I Won't Be Home For Dinner | Teen Ink

I Won't Be Home For Dinner

December 17, 2009
By Zero_K DIAMOND, Moosic, Pennsylvania
Zero_K DIAMOND, Moosic, Pennsylvania
83 articles 0 photos 435 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's no fun if you're not insane, otherwise you grow up to be an accountant." -Moi

The man stands perfectly straight and still, his clear blue eyes staring into middle distance, like one deep in thought. The wind plays with his fine black hair, and a section of his white, button-down shirt has come loose and is flapping in the breeze. His hands are stiff at his sides, his fingers clenched into fists. He doesn’t seem to be aware of where he is, who he is.

In the square below, people gaze unabashedly upward toward the darkening sky, to the man standing on the roof, some horrified, some just morbidly curious, like senior citizens flipping first to the obituaries in their morning paper to see who they’ve outlived. There is one face in the midst of onlookers that the man ought to have recognized. A woman a single, dark braid hanging to the middle of her back and anguish stamped clearly all over her pallid features.

But the man sees no one. He is alone with his thoughts. Thoughts of the note, scrawled in his messy, hurried script, hanging on the refrigerator with a Coca-Cola magnet.

Have you ever thought that if you walked far enough you’d eventually end up somewhere else? Not just from point A to point B, but to a whole other plane of existence? Have you ever thought eventually you’ll step off of the treadmill and actually go somewhere for once? Everything’s so beige. The world is beige. It never changes! I’m tired of this treadmill. Goodbye, I love you.

P.S. I won’t be home for dinner.

The man steps forward, his feet hanging out over the precipice. The woman, the one with the long, dark braid, run forward, tears streaming down her face.

The man, as if he senses her there, looks down. The shock registers slowly on his face, and he opens his mouth, as if to cry out to her, but he’s already falling. With his arms held out, he looks like a strange bird, taking off with broken wings.

The woman runs forward, as if to catch him. But she doesn’t make it.

She kneels, and gathers up the broken feathers in her arms.

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This article has 11 comments.

on Mar. 25 2013 at 3:52 pm
PrincessClaire BRONZE, Fayetteville, North Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
don't do me do your hair

NO!!!! I don't want him to die!!!!! I'm gonna go cry now!!! Great story though, you're a good writer. Please check out/rate/comment on mine! XXX-Claire

on Oct. 10 2011 at 2:10 am
TheyCallMeAdam BRONZE, Bhubaneswar, Other
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Roses are red violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.

Well-written piece of flash fiction. Good choice of vocab and presentation.

My only suggestion will be to polish it further, to correct the typos/mistakes that have crept in. For example-

'The woman, the one with the long, dark braid, runs forward, tears streaming down her face.'

'The man, as if he sensing her there(not required), looks down'

3.5/5 stars.

on Oct. 2 2011 at 8:53 pm
It mentions how he looks like a broken bird in the earlier paragraph, so it's a continued metaphor.

on Aug. 19 2011 at 6:52 pm
I love the story, but I don't understand the part at the end about the feathers.

on Jul. 28 2011 at 5:25 am
KristinHopkins8 SILVER, Aspen, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die"

really touching. i feel like crying. speaks deeply to the heart.

on Jun. 20 2011 at 10:20 am
TripleZee BRONZE, Boones Mill, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you do the common things of life in an uncommon way, you earn the attention of the world. - Dr. George Washington Carver
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little something extra. ;)

Beautifulllll! Keep writing! Great use of words... tear jerker. 5 stars :)

on Feb. 24 2011 at 8:23 pm
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

I am extremely touched...you really know how to let out your thoughts and emotions and then inject it into all of us wanting to read a brilliant story such as yours <3 gorgeous please read my work as well?? Thank you :D

Trulie GOLD said...
on Feb. 24 2011 at 7:44 pm
Trulie GOLD, Beltsville, Maryland
10 articles 10 photos 51 comments
that was deep.

Chanchie GOLD said...
on Nov. 28 2010 at 7:35 am
Chanchie GOLD, Trivandrum, Other
17 articles 4 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
A writer who writes without zest, without gusto, without fun, without love is only half a writer.
-Ray Bradbury

beautiful :')

on Jun. 5 2010 at 6:49 pm
Love_with_no_Heart BRONZE, San Antonio, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 13 comments
wow is a simple word. but honestly thats all i can say... its beautiful as much as it is sad. i wanted to cry when he opened his mouth to shout but realized he was already falling... keep up the good work

on Jun. 5 2010 at 3:25 pm
starxoxo23 PLATINUM, New Hampshire, New Hampshire
21 articles 0 photos 97 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."
- Alan Alda

this is so sad and so beautiful. an amazing, heartbreaking piece. keep on writing!