Save Me | Teen Ink

Save Me

May 8, 2011
By Odessa_Sterling00 DIAMOND, No, Missouri
Odessa_Sterling00 DIAMOND, No, Missouri
87 articles 108 photos 966 comments

Favorite Quote:
All gave some, some gave all. -War Veterans headstone.

My mom held my hand and we walked down the street, to fast. I felt like I was half running half being dragged. The top of my feet had burns from dragging on the sidewalk.

“Danielle, please hurry,” my mother urged me on. The sun was rising, and I saw a few people outside their houses, more cars drove by.

“Mommy, you slow down,” I said in a weak voice. I had been asleep, warm in my princess bed, when my mommy, who I hadn’t seen in months, snuck in and woke me. She dressed me quickly and took me outside. Mommy had surgery on her arm long ago, before I was born, so she couldn’t carry me. She and daddy hated each other.

“Where are we going,” I asked after she hadn’t slowed down.

“Grandma’s house,” she said pulling me across the street. I had been to my grandma’s house a few times, before mommy had left my house.

“I want to go home, to daddy.” I must have said something wrong, because she jerked my arm up making me yelp.

“No,” she said sternly. I tried to not let her drag me silently to Grandma’s house. By the time we were there, my arm ached and the tops of my feet were bleeding.

“Mommy, my feet hurt,” I pointed at the mess on my feet, wishing I had worn my tennis shoes daddy had bought me. Her face changed from frozen to sad.

“I’m sorry, I was in to much of a hurry,” she knelt down besides me on the front porch. “Let’s go inside and clean this up.” She herded me inside.

She sat me on the kitchen table and gently clean my feet, at first it hurt only a little, then she got a bottle of spray stuff and sