I felt the cold water skim my back. The liquid trickling down my body, I began noticing the air passing through my lungs. Slowly but surely it eased its way through my throat. The memories scorching my heart as I took down the wall of my innocence. Rewinding to the worst day of history, I began to think of your face shining with joy. You kissed me quickly and I wish I could have held on longer. Held on to the faint scent of you, the muffled sound you made when you were angry. The way your brown hair tumbled into your face with that half smile that could light someone’s day. You are the reason I woke every morning. To see your kind face, And to feel your steady hands hold me.
You were everything to me and believe it or not you still are.
I let the pain rush to my face and as the tears mixed with the blending water I let myself go. I let everything and every thought slip my mind as my body drifted the dark current of bliss.
Soon my oxygen cut off and water seeped through my lungs. I felt the numb sensation of sorrow. My life flashed before my eyes and then I found you. Your eyes twinkling with a desperate hope that everything would be okay. But most of all I felt the loss. I remember kneeling into the pile of ash were you once where. The wholesome and completeness of you was lost and woven into a million grains of sand. A million fragments of other peoples loved ones. I touched the warm fibers of fire and scattered them across my hand. Tears pooled in my eyes as I saw something, one of the few things left from those scorched towers. A picture of me and you staring into each other’s eyes as if we could see something that no one else could. A powerful bond held within our souls that could almost feel like magic. I touched the fire still burning the rim of the photo. I turned it over to find the etchings of your hand writing marked into words that formed “Never give up Lisa, even if the sun stops shining”.
Soon I eased myself into reality. My eyes burst open as my feet dangled for the bottom of the pool. I sprung up feeling the weight of the liquid separate above me. My mouth retched water as I leaned over the side of concrete. Then I screamed, so loud and so broad that my throat turned raw. I could feel the emotions burst through my skin. I remember everything. Watching the buildings crash in the time it takes to brush your hair. I always thought you escaped, somehow got out of that smoldering building. But the thin line of hope seemed to vanish fast. I remember touching the palm of your hand as I walked out the door. But I never knew that it would be the last time I would touch you or see you or even hear you ever again. The last thing you said to me was “Faith is a powerful thing that should resemble hope for eternity. God has a brilliant plan for you, but you are the one to find your destiny” I kissed his cheek and made my way out of the thin glass door.
And I never even thought to look back.