Compliments

Ava is a happy person. Just because she is now doesn’t mean she always was at some point. She never cared about how she looked or what people thought of her. She enjoyed life and who she is because looks don’t define who you are.

In the summer of 10th grade she was scrolling through social media where she found a boy who she always thought was good looking. She didn’t know him, but she decided to start messaging him. His name is Jake. Jake never saw her at school but he liked how kind she was through text. They never hang out or anything, because they’re both busy with schoolwork that their teacher gave them over the break. He always complimented how pretty she is in pictures. Summer is ending and they’re both excited to see each other.

When school came, they both were nervous to meet up. In the morning, Ava dressed how she usually did. Baggy clothing and no makeup. She was very excited. This was like the first time a person seemed to have interest in her. When she went to the kitchen her mom told her “Why do you always go to school looking like a homeless person when you have so much clothing to wear?”

Ava : Why does it matter? I’m going to school to learn.
Mom : Yes, but you’re always looking like a man! At least stand straight and suck in your stomach so you don’t look so fat!

Ava rolls her eyes and takes her breakfast to the bus. Her mom yelled from the kitchen “ And stop eating so much! Give your stomach a break!... Every day she does this! EVERY DAY! Lord help me with this girl!”.

Ava just ignored her mom. She always wondered why her mother had to always say something about how she looks. Usually her dad would defend Ava when they would argue. Her dad didn’t care about how she looked, as long as she was happy. This time her mother’s words really stuck to her head. She wished her dad was there to defend her today, but he passed away by over drinking after he argued with her mom and then crashed into an electricity tower which Ava was also in. Sometimes when Ava gets sad, she wishes that she died in the car crash with her dad so she wouldn’t be stressing about this and just be at peace. She ended up with a huge scar on her face. That was the only thing that bothered her about her appearance. She always blurred it and edited her photos a lot. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea, but she didn’t care since no one at school noticed her, so it didn’t really matter.

Ava arrived at school and was eager to see Jake. She told her friends about it and they laughed at her.

Jess : You really think he’s going to actually like you when he sees you?! You’re like a whole different person online!

Emily : Yeah, you should’ve at least made yourself look better by wearing less baggy clothes. You’re already fat and with those you look like a blob!

Jess: Now you are really gonna scare him. And the scar? C’mon girl think! You should’ve put on makeup to cover your acne at least!

Ava never realized how rude her friends actually were. Maybe because she was desperate to have people to talk to. Ava just stayed quiet and went to class. Lunch time was finally here. She’s going to meet Jake. She happily walked into the patio where she saw him. He saw her and his eyes widened and jaw dropped to the floor. At first he didn’t notice her, but he noticed some features on her face. Ava started to walk towards the table. Jake sprinted, grabbed her hand, and took her to a corner where people couldn’t see them.

Ava : What are you doing?!

Jake : Do you think I really want to be seen talking to you?!

Ava : What do you mean?

Jake : “What do you mean?” Did you see yourself today?! You look like a mess! Do you not care about what people think about you?! No way man! You aren’t the girl in the photos, you’re the complete opposite! I mean c’mon! Making your face smooth would've been fine, but the fact that you edited everything about yourself?! C’mon bruh. In the photos you looked so pretty and skinny, but in person you’re ugly and fat! A monster! I actually feel like throwing up. I don’t want to be seen with, less be with you! Don’t talk to me anymore. You better not tell anyone about us or else!

Jake walked away stomping. Ava just stood there. Shocked. In silence. She didn’t know what to do. She just stood there emotionless. She didn’t know how she managed to walk back to the inside of the school. While walking to the inside she saw her reflection on the windows. She finally saw what people saw. She saw her face and saw her body. Her heart dropped and it stopped beating for a moment. Her reflection started to get distorted and her vision started to get blurry. She ran to the restroom and closed the door. DING DONG. A loud ring blasted in Ava’s ear. The school bell. Not just any school bell, but the end of the school bell. Ava realized that she passed out for the rest of the school day. She quickly  got up and ran to the bus.

