It has been about 6 months since I've danced. The last time I danced was center stage- I was the lead in this show, I had the most beautiful wardrobe imaginable. My costume was an all white handmade tutu with feathers on the bottom and on my head piece. My hair was in the most perfect bun the hairdressers had ever created. My makeup was done to complement the elegance of the dance. It was the middle of the dance when something rolled on the stage. I didn’t see it at the moment so I had no time to move it when I landed on it my foot had cracked. The lights turned off. The curtains were closed. My eyes were full of tears. My foot was throbbing in pain. The medics were running to the stage. I was being escorted out. My under study is ready in costume. The last thing I remember seeing was the doors of the ambulance close, my mom in tears holding my hand, everything else was just a blur. I woke up in the hospital. My whole foot wrapped up-up to the length of my ankle. I could see my mom outside on the phone with someone. As the doctor walked in my heart stopped as I anxiously waited for him to give me loads of bad news. The doctor explained my foot had been seriously overworked until it just broke. Just as I was going to ask him something he continued to talk. “Your foot needs surgery to fully recover”. I felt my eyes start to water, every ballerina knew that once you were injured you would never be able to ever dance the same. It was a well known fact that most ballerinas couldn’t even gain the confidence to dance again. If I wouldn’t be able to dance again I truly don’t know if I’ll ever be happy again. After that day it was non-stop resting, non-stop check up appointments, non-stop “get better cards” from the ballet department at school, non-stop stares from everyone. I would say that the states were the least of my problems, it was all the whispers, people saying “i heard she broke it in front of college scouts” “well I heard she already had problems with the foot before dancing”. Everyone had something to say about what had happened. I find it funny that I never once heard something even close to what had actually happened. All those weeks I told myself to ignore all the comments I heard. I usually liked the attention I received; on stage or not, after my injury I hated all the attention, I hated walking into class with crutches every morning, I hated everyone offering to help me carry my things, I hated all the sympathy from all the teachers, coaches, dance instructors, even my friends. Although I knew this wouldn’t change until I got better I let it be, I had to learn how to not care what was happening around me. My injury happened in February, my foot took about 4 months (and many painful physical therapy sessions) to fully recover. When my doctor told me I was cleared to dance I thought I’d feel happier. Instead I felt scared, I felt like I'd never be able to gain the confidence I once had. When I was cleared I was already out for summer, but this summer was different. Usually I'd go to dance camp but this year was obviously different. Instead my mom would take me to the dance studio where I helped some little girls on their form rather than rehearse myself. Everyday after helping the girls they would ask me to show them something more advanced which I obviously avoided. I knew my foot would be able to handle whatever step I wanted it to but it was just that mentality of not being able to do it that messed my confidence up. Since the dance studio was next door to my current job I just walked over for my shift. I’ve worked at this cafe since the start of the summer, and I was really enjoying it. It had a chill vibe which I really liked and was a hot spot for teens opposed to parents everywhere. All was going well at work until one day Karley Brooke showed up. Karley had always been my understudy in every production I was in, although it wasn’t my choice she always hated me for it. I think it was all rooted from the fact that we were heavily compared growing up. Ever since she became the star she has never left me alone. “Oh look at that; I told you all failures end up bussing tables.” Karley said walking into the cafe in her pink leotard under her gray sweatpants. I just shook it off and went on to take dirty dishes to the sink in the kitchen “come on guerita give me a break” said Antonio the dishwasher AKA my best friend. Me and Antonio were neighborhood best friends and he was even the one who got me a job here. “Ya basta de estar nomás sentado te van a regañar” I told him while walking back to the tables to continue bussing them. Just as I was walking to the table I bumped into a customer causing them to spill their drink on me. “I am so sorry ma’am” I nicely told the customer. “What can I say Autumn you’ve been really clumsy lately haven’t you?” she said laughing in my face along with her friends. I tried to shake it off but she just knew how to push my buttons. “You might want to clean that up before someone slips on it,” Karley said, mocking me. I could feel the tears in my eyes starting to form, but I wasn’t going to let her win. After that last comment she left and I was forced to clean up the mess. “Antonio I just don’t know if I'll dance the same. What if I mess up again and make my foot worse?” I told him as we were getting ready to close the cafe. “Guerita but the doctor cleared you, you can walk, you did your physical therapy, why are you so afraid?” he asked me with the most sincere voice. “I’m not sure Ant, I guess I'm just scared I’ll never get back to the level I was at. What if dancing isn’t my ticket to happiness anymore?” I answered him with a sad expression on my face. “It’s your decision at the end of the day, but you’ll never be back at the level you were at if you never try,” he said while picking up his things to get ready to leave. After that we both left. When I got home I couldn’t stop thinking about what Antonio had said he wasn’t wrong though, if I never build back the strength I’d obviously never get back to where I was. I couldn’t sleep all night the whole time I was replaying my injury in my head, everything I went through, everything I had to overcome. That morning I got dressed and decided it was time. I was