I always wanted to feel euphoria at least once in my life; now, I have the chance to feel precisely that. I sit in front of this blonde girl who had a cigarette in one hand and was putting away her lighter with the other. She tried talking to me about something though I could not hear her; I was at my first college party that day. I have never been to one in the three years I was at college.  I was far too nervous about associating myself with party people, yet I sit amidst a party. It was tough to hear her over the sound of all the drunks and the music combined. The blonde girl notices the confused look on my face, so she pushes aside the couple making out next to her and makes her way to sit next to me. She then puts her lit-up cigarette in an ashtray sitting in the middle of the table in front of us. The ashtray is surrounded by a bunch of drinks which one of which is hers. She takes a sip and places the cup back down; she looks as if she is getting ready to grab something . She then reaches her hands in the pockets of her dark grey jacket and pulls up a bottle of some clear-looking liquid. Along with the liquid, she pulls out a strange plate-looking object in her hand. She takes a bit of it from the bottle and puts it in the weird thing that looks like a plate. “Here, swallow this. It won’t harm you; trust me, it’s just fentanyl. I gave you the lowest amount I could but trust me; you will be fine. You only live once, so why not make it the best. am I right? After this, You’ll never feel the same again”. I look into her blue eyes to see my reflection. I looked confused about what to do; this was a confusing decision. I  set my eyes back to the plate in her hand, and I shook my head to gesture a slow yes. I want to never to feel the same again. She brings the plate close to my mouth, trying to indicate to take it. I hesitate a bit to take it. 

 Did I want to take it? I wasn’t very sure because I knew what drugs did to you. Look at my dad, for example. He’s always in a different world and ruined his life because of drugs. He started doing them after my mother died; he is almost always high. I went into a deep depression when all this happened. I know I hated him for always being on drugs, but I know he lived his life to the fullest. I know he was happy even though he didn’t care about our happiness; he was happy. I wanted to be happy. 

I look at her face, and she looks back at me with a nodding head. I take it. I immediately fall back. My head hits the back of the dark-colored sofa that we are sitting on. I attempted to look over at the girl, but my body went into such relaxation that I could barely make myself do so. I felt a sudden peace followed by a euphoric type of feeling that rushed through every bit of my body. I feel so happy and relaxed all at the same time; I hadn’t felt either since the day I was diagnosed with depression, but today was the day. I keep relaxing and relaxing as the sounds fade in and out. The music keeps getting louder and louder than all of a sudden complete silence. The cycle keeps repeating itself. Louder and louder then total silence. The same happens with my vision; it fades in and then out.

Suddenly, relaxation wants to turn into a panic, but the drugs won’t let it. I try to get up very slowly, but I can’t even move an inch. I try to see, but my vision, just like the music, faded in and out of focus. The same happens with my body; I keep getting cold then hot, and the cycle repeats. Everything is repeating itself, and I’m starting to freak out. Though it was hard to freak out because my mind was in a whole different land, I still tried to make myself focus. I try to look around once again to try to have someone notice something was wrong. My vision keeps continuing to fade in and out before it reaches complete darkness. 

The darkness is followed by bright lights everywhere; this time, I could freak out, unlike before when I couldn’t react properly. I felt as if I had just died; I was able to look around as my vision started to come back along with my hearing. I slowly look down to see the hospital setting. My left arm is strapped with an IV and blood pressure machine that was currently off. I look down to see three warm blankets on top of me; the IV drip was why I was cold, and the doctors probably knew that. I look to the right to see a bunch of monitors strapped to different parts of my body. It feels weird that I was able to move now rather than when I couldn't. Yet I felt off; I did not feel like moving; I also felt exhausted and sore. I hear footsteps and a lot of talking from the door directly in front of me. 

Suddenly, the door swings open, and two doctors walk in and immediately come towards me. The doctors both look at each other then me in with an “I feel bad for you” look. It turns out I had been in a coma for three months because of a drug overdose. I’ll never feel the same again.not just because of the drugs. I  remember their faces. They always treated my dad for his drug overdoses and now they stand there looking at me with the same disappointment. I rememeber they used to have hope in their eyes when they saw me;now the hope in their eyes reflect disappointment.