I Kissed the Boy Who Hit Me | Teen Ink

I Kissed the Boy Who Hit Me MAG

May 19, 2009
By BreeLynne27 GOLD, Carmel, Indiana
BreeLynne27 GOLD, Carmel, Indiana
15 articles 0 photos 13 comments

I really didn't see it coming. His hand, angry and rough and quick as lightning, connected with my jaw as he smacked me across the face. Hard. My neck snapped to the side, my chin pointed downward, and that's where I stayed for at least a full minute. I was afraid to move, afraid to breathe.

Oh, my God. I'm dreaming. Please tell me this isn't real.

Hot tears clung to my lashes, but I refused to let myself cry. I focused on the burning sensation in my cheek, too afraid to shift in my seat. My face was on fire.

I swallowed hard, watching the scenery as it passed: the green grass and the yellow sun, the black blurring of mailboxes and rooftops. Except for the steady hum of the air conditioner, there was dead silence.

I tried to focus on anything, anything but the boy next to me, breathing heavily. Anything except the car speeding up as he stepped on the accelerator, driving more recklessly with every dip and curve in the road.

See the sidewalks, a steady stream of white concrete against the jet black road. See the treetops, so severely contrasting the painted cerulean sky. See the fire hydrant, bright like the stars that shine above the lake at night. See–

“This isn't my fault, Caitlin,” he said quietly. I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye. His hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white.

“What?” I was surprised to find that my voice was soft and steady, though my hands were shaking and twisting in my lap.

“You left me waiting there for an hour. What was I supposed to think?”

“It was an honest mistake,” I whispered, so quietly that I could barely hear myself. “I lost track of time.”

He glanced at me, his jaw clenched so hard I thought he might shatter his teeth. “Yeah, sure.”

I hesitated, not knowing what he wanted me to do. I opened my mouth, and I watched his hands, and I made sure they didn't come anywhere near me. “I'm telling the truth,” I said finally, quietly. “I was doing exactly what I told you I'd be doing … working on my story for the paper.”

“Of course you were.”

“Why don't you trust me?”

“Who was that guy you were with?”

I sighed, knowing I could never win. My cheek hurt so much, worse than when I fell of my bike and skinned my elbows and knees. It hurt worse than the time I cut my hand on a fence and needed six stitches, or the time I fell on a flower pot and sliced my knee open. It hurt because he made me hurt. It hurt because he wanted me to hurt.

“I … I just–”

“Spit it out, Caitlin!”

I fell back against the seat, feeling more defeated than I'd ever felt in my life. It was like reaching the top step just to find more stairs. It would have been easier to think, I'm sure, if my face didn't have a heartbeat.

“Why are you being so mean to me?” It just slipped out, and Aaron looked bewildered. He didn't answer right away, or even as we pulled into my neighborhood. By the time he'd parked in my driveway, we were both completely silent.

“I'm sorry, Cait,” he said. “That was really stupid; I don't know what came over me.”

I let my eyes meet his for the first time that afternoon. “I don't either.”

He shut the car off and twisted in his seat to face me. His hand slid over my forehead, and down through my hair, and finally settled around my neck. He pulled me toward him, gently, and kissed the cheek that still ached. Now it ached with yearning.

It's strange, I suppose, how someone can treat you so wrong and you can still want him so much. I wanted to feel his lips on me again, brushing away the hurt and the pain. I wanted his touch. The school parking lot suddenly felt a million years away.

“That will never happen again,” he assured me, kissing me softly. “I swear I will never do that again.”

And I believed him.

The author's comments:
Please comment. Good and bad critiques are welcome. Thanks!!

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This article has 181 comments.

on Nov. 18 2010 at 7:54 pm
meganwagner21 PLATINUM, Old Bridge, New Jersey
42 articles 0 photos 139 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes good things have to fall apart so better things can fall together." -Marilyn Monroe
"Nobody can go back and make a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." -Maria Robinson

its gud...altho this is a lot like an excerpt from dreamland by sarah dessen. the main's characters name is caitlin, spelled the same, and her boyfriend abuses her also. its a weird coincidence

on Nov. 5 2010 at 9:44 pm
writingchick GOLD, Huntington, Indiana
11 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Faith is taking another step without seeing the entire staircase."

You wrote this just like it could happen in real life, perfectly. Very well done!!

on Nov. 5 2010 at 6:41 pm
red-head BRONZE, Belmont, New York
1 article 0 photos 25 comments
I........... have no words and that is rare. good job.

FunFace GOLD said...
on Oct. 29 2010 at 5:56 pm
FunFace GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
11 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Z is for zed which is for fred which is for harry potter which is for couldron, DUH" -My friend and I

i agreed with the person who said you should make it more suspensful (sorry mr/ms. unknown i didnt check ur pen name)  however i think that it was still and amazing story. I love your style and i felt like i was there, watching it happen. 

