I trust him but why am I so scared, why do I fear love? Why do I fear being wanted by someone? I seek constant validation from others and I throw myself into love like wood into a fire and with time that small flame grows into a wild fire. I want to keep that flam lit and strong, burning with happiness but I fined my head getting in the way of my heart. The smallest and little action that causes me pain makes my strong flame weak like a bucket of water was dumbed on top of the bright orange inferno, trying to put it out and bring it back to the dull ashes it once was. I want to be wanted, I want to give someone my all, but it scars me. love is like giving someone a loaded gun and pointing it at your heart and trusting that person not to pull the trigger. Its terrifying. The fear of abonnement stands like a stone wall blocking my dream of happiness, I try and brake it down, burn through it with my flam, but it is stone, hard cold stone, sometimes I can’t burn through so I just sit there behind that wall, waiting for love, waiting to be wanted till my knight comes for me, the spark that relights my flame, his addictive laugh and bright white smile, my spark, the person who loves me, who makes me feel wanted. The only black-haired boy who can relight my dull flame.