When she arrived home her mom was furious about Ava’s absences.

Mom : Where have you been all day?! The school called that you weren’t present for half of your classes! What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Would you mind explaining to me what happened?!

Ava explained what happened in school to her mom. Mom banged her head on the table and started to yell.

Mom : WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU?! WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING?! I’VE BEEN WARNING YOU AND YOU DON’T LISTEN TO ME! NOT ONCE! NOT AT ALL!

I’M ACTUALLY HAPPY THAT HAPPENED! YOU FINALLY SEE HOW DISGUSTING YOU LOOK!

HOW DISGUSTING YOU LOOK. HOW DISGUSTING YOU LOOK. HOW DISGUSTING YOU LOOK.

Ava cursed at mom and raised her voice over her. Mom slapped Ava across the face so hard that Ava’s scar opened a bit.

Mom : GO TO YOUR ROOM! NOW!!!

Ava ran to her room, slammed and locked the door. She tumbled to the floor and cried. She cried. She cried. She Sobbed. When she lifted her head up in front of her was her body mirror. Once again, she looked distorted and terrifying. She looked around her bedroom and saw her family photo hanging on the wall. “What happened to me?!”

Ava, weeping, got the family photo and threw it at the body mirror. When the mirror broke into pieces, her reflection fell apart with the broken glass. Her face and body, tearing apart. It looked like she had died and disappeared from life. A glass piece fell in front of Ava’s foot. It looks so shiny and pretty. When she reached for it her face reflection was terrifying. “Why?”. Ava was about to end everything at that moment, but that's when her stomach growled. She was hungry. She realized she hadn't eaten anything all day. Not even breakfast since she ended up throwing it away after she got down from the bus. That’s where she got the idea. She was going to stop eating.

Weeks have passed and Ava lost weight quickly. She lost one third of what she was. She didn’t even feel the hunger or really realized how she looked because of how depressed she was.

Ava was sent to a therapist for some weeks after the argument with her mom. Today she was finally coming back to school. She put on some makeup and started to wear the clothing that she used to wear that her mom liked. Her mom was so happy. She kissed Ava’s forehead. “Have a wonderful day at school sweetheart!”. Ava got a smile on her face because she finally made her mom proud of her. When Ava arrived at school people complimented how pretty she was. Ava changed style, people complimented how good it is. Ava lost weight, people complimented how perfect her body is. Her friends were cheering for her. 

Jess : Ava did you lose weight? You look so pretty and beautiful now!

Emily : Yeah! You’re literally so perfect now! People are loving you! You’re gonna become so popular!

Ava smiled. “Thank you”. Jake saw Ava and winked at her. Ava felt like crying. She had to change everything about herself to make people love her. 

Ava kept going, going and going for days without eating. She often felt dizzy and felt like killing herself, but she kept reminding herself it’s worth it. For the love people give her, it is all worth it. For strangers, friends and especially mom it was all worth it. Ava looked in the mirror. In Ava’s eyes, she was still “fat”, “ugly” and a “monster”. This helped her keep going with what she was doing, but the fact that people are loving her made Ava smile.

At lunch, Ava was sitting with her friends in the back of the school. There weren't any people there, which her friends thought was nice since they felt like relaxing in a peaceful environment. Ava never got lunch again which was normal for her friends since they also starved themselves to be how they look.So because of that, they also helped to encourage Ava.  Her friends were talking about how perfect their life is and how their families love them and how their mom and dad’s are planning to go on dates or whatever the hell they were talking about. Ava kept zoning out and felt dizzy. She got a horrible pain in her stomach. She tried to hide it, but it became obvious that there was something wrong. Ava started to throw up blood. Non-stop blood was coming out of her mouth. Her friends gagged and runned away. Soon Ava’s eyes shut and saw darkness. 

Ava woke and heard “Beep, Beep, Beep” from the hospital machine that she was connected to. She made a loud sigh and her mom who was next to her stood up.

