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Near Death Experience
“Is she going to live?”
“Miss, please back up.”
“Let me see her!”
“Miss, stay here!”
“No, no, I need to be with her in surgery,”
“I’m sorry, no family in the room at this time.”
“Swoosh”
“Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…”
“Look! She’s coming to!”
“I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to, I didn’t see her. The brakes locked up and I couldn’t control the car.”
“Why was she even there?”
“When I open my eyes I want everybody to remain quiet.”
“Fine.” “Okay.” “K’.”
“Where am I and why can’t I see? Why am I in this UGLY hospital gown? I was on my way to get a latte? Can I have a latte now? Where is my phone? Hello? Are you paying attention to me?”
“Yes, we are paying attention to you. You fainted; In the middle of the crosswalk.”
“Fainted?”
“You’re blood sugar was extremely low. You are lucky you don’t have diabetes or something because you would be dead. You are lucky that Joe was able to slow down enough that he didn’t hit you that hard! When did you last eat?”
“Eat? Uh…”
“Jillian! You need to eat. Have you been starving yourself? I knew this would happen if you moved out.”
“I’m not starving myself. I just am a little short on money.”
“Swoosh,”
“Clip, clap…”
“Everyone out…”
“Shuffle, shuffle.”
“Jillian, right? Well Jillian what have you been eating ? You are very skinny.”
“I don’t really eat anything, I drink water and protein shakes. Why can’t I see anything?!”
“Well… we tried to reconstruct your face and it is wrapped in bandages.”
“My whole face is covered in bandages? And what do you mean tried?”
“Yes, your face structure was, how can I say this lightly, ruined?”
“Wait… So I am UGLY?”
“Beauty is in the eye of the behold-“
“I don’t care if you say I am beautiful… Unwrap my head! I want to see myself”
“That is not a good idea.”
“I don’t care if it is a good idea it is my idea and that’s what I want.”
“Unwrap me!”
“Uh okay…”
“Now I need a mirror.”
“Your surgery was only a little while ago.”
“So?”
“Your face hasn’t healed yet,”
“I don’t care. I always get what I want. Now give me a mirror.”
“No.”
“I’ll get it myself.”
“Swoosh,”
“You are light headed please stay laying down.
“Don’t you think that you should have mention that before I fell off the guerney thing and fell?”
“You wouldn’t have listened to me anyway!”
“Fine.”
“I’m sorry. Here.”
“What the heck did you freaks do to my face!?”
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