“An ocean could not explain the distance we have traveled.” Immigrants are brave, courageous, and determined. Their journey is so much more than the distance that they actually travel to get to their destination. The journey starts from the moment that they decide to immigrate to a new place and never truly ends. The decision to leave their home and comfort zone and go to a new place, the process of packing up and saying goodbye, and then the process of adjusting to a new place are all bigger parts of the journey. I realized this when interviewing my good friend, Monica who immigrated to America from China when she was nine years old. She was my childhood friend and although I did not know it at the time, she was facing many challenges and obstacles in her new home. However, these experiences were satisfying and made her into the person she is too. She is strong, successful, and passionate about immigration due to her experience. 

When Monica was nine years old, her parents broke the news to her that they would be immigrating to America from Beijing, China. Monica was a student in China and had many friends. This news was devastating and ultimately terrifying to hear. She immediately started panicking about the move and all the people she would be leaving behind. Her heart especially hurt when she thought about leaving her grandparents behind when they were the ones who basically raised her. This is a common part of Chinese culture. She could not fathom leaving them behind and this thought gave her.intense anxiety and fear for months before the actual move. Monica explained that she would have nightmares about the move and basically changed her whole personality once she heard this news. She was not excited about the opportunity and even though her parents tried to sell it to her and make it sound appealing, the loss of the life she always knew was too heartbreaking. Monica explained that thinking about immigrating to America was actually worse than the move itself. The unknown was a scary thing and saying goodbye was weighing on her heart like cement blocks. 

When it came time for the move, Monica said her goodbyes and boarded the plane. She decided that she was going to be stoic and protect her heart. She felt almost numb as she left her life behind. Her grandparents were not as calm and they cried very much which is a memory that still haunts her today. On the plane ride, at her young age, Monica made the decision to make the best of the move. She knew there was no turning back and there was nothing she could do. She was a child and this is what her parents felt was best for her so she could either cry and be miserable or change her thinking and try her best to make it a positive experience. That is the mindset that  Monica continued to have throughout her life. It is an admirable way of living and it is what made her immigration experience a positive one that ultimately ended in success. However, despite her mindset, Monica still faced many challenges in America. The biggest challenge was being the new kid in a fourth grade classroom in Queens, New York. Children had already had their groups of friends and many did not think there was room for an immigrant girl who did not speak English. The kids in her class were not mean to her but they were not welcoming either. She spent many years alone and feeling like an outsider. I did not attend school with Monica but we lived on the same block. I was her first friend in America and she explained how just having one friend made a big difference in the loneliness she felt.  I was too young to understand the impact I had on being friends with Monica but it was very eye opening to hear this from her. Monica faced challenges throughout highschool as well and struggled to assimilate to the culture. She wanted to be American but also felt like she was rejecting her heritage and grandparents at the same time. She explained that it was an inner battle that she experienced for years. The hard times did not stop just because she had made a friend.  

Although the months leading up to immigrating and the days that followed were extremely difficult for Monica, there were many benefits too. Now that Monica is older, she understands that her parents made the right decision by leaving China and immigrating to America. Monica was able to get a great elementary, highschool, and now college education. The academic opportunities that America provided were much greater than those in China. Monica’s family also greatly succeeded financially in America. Her father’s business became very successful and they were able to live that would not have been possible. Due to her father’s financial success, her grandparents were eventually able to come live in America too. She explained that once they arrived, she really felt complete even though their immigration journey had just begun. She felt that her grandparent’s arrival had really allowed her to hold true to her roots and remind her of the culture that she had left behind. Now, Monica just began college at the University of Delaware where she got a full scholarship. She is studying to become a dentist. Monica hopes to be as successful as her father and hopes to offer her children a life like hers. 

Although Monica immigrated to America from China at only nine years old, her journey lasted way past that.  From hearing Monica’s story, it is clear that the true challenge is way more complex than the actual process of immigrating. It takes days, weeks, and years to adjust to a new culture. However, the hardest part of Monica’s journey were the goodbyes. The goodbyes to her friends, grandparents, and her life as she knew it. However, it all worked out in the end. Monica was reunited with her grandparents, her father’s business was successful, and she was provided with many opportunities that she would never have had in China. Monica explained that she knows she is very lucky and not everyone’s experience is as positive as hers. However, no matter the outcome, Monica knows first hand the pain that comes from goodbyes. Even if those goodbyes open up new opportunities, there is still an unfathomable heart ache that comes from leaving. Overcoming this pain and choosing joy, is a challenge way bigger than the distance that she left behind.