In the beginning God made a man, his name was Adam. When God noticed Adam wasn’t completely happy with what he had, he made the animals. God thought these creatures would keep him company.. only to soon realize that some of these animals were vicious, merciless beasts.. However, there were some good animals, for example: The unfortunately extinct Unicorns, Adam loved these creatures so much, it worried God, for he was becoming “One” with them. This forced God to take them away... leaving Adam alone yet again. SUDDENLY God had an Idea! He would create a Woman! This would be like a Man, but so much more complicated. We shall call she her. And she shall restore peace in this land and force order upon the civilizations. She shall be a called ‘Eve,’ (Queen of the feminists.) When Eve arrived, Adam was hardly pleased... He was angry that God would have created such a creature to run the land in his place, and he wanted NO part in it. However, God had told the Man and Woman to mate.. This made Adam uncomfortable and sent him running to the hills in search for his unicorn lovers, unfortunately... they were no where to be found.. Leaving Eve alone. Eve on the other hand was in the mood for a little dancing (If you know what I mean.) And went traveling off in search for her Adam.. During her journey she came across a serpent. He was long, dark, and mysterious... Just the way Eve liked it.. The serpent said to her “Hey babe.. Wanna have a good time.” (Eve was more than HAPPY to oblige.) Ironically, after that desultory encounter, Adam realized he wanted a piece of dat ass. Before Eve knew it, she was having twins! One Adam’s... and one the serpents.

It’s been like 13 years now, and Adam still completely clueless decides to go out and get his sons a gift for their upcoming birthday. Little did he know that the boys, Kane and Abel, were off doing things they shouldn’t be... WITH EACHOTHER! (OMG! #TWINCEST)
Let’s see.. what else is going on...? Oh Yeah! Momma Eve is still going at it with that sneaky snake.. OMG! I just heard a rumor that Abel saw another girl and totally just knocked her up! Woah! Well, apparently Kane just found out! Woah! Man! He’s furious! He’s running to Able!! Maybe he’s going to tell him congratulations...? Oh. Wait! NOOO! HOLY COLOSTOMY BAG!!! ABLE JUST KILLED KANE!!!!! Oh No! The girl Able knocked up just killed him! She just yelled “You killed my lover you dirty snake!” Dude!? Does that mean... Ahhhhh! So much plot!
Wait.. what’s that in the background? OH, ick.. it’s Eve and the Serpent! HAHA! They just killed the girl! Wait! EVE LOOK OUT!......

Holy Jeans... The serpent just killed Eve? But I thought they were lovers... what happened? Wait, is that...? ADAM! I thought he was away? Wait? What!? Oh! Holy! ARE YOU?! AHHHH!? NOOOOO!!!??!

The truth is.. this whole time Eve wasn’t the serpents man.......
ADAM AND THE SERPENT HAVE BEEN GAY FOR EACHOTHER THIS ENTIRE TIME.

#WhenItActuallyWasAdamAndSteve