Mom : Ava, you finally woke up. I was scared for you.

Ava : Mommy? What… happened? Why am I here?
Mom : Ava, you passed out in school. They found you in a closet where your clothes were covered in blood.

Ava : What? But I don’t remember being in a closet? Jess and Emily?
Mom : Ava. I am sorry to tell you this but.. Emily and Jess carried you to a closet where they locked you in so no one would see you. If you stayed a little longer there you could’ve died Ava. If it wasn’t for a janitor that went inside to get a mop to clean, you would’ve not been here.

Ava : Wait why? Why would they do that to me? We were becoming close friends?

Mom : Well the school caught them in the cameras, and now they’re questioning them why they did this to you. They’re also getting suspended from school since they hid you and not told anyone about you which could’ve ended in a bad way. But the good thing is that you’re alive Ava! The doctor came in and told Ava that she had an eating disorder and that she was very sick. He gave her mom medicine and told her instructions on how to help Ava.

Ava’s mom hugged her. Ava felt like slapping her mom back since how rude she was to her, but this is the first time that her mom showed that she loved her and cared for her. 

Mom : Please forgive me baby. I am so sorry how rude I’ve been to you your whole life. I am sorry that I never showed that I cared for you or loved you. Please forgive me Ava.

Ava : I forgive you mom. 

They both hugged and cried.

When Ava got home, her mom made Ava’s favorite food. Chicken alfredo! Ava and her mom were bonding, laughing and having fun. Ava never experienced this with her mom her whole life. She was actually enjoying time with her mother. 

Ava : Mom.

Mom : Yes Ava?
Ava : If you noticed me changing and losing weight, why didn’t you stop me?

Mom put her fork down and stared at her plate.” Because when I was your age I went through the same thing you went through. Ava, I didn’t want you to be unhappy with what people say about you and your body. Like how I was when I was little. So when I saw you changing, I got so happy. I knew that, yes you didn’t like starving yourself, but in the end you were going to be happy with how you look just like how I was when I was your age. I couldn’t help it. I am so sorry Ava, please forgive me”.

Ava just stayed quiet and saw her plate. 

Mom : You want more pasta Ava? It's so delicious!

Ava nodded and smiled. For the rest of the night they played cardboard games and had so much fun!

The next day at school, Ava dressed how she used to dress in baggy clothing and no makeup. She felt free and happy. Her mom gave her a hug and told her to have a wonderful day at school. At lunch, Ava was sitting alone when 2 girls came to her and sat with her.

“Hi!” one of the girls said. “My name is Brianna!”. “Hello Brianna,” said Ava, smiling. “My name is Valerie,” said the other girl. “Hi Valerie.''. 

“We're both so sorry for what happened,” said Brianna.

Valerie : Yeah. We just wanted to let you know that you’re perfect just the way you are and that you don’t need to change anything about yourself. We want to be friends with you. You seem really cool! We love your style.

Ava : Thank you so much, and yes please! Sit down!
The new group were laughing and having so much fun. Ava was happy to have real friends. Even though they just hung out for a few minutes, Ava felt like she already knew them by how kind they were. Ava had a bright smile on her face. Ava is happy.

Unfortunately, this isn’t how things actually turned out to be.

Ava was just hallucinating and daydreaming all of this on her mind while she was crying and slowly dying on the floor. Ava was still in her bedroom. With the broken family photo, broken body mirror, broken glass shards and her broken heart. Ava had actually cut her wrist with the broken glass from the mirror when she threw her photo at it. Even though Ava was crying and felt so much pain, she was happy that she was finally leaving. She hopes she can see her dad again. She pictured her and her dad playing on the playground when she was little. So many memories started to appear in her head. Ava had a smile on her face. She was laughing while tears fell out of her eyes. BOOM BOOM BOOM. Ava’s mom was banging on her door screaming Ava’s name to open it.

There in her bedroom, Ava dies.