Looking out my window, I could see the bright, shining stars. They glistened like diamonds, mocking me with their beauty. It was all I could hope for that one day, I could have a piece of that destined heaven for myself. Well, now a day, that is the only thing that could keep me here. Death was a sin that I never wanted to see, at least not yet.
In my life, I have lived and seen more then any nineteen year old should ever see in their life. At fourteen, I was teased so much because of the way I looked, how I acted, and by whom my father was. I stood on top of the astronomy tower, thinking about jumping, until Professor Snape saved me. At fifteen, I was raped, and received the mark of a death eater. At sixteen, I lost everything: my father, my sanity, and my life. Just a couple years ago, I gave birth to a little boy. A beautiful little boy who I would never want to give up, but had to because of this war.
My son will never know his father, and will live in the wonderful life I know he is having. He would be two now, and I can only hope he is the perfect mix between myself and his father. Wavy black hair, tall, extremely smart, and most of all, his father’s beautiful onyx eyes. It was only a hope that a mother could have. That was all I could have.
There was a fierce battle, and one side won. I could care less which one, seeing as I couldn’t be excited if either one won. I was the one stuck in the middle. Horcrux to the Dark Lord himself and spy for the Order, the only one stuck in between the two groups. I was the only one who could have stopped the war.
I could have stopped it all. I could have jumped from the astronomy tower and just have ended it there and then. I could have, but I couldn’t. Why? Because I am afraid of death. I am too afraid to see what might happen if I would jump. I am afraid of what’s on the other side, just waiting to torcher me for eternity.
The stars were very pretty tonight. The grounds were peaceful as the war had just ended. I didn’t know what side won, but I hoped it was the good side. There was no cheering, no shouts of exaltation. I could hear all the old portraits making their own assumptions. Only one didn’t join in as I continued to stand there. He seemed too lost in his old thoughts. He seemed all to concerned with himself.
I heard the door knob jiggle as someone walked in. But… it wasn’t just one pair of feet; it was more like three or four. A surprised gasp echoed throughout the room. Turning around, I was met with the faces of Ron, Hermione, and Harry. All of them looked ragged and utterly tired. Slowly, I approached my old friends, hugging them.
“He’s dead?” Whispering in Harry’s ear, as I took him in my arms.
“Yeah, gone forever. We are finally free.” he said, utterly exasperated. I laughed at him. We were not free. He was free, not me. Voldemort was still alive, because one horcrux still lived on.
“I’m so proud of all you.” The portrait’s started their mindless jabber, talking about how they were glad this was all over with. “I’m really going to miss all of you.”
“What are you talking about?” came Ron’s voice, “Artemis, you’re not leaving us are you?”
“Y-you can’t!” Hermione shrieked.
I laughed.
“I’m not leaving you guys.” I saw all of them slump their shoulders in relief. “But as long as you all are around me, you will never be safe. Voldemort isn’t dead because you missed a horcrux. You didn’t kill me. He didn’t kill me. So long as you all remember who I am, you will never be safe.”
“What are you saying?” Came Harry’s voice. His exasperation became a sense of emergency as he might be loosing me.
“I’m saying my good-bye’s.” Tears streamed down Hermione’s face, Ron was paler then I had ever seen him before. “I’ve lost my son, and my one true love. It’s better this way, trust me. If I have it so you all will never remember any of this, then I can lead him out of the country and he’ll forever be a memory.”
“No! You shouldn’t have to do this! It isn’t right!”
“Nothing is ever right Hermione.” I said, as calmly as my self-control would let me. “I’m sorry, but if I know that you all are still alive, then that is enough for me. My life is already hell, you guys have survived enough.” Pulling out my wand, I quickly took all their minds into my control. I could see every memory they had of me and obliterated them. The only images, sound, smell, color of me that I left them was my name. The name would become theirs to keep, but they would never know who I am. They would never know that I was the daughter to Sirius Black. They wouldn’t remember what I did for them. They wouldn’t remember that I was Severus Snape’s wife, love and mother to his child.
Raising my wand, their vacant stares looked around the room. I left them there, alone in their thoughts.
Tears streamed down from my eyes.
It was better this way. They shouldn’t have to deal with the loss. They would live have a happy life, without me. All I had to do is get out of the country. He would follow me, I know he will. I had to get out of London, out of England. I had to keep everyone safe.
Everyone but myself.