“What the hell do you want?” This is my normal tactic for answering the phone. Now, before you judge me and tell everyone what a freak I am, let me explain. My sister is my best friend (I don’t have any other friends), both my sister and I are seventeen year old high school dropouts, and the parental units died when we were 12. For these reasons, no one calls my cell phone except people trying to sell things, so I don’t mind scaring them away. See? I am in no way a freak. When it comes to answering the phone, there is a rule for each situation. If it’s a wrong number, I swear at them and tell them to get their eyes checked; if it’s a salesperson, I pretend to be interested in the product, offer tons of money, get them really excited, then hang up on them after calling them names for actually believing me; and if the caller knows me… well they never know me.
“Is this Ms. Ashleigh Miller?” He knows me? Impossible! There must be another Ashleigh Miller. I’ll just play along with this nutcase.
“What can I do you for chump?”
“Is your sister Blaze Miller?” Oh, she probably got caught shoplifting again. Supposedly if she got caught again, there would be a fine involved. But let’s see if I can sweet talk her way out of this.
“Look man. Under Blaze’s intimidating outer features is a young, sweet girl who is only trying to make her way in this cruel world or ours. She didn’t mean any harm she was just-“
“Ms. Ashleigh Miller, this is no time for jokes. My name is Officer Pete and your sister was in a serious car accident. She is in the emergency room as we speak. Your number was the only one in her contacts so I thought it would be best to call you.” Car accident… oh my goodness… Blaze.
“I’m sorry officer. What hospital are you at?”
“High Mountain Hospital.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thanks for everything officer.” Blaze… my best friend… my life… my sister! I jumped in the car with nothing on my mind but a destination. I think I ran two red lights, but none of that matters in this situation. Poor Blaze, she must be so scared! She shouldn’t have been alone… I was supposed to be in that car.
Earlier in the day, Blaze and I decided it was time for some new clothes. We were going to drive down to Salvation Army together and scrounge for something. When it came time to go, we got into a disagreement over getting enough money to pay the rent and Blaze left without me. It was a horrible fight. We threw things, yelled things we didn’t mean, and cried over what never was. When I see Blaze I’ll apologize and clear everything up. Both of us know that without each other, we never would have made it this far.
I pulled into the hospital parking lot and opened the car door before the car even stopped. In fact, I think I left the door open while I was frantically trying to hurry into the hospital. For you, Blaze. For you.
“Which room is Blaze Miller in?” The receptionist looked up at me and started to flip through her notes. “Please ma’am, this is an emergency. Blaze Miller, I need to find Blaze Miller!”
“Room 243 miss. Thank you for your patience.” I rushed through the hallways tuning out all the people in my way telling me to slow down. I opened the door to room 243 just as a doctor was stepping out. We collided and he put his arms around my shoulders leading me out of the room.
“Blaze! Blaze I’m right here! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I should have been with you. Blaze!” I tried to see inside the room but the doctor held me down and shut the door. My eyes were stinging with tears and my head felt heavy.
“Ms. Ashleigh Miller.” The doctor said my name softly and I could barely hear it over my sniffling. I looked into his eyes searching for hope… for Blaze. I found nothing.
“Blaze.” It came out of my mouth in a whisper.
“I’m truly sorry Ashleigh. Blaze passed away in the ER soon after she arrived.” His words were making me dizzy. Everything was fading in and out of focus. He had to be lying to me. Blaze was a fighter and she would not have given up that easily.
“What happened?” It was all I could manage to get out.
“Her car was hit by a drunk driver. She did nothing wrong.” I knew he was trying but I couldn’t help it.
“She did nothing wrong? She did nothing wrong! Then why did it happen to her? If she did nothing wrong then she did not deserve this!” I screamed at him. I didn’t care that we were getting weird looks, I just screamed. When he stepped backwards to recover from the blow, I ran. I took off back the way I came relying on trying to retrace my steps. Back in the car, I cried. I cried for myself, for Blaze, and for our life together. I started the car with no destination in mind, but just to drive. I thought about Blaze.
Her favorite food was pizza with extra cheese draping the slice. Her favorite shirt was two sizes two big and hung on her like a dress. He favorite saying was ‘What they don’t know can’t hurt them.’ Her hair was so brown it looked black. She had three piercings in each ear but thought that piercing any other body part was disgusting. Her favorite smell was gooey, home- made chocolate chip cookies. She fell off her bike when she was five years old and broke her arm. She was my best friend. We lived for each other. We fought before she left the house. The last thing I ever said to her was ‘No one will miss you…’
Blaze deserved better. I should have been with her in the car and maybe this could have been avoided. But it wasn’t and it’s my fault. My fate should have been with Blaze. I should be with Blaze now. I can be with Blaze now. I will be with Blaze now.
Looking around I realized I had driven to the pier. I knew what I had to do and I wasn’t scared, I deserved it. Putting all my weight on the gas pedal, I took a long drive off of a short pier. But I promise it’s alright. No one will miss me…