Comfort. A wave of my grandmother’s fresh washed linen surrounds me the second I opened the door.

    “Nonna, I’m home!” I shouted through the house, with a smile prevalent in my voice.

    That woman is my rock. She is there through everything, from holding me whilst I was crying in my room over a stupid boy, to celebrating with me when I got accepted into my dream college. I never had a mom. Her daughter, my mother, had me at a very young age. After I was born, she left. That was when my grandma swooped in and took over. My grandmother raised me to be a strong, independent woman, who held onto her future so tight that if all of the energy in the universe was to try to pull it from her grasp, her hand would detach from her body. My mother took a different path, so in essence, I am my grandmother’s second chance at raising a child, and in my opinion, she did a damn good job. 

    “I’m in the laundry room, my love. Your tea is waiting for you on the island,” my grandma’s sweet voice radiated down the hall. She always had a hot cup of tea, exactly the way I like it, waiting for me when I get home from classes. My angel. I took a sip of my tea as I grasped both hands around the cup, absorbing the warmth. I happily walked down the hall, toward the laundry room, with a subtle smile on my face. I always look forward to coming home to her, even on my worst days. The smell of her fresh washed linen is my home. 

    I leaned on the door, staring at her folding the linen, with a small smile on my face. 

    “Hello honey, how was school today?” asked my grandma as I watched her fold my blanket, fresh out of the dryer. That blanket is my security. My grandma gave it to me when I was born, and I haven’t let go of it since. It was her’s when she was a baby, and now it is mine. Yes, it is a little torn from all of the years of wear and tear, but it is perfect for me.

    “It was good, I aced the Chemistry test I was stressed about!” I said, immediately grabbing the blanket with my free left hand, wrapping it around my shoulders, and taking a breath of the aroma of pure comfort. 

    “I knew you could do it,” she happily stated. 

    “I’m gonna go watch YouTube in my room, and relax,” I kissed her on her left cheek.

    “I love you Nonna.”

    “I love you more.” We always said that to each other before retreating to our rooms for the night. It was our thing, and we never went a day without saying it to each other. I opened the door, turned on my light, and laid on the bed, turning on my TV and pulling up YouTube. After a few videos, I felt my eyes get heavier, my muscles relaxing, and my breathing steady. Before I could comprehend it, I was sleeping peacefully.

    After what felt like a minute of sleep, my alarm for my 8 am class blasted throughout my room. I rubbed my eyes to try to keep myself up and scrolled through my phone. Around 7:25 am, I got up to go shower. Something felt different, I didn’t smell my morning pancakes, nor did I hear pans clattering in the kitchen. 

    “Nonna?” I said, a little worried.

    I walked into her room, to see her laying down with her eyes closed. I stumbled over to her bed, still half asleep and bent down to wake her. 

“Nonna, wake up,” I whispered shaking her shoulder.

“Nonna?”

My heart jumped into my throat, and my first instinct was to grab the phone. 

“Hello 911, what is your emergency?”

“Hi, my grandma didn’t wake up this morning, please send an ambulance,” practically screaming through the phone. 

“Okay stay on the line with us, what is your address?”

“34 Millbery Lane”

“Okay, an ambulance is en route. Can you put your ear up to her chest and tell me if there’s a heartbeat?”

I put my shaky head to her chest and listened for a moment, praying to hear something, anything, to indicate she was still alive.

*Thump-Thump*

“Yes she has a heartbeat, but it’s very faint. How far away is the ambulance?” I said, feeling some sort of relief.

“It’s almost there.”

“Stay with me, Nonna.” I begged.

The ambulance arrived to my house, but everything happened so fast, and I was practically ripped away from the only constant thing in my life. I needed her, she was my only family and at that moment she needed me more than ever. I felt helpless, I knew I could not do anything and I had to leave it up to the doctors, but there’s still that instinct to do anything to protect someone you love. The best I could do was to be by her side for as long as I can, so I rode in the ambulance with the paramedics as they were giving my grandma CPR. Five minutes later, I was in the ER waiting room as my grandma was in emergency open-heart surgery. The doctors said that as she was sleeping, she took a heart attack, and her heart was very damaged. The only way to attempt to save her was through this surgery. I grasped onto my freshly cleaned blanket, desperate for some comfort. 

I could not help but look at the worried family members just waiting for some news. I was one of them, desperate for the doctors to tell me something, anything. The woman crying in the corner made me worry more. I stared at her as my thoughts drifted. I could not help but reminisce about all of the articles I read about malpractice. What if Nonna could be one of those victims? What if she’s dying right now? What if the doctors make a fatal mistake?

Thoughts danced around my brain for a couple more hours until I was snapped out of it by the doctor.

“Family of Silva Jenkins?”

“Yes, I’m her granddaughter. Is she alive? Can I go see her?” I pleaded, still tightly gripping my blanket to my chest.  

I analyzed the doctor’s face, and his somber, tired eyes said it all.  He didn’t have to say anything more, I just knew. I dropped to the floor, sobbing into my blanket, and for the first time, the comfort of my grandma’s linen turned into sorrow and heartbreak.