubbed it and when I was close to breaking down he would whisper something in my ear. It was time for lunch now thank God. I sat with Kai today because I didn’t want to start crying in front of my friends. I didn’t eat but just played with my food.

“Claire you have to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I’m about to start forcing you to eat and you don’t want me to do that.”

“Probably wouldn’t.”

“Listen. Do you want to sleep with me tonight?”

“No.”

“Sure?”

“No.”

“Well you can if you want to but right now eat.”

“Fine.”

I took a small bite of my salad and Kai frowned at me.

“I have done everything, Claire.”

“I know you have and I’m sorry it didn’t work.”

“Claire it has been four months.”

“Not enough to recover.”

“Do you want to finish school?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure you can make it though?”

“No.”

“I’m pulling you out of school. Let’s go.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me from the table. My friends looked at me as he dragged me through the cafeteria and out the door to the parking lot. He pulled me into his Mustang and drove off to our house. I went straight to my room and laid down on the bed. I head the door open then close and Kai was beside me. One thing I hate about him is that he’s too fast. He wiped my hair back and kissed my forehead.

“Is there anything that will make you happy?”

“Yes. I have a list in my closet. It’s in the green box.”

He walked over to my closet and opened it. An avalanche of green boxes with labels pled around him.

“Which one?”

“The one that says ‘desires’.”

He grabbed the box and put the rest in the closet neatly. He was next to me quickly and already had my list in his hands.

“I’m going to read this out loud.”

“Ok just don’t get mad at some things.”

“One, kiss Kai without getting hurt afterwards. Two, learn more about Kai. Three, get Logan back. Four, find a guy that loves me as much as I love him. Five, get a tattoo.”

“Pretty impossible I know.”

“Actually I can do most of these.”

“Which ones?”

“Two, four, and five. Logan will have to do three herself.”

“You’ll take me to get a tattoo?”

“No your mom would kill me but, I can do it myself.”

“You can do a tattoo yourself?”

“I’ve been doing it for eight hundred years I’m pretty skilled at it.”

“Can you do it now?”

“Sure where do you want it?”

“A pair of angel wings on my back.”

“Ok but you can’t tell anyone.”

“Lets go then.”

“You sound happier already.”

“I am happier.”

He walked out of the room and came back with a case. He opened it and I could see what they usually use at a regular tattoo parlor.

“Lay down.”

“I’m nervous.”

“Need some alcohol?”

“No!”

“Sure?”

“Yes.”

“Then lay down.”

I did as he said and laid on my stomach. I muffled my screams of pain into the pillow and did my best to stay still. It seemed like hours before he finished. I fell asleep in the middle of it. I felt something shake me then Kai’s musical laughter. I sat up feeling sore.

“Do you want to see it?”

“Yah sure.”

I stretched, yawned, then got out of the bed. I walked sleepily to the bathroom where Kai picked me up and set me on the counter. He carefully slipped my shirt off over my head and turned my head away. It was full of detail and extremely large covering almost my whole back.

“I thought you didn’t want my mom to see this.”

“She won’t.”

“It’s huge!”

“That’s what you asked for.”

“Good point.”

“Um…don’t be mad but I did two.”

“Two!”

He turned me around and on the lower part of my stomach was a pair of fangs with blood dripping off it.

“Your mom won’t notice.”

“I hope not.”

“Are you happy?”

“Yes, thank you.”

I kissed his cheek and he didn’t budge but just stared at me. He carefully picked me up and carried me to my room.

“So do you want to work on number two?”

“Sure.”

“I’m not American.”

“You aren’t?”

“I’m half Thai half, half American.”

“You would think I’d notice that.”

“I don’t look Thai that much but if you look closely you can tell.”

I leaned into his face and he looked at me strange but the look faded slowly.

“You can tell a little.”

“A little.”

“Your too pale to notice but you can see in the eyes and hair a little.”

“The hair?”

“Yah. You have Asian hair.”

“Ok…?”

“Not to be an insult or anything.”

“Understood.”

“Did you put streaks in your hair?”

“A while ago.”

“You can tell.”

I ran my fingers through his hair something I had been wanting to do since the first time I met him. It was oddly soft when I had imagined it to be filled with gel for the spikes. I looked down at him to see that he had his eyes closed. I would ask if touching his hair bothered him but I didn’t want to ruin my moment. I ran my hand around his eyes and they flashed open then closed again.

I messed with my own hair as a distraction before going back to his. I looked down to see if his eyes were still closed. They were. I took my hand and put it on his chest to feel the scars. I could feel the bites, tears, and bullet marks. I ran my hand over one and his eyes flashed open then closed. I carefully pulled his shirt off to where I could see the marks.

How come he would of killed me if I tried to do this before but now he’s like a statue? I ran my fingers around the circular scars of bullets. Running my palm over the sword lines and dagger cuts. I messed with his hair again then backed away. He opened one green eye, shrugged, and closed it again.

“What happened to Paige?”

“Hmm?”

His eyes opened but closed again.

“What happened to her?”

“No one would ever look for information on a girl.”

“Why did you do it?”

“She said she wanted to come along with me. She didn’t want me to leave one day and never come back. If I died she wanted to die too. She said that she would make herself useful in any way. She allowed me to hurt her.”

“So what did she want to come along to?”

“I was in the army but I was also a paid assassin.”

“You? An assassin? That’s surprising.”

He opened his eyes and put my hands in his.

“Close your eyes.”
I did as he said and I could see pictures of him surrounded by people then all of them on the floor dead and bleeding. Then there was one of him and some man. He had a gun in his hands and she had a stack of money. He handed it to him and he left. He dropped my hands and the pictures cut off.

“Wow.”

“Yah.”

He closed his eyes again and started humming.

“What are you humming?”

“A song I knew a long time ago.”

“Oh.”

I looked at his eyes for a while then messed with his hair. I ran the spikes up and laughed to myself when they stuck. I heard Kai laugh and l saw his orange eyes staring up at me. I quickly took my hands out of his hair and put them in my lap. He looked at me confused and I shrugged. He laughed and I started too.

“Paige is going to kill you when she sees me.”

“She won’t notice.”

“I’ll be covered in red.”

“Well I have permanent ink in my skin and my mother is going to kill you when she sees the fangs.”

“I deserve it.”

I laughed and he followed.

“I’m happier. Thank you.”

“I just hope it last.”

I didn’t answer him but just ran my fingers over his chest again. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him. Then started crying. Happiness over. Kai started humming again and I could feel the drowsiness coming over me. I woke in the dark.

“Kai?”

“Yah?”

“Where am I?”

I sat up and looked beside me. I laid my head on his shoulder but quickly took it off. I got up and walked out of the room and ran to the bathroom crying. I took out pills, a dagger, and a gun. I poured all of the pills out that I could find and shoved them into my mouth. I took the dagger slicing my wrist, arms, legs, face, and stomach. I put the gun to my heart and closed my eyes.

“Claire! No! No! No!”

I opened my eyes and Kai grabbed my weapons. He picked me up and sat against the wall. He put me in his lap, rocked me back and, forth, and hummed his song. I cried loudly pulling my hair out the best I could. He turned me around and pulled my arms around his neck.

“I want her back!”

“it’s ok Claire.”

I started feeling dizzy and the room spun. The pills. I overdosed. I collapsed.