The boat's nose starts to dip down towards the water. The engine goes from a roar to just a whisper under the boat. As I stand up from my seat, I start to shake. When I flip my wet hair to lay behind my shoulders, freezing water runs down my spine and my shaking gets more violent. I make my way to the back of the boat where my dad is waiting for me with the board and a life jacket. While I buckle my life jacket, some of my shaking goes away, now that I have some other warmth than my bathing suit. I step onto the deck while my dad throws the board into the water. I stared at the board as it started to drift away. This sent another shiver down my spine. This one seemed to not go away, it was stuck there as if it clung to my nervousness. 

“Come on Claire, get in the water!” Called my dad. 

I forced myself to jump off the deck into the large lake. When I came back up for air, goosebumps spread like a disease, covering me entirely. I tried to swim to the board, but was held back a little by my brutal shaking that had returned after I jumped in. When I finally reached the board, my dad threw the rope out for me to catch. Still holding onto the rope, I laid on my back and put my feet on the board. While my uncle was setting up, I sat there in the water, waiting in anticipation. The chill of the wind and water seemed to consume me, like a sheet of ice trying to cover me. The shiver that was stuck in my spine was still there, spilling many negative thoughts through my head like a reminder of my previous experience. 

“Ok, you tell me when you're ready!” My uncle cried.

I didn't know if I would ever be ready. 

I got so tired last time, what if I pass out while trying to get up? I already feel the soreness in my limbs returning. What if I lose control and then I run into the boat? How do I even get on the wake without falling? What if I get dragged underwater again? The water tried to act as air, rushing through my mouth and down my throat into my lungs. The boat dragged me like a doll. The pressure on my lungs felt like the entire world on my chest. I don't want to go through that again, it was too laborious.

My uncle's voice shook me from my memory.

“Are you good Claire?”

“Yup, you can go!”

“Ok, …… one…… two…….. three!”

When I heard the boat engine come back to life, I felt my heart pump faster and faster, pushing nervous blood through my whole body. I pushed my feet against the slippery board as I let the rope pull me on top of it. 

Ok, ok just try to stand up on three, one, two, three. No on five, one, two, three, four……. No I can't. 

My knees were still almost completely bent, making me in a crouched position on top of the board. The cold water was replaced by my remembrance of the never ending chill in my spine. The wind seemed to tug me this way and that. Every muscle and joint was cold and sore. My hand's grip was draining from my strength and my tense knees couldn't hold me up anymore. Every muscle in my body was twitching, many bones were bruised from the smack of the water from my fall last time. I felt like a newborn giraffe trying to stand for the first time. 

Alright, come on. You have to think positive right now because getting stressed and worked up about it, isn't going to help. There is no reason to be afraid. You don't even know what it's like to stand up yet so why worry about it. 

Then I looked out at the sunset, the beautiful pinks and vibrant oranges and bright yellows, all so pretty. As I looked at it, the shiver slowly ceased to exist. My hands became less tense and my legs started to relax a little. It was like a reassuring light, telling me to keep being positive. 

Ok use your legs, push and don't stop till you are standing up completely. You got this! One……. Two……. Three……

At that moment everything seemed to go in slow motion. I closed my eyes, trying to listen to the water so I could keep focusing. I heard the wake's waves slowly collapsing while crashing into other waves. I also felt my hair flying leisurely behind me like my own little wake. My legs slowly unfolded giving a little bit less stress on my arms. 

Let's do this, you are so close. Don't stop now, when you have come this far.

All of a sudden, everything went out of slow motion. I could hear piercing squeals coming from the boat. I quickly opened my eyes to see my whole family cheering for me. I looked down to find I had done it, I stood up. I quickly moved my right foot to the back to get in the right position. My heart was racing with excitement. The smile that lived on my face was irreplaceable. I threw my hand up in celebration of my victory. 

I continued to ride the wake for a little while but then I lost my balance and fell in. This time when I fell off the board the water greeted me with a feeling of a champ, not a doll.

My dad welcomed me onto the boat with a towel warmed by the engine and a cool drink. The second the towel wrapped around my aching body, I could feel every little fuss soak up all the water. It felt like a congratulating hug wrapping itself around me. 

That night as I crawled into bed, my thoughts turned to my amazing accomplishment. I had done it and it wasn't because of luck or skill. My positivity was the only thing that led to my success. Luckily, I also had great family support but I still needed my head in the right place for me to keep going. My mindset changed it all. If I can use my positivity to help me succeed here then I could use it anywhere, I can learn anything.