Reigyn said...
on Oct. 14 2010 at 6:33 pm
Reigyn, Toronto, Other
0 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Dance like no one is watching, love like you'll never be hurt,sing like no one is listening,and live like it's heaven on earth."- William Purkey
As we struggle to make sense of things, life looks on in repose. ~Author Unknown

whoa! really intense.

i'm really glad you chose to do a piece like this. I think it's a topic we don't let ourselves talk about or think about and I'm really happy that you chose to right about it.

you did a fantastic job too.

on Oct. 14 2010 at 6:09 pm
MadisonReneeJane GOLD, Norman, Oklahoma
12 articles 5 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy. - Jim Rohn

The whole time I read this all I thought was, "This has to be from Dreamland." It was so similar I don't believe it was you're own. I can see if you wanted to do an intereptation of it, but that would be under fan fiction and you have to say if it is or not.

One scene in Dreamland is when she gets out of her photography class and Rogerson sees her with a guy and hits her because of jelousey, so yes, the scene was very similar to the book. I've read Dreamland almost 10 times and the only difference I saw in this piece was the boyfriend's name.


on Oct. 14 2010 at 3:18 pm
niko_timmy BRONZE, ---, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
the Battle of the Sexes with never be over, there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

that was really really good. one of my favorites by far

Tiara BRONZE said...
on Oct. 14 2010 at 9:06 am
Tiara BRONZE, Princess Anne, Maryland
3 articles 6 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't look back,..but look beyond''.

I think youn should have made it more suspensful than him apologizing, like you should have made him seemed even meaner and let her take up for herself

on Oct. 1 2010 at 8:21 pm
elmosoreo SILVER, Paducah, Kentucky
8 articles 2 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn’t mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you....

Wow...powerful piece ^.^ It was amazing..left the end implying that it did infact happen again..I loved this piece... :) Way To Go

sierra-BABI said...
on Sep. 22 2010 at 11:23 am
omg girl can you spell and justin bieber is not your name thanks and have a nice day...

Amaria said...
on Sep. 19 2010 at 5:13 pm
wow!! that was great i felt the emotion you put into this picece...:)

Fires SILVER said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 9:57 pm
Fires SILVER, Eagle Pass, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
Follow your heart always!

I loved it!! You are a great writer

Camille Carr said...
on Aug. 9 2010 at 9:25 am
Camille Carr, Wilmington, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
This reiterates everything about an abusive relationship I have ever learned. His rage, her fear, then his apology, her belief. You captured everything so perfectly and eloquently I felt like I was sitting in the backseat of the car watching this unfold.

on Aug. 4 2010 at 11:25 am
wild-free BRONZE, Billerica, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All good things are wild and free." - Henry David Thoreau

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Albus Dumbledore

Wow, this was amazing! So heart-wrenching yet so honest. This is the classic story of abusive boyfriends but the way you wrote it made it feel so personal. You really did a great job, keep it up!

If you ever get the chance could you take a look at my story Gone With the Sun? 

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 9:50 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

It's amazing. Deep and detailed. I love it. One of my favorites on here. :D

Please take a look at my work! It would mean a lot! :D Comment, too, please! :)

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 9:49 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

They always do.

on Jul. 21 2010 at 9:05 am
EmilyM7793 PLATINUM, Waterboro, Maine
24 articles 5 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you can't handle at my worst, then you sure don't deserve me at my best" ~ Marilyn Monroe

She didn't copy it from Dreamland. Sure, there are some similarities, but a lot of stories about dating abuse are similar, simply because the patterns are often the same. The guy's name in Dreamland was Rogerson, not Aaron, and so what if her main character's name was Caitlin? When I read her story, I didn't even think about Dreamland until I scrolled down to the comments.

on Jul. 21 2010 at 9:00 am
EmilyM7793 PLATINUM, Waterboro, Maine
24 articles 5 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you can't handle at my worst, then you sure don't deserve me at my best" ~ Marilyn Monroe

Oh my god, I loved this piece so much, you're an amazing writer! :)

on Jul. 18 2010 at 7:54 pm
Mo_Madness BRONZE, Kensington, Maryland
1 article 2 photos 1 comment
I really loved your piece. It's really similar to Sarah Dessen's Dreamland. Frankly, I thought it was even better. :)

on Jul. 18 2010 at 3:05 am
crzybookworm BRONZE, Highland, California
2 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only thing to fear is fear itself."

I went through something very similar to this and just got out of the relationship a few months ago....You had all the feelings nailed. Great job.