going to dance. When I got to the studio I started by stretching and making sure there was nothing on the floor that I could trip on. I started easy with getting comfortable with the bar again. I started with a plie then I moved on to do releve. The harder the steps the more comfortable I was getting again. After a couple hours I wanted to try doing my routine from the recital. I started out fine but when it came to the jump I couldn’t bring myself to do it, I was no longer confident in my jumps. I was about to leave when I thought back to what Antonio had said. I stayed and stayed focused on practicing leaps which would soon help me get confident in the bigger jumps soon. I had been at the studio for a couple hours and after I got home and showered I checked my phone. I had a text from Ant. I opened the message and saw a link to a post, when I opened it I was shocked. It was an open audition for a show the local theater was doing. The Lilypad Theater produced these shows every year and people from literally everywhere came to audition and watch the show. I had always wanted to audition for a part but the age requirement was 16. I had finally turned 16 this year so I had a chance to audition. I was honestly very surprised at how excited I got when I realized I could audition. I checked the information and saw the auditions were next week. This was a chance to redeem myself. I had to take it. The next few days I would spend all day in the studio. I didn't care how long it took. I was going to nail my audition. Throughout the week I got closer to doing the full jumps Antonio had been a big part of helping by lifting me up to mimic the action of jumping by myself. The audition had come closer than expected; there was now only one day left till the audition. I was not as confident in my jumps as I was everything else but I knew I could pull off an audition without it. The morning of the audition it felt like I had a pit in my stomach. I was literally a nervous wreck but I wasn’t going to back out especially not after all the work Antonio and I had put in. This is the best I’ve felt about dancing in a while and I truly believed nothing would tear me down at this point. The theater was full. Buns, pink, tutus, dance moms, every stereotypical thing about ballet was there on one stage. When I was backstage stretching I heard someone laughing so I turned out of curiosity. When I turned around I saw Karley; she was walking towards me with a smirk on her face and her friends by her side. “Well, well, well, if it isn't a little miss Autumn. Do you really think you have a chance now? I just hope you finally learned how to land on your feet.” Karley said mockingly to me. “You shouldn’t have come, we all know Karley is finally getting the lead,” Karley’s friend said to my face. “No it’s okay Sam, maybe she’ll end up my understudy,” Karley said laughing as she walked away. At times I really felt sad for Karley. Her parents always pushed her to be the best and would always get mad when she was only an understudy. I tried to not let them get into my head. A couple hours went by and it was finally my turn to go in and audition. I was nervous as many instructors had different preferences; some liked tricks others didn’t, some liked loads of makeup; others didn’t, there were many things I could do that wouldn’t meet the criteria the instructors had. Inside I knew I would hate myself if I didn’t do a jump, if I didn’t do it my audition would just be bland, basic child like almost. Walking on that stage I knew what I had to do. The music played and I started my routine. I felt like it was going amazing. There was this passion I felt that ignited in me as soon as I started the routine. All week I had been overthinking about going for the jump, but at the moment I just went for it. I jumped and landed perfectly, I felt ecstatic. I finished up my audition and was filled with accomplishment. This was an important moment because I felt like I didn’t need the part to be happy, I felt happy and proud that I grew the courage to go on there and do the routine. Soon everyone had finished auditioning and the judges had talked. They announced the smaller parts and people moaned and groaned, while others were professional and thanked the judges for the opportunity. I still haven't heard my name so it was just as nerve wracking. The judges had finally revealed their lead in the show. “And this year's lead goes to Karley Brooke. Thank you everyone for participating and tickets will be 10% off for everyone who came out tonight”. The judge said. I heard Karley scream in happiness. If autumn from last year heard this she’d be so disappointed. But surprisingly I was calm and happy, I had proved that I was able to bounce back after an injury and I was genuinely happy for Karley and wished her well. I would obviously keep dancing to get back to where I was but I felt like for once there wasn’t constant pressure on me. As I was waiting to congratulate Karley a judge came up to me. “Autumn is it?” “Yes ma’am?” I asked genuinely confused what she would say. “I just want to say great performance considering your injury” she told me. It was as she read my mind as she proceeded to say “I was there in february when it happened, I hope you know not a lot of people can come back from an injury with the amount of confidence you did.” “well thank you ma’am it was truly as journey but i’m glad I had people by my side to help me get here today” I told her getting ready to leave, “Actually Autumn I wanted to offer you a spot in the academy, I see real potential in you and I think we can shape you to be a great ballerina” she asked with a smile. “ Yes I'd love to, but I will get back to you after I talk about it with my parents” “yes, yes take your time and if they have any questions feel free to have them call me” She told me as she handed me her business card. I couldn’t believe this, I felt so happy that I was able to come and get this grand opportunity. For a while in the last couple months I thought that I’d never dance again. I thought that it’d never fill that passion I once had. My mom always says that we have to pursue our happiness and I truly feel like I'm on the road of pursuing my happiness.