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Memories
As the sun shone through the grimy windows, I pressed my fingers against the graffiti covered wall as the ghosts of memory whispered in my ears. That day when Ms. Alice taught us our alphabet, taught us to read and write. One memory shone above all, like a cursed diamond in the mud: the day the devils invaded my haven. They came, in black suits and piercing stares, to glare down at us and inspect every corner of the school. Our room was last, and, with its bright green, peeling paint on the cracked walls, seemed to be the one they disapproved of the most. We all hid behind our mother, the teacher, seeking refuge from the tall, dark strangers that were in our happy, safe classroom. It was my last day there, and I never returned until today.
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This article has 25 comments.
But anyway, great job and keep writing!
The only exception I would point out is that (correct me if I'm wrong) it should be "the ghosts of memories whispered..." not "memory".
Other than that, everything is very cleverly written.
Wow. This is really good. And I really liked the fact that it was all inspired from a random picture--that's not something a lot of people can do.
The only thing I would suggest is about the first sentence "As the sun shone through the grimy windows...in my ears". Read the sentence (not the abbreviated version I put on here. The full one :P) out loud. Particulary the "As the sun...as the ghosts...". It's kind of a run-on sentence, and it's a little strange. I don't really think I can give you a suggestions, as you'd have to change around your word choice, not just add punctuation, so it's up for interperetation by you.
Great job with this! I really love the way you pulled such a story out of this photo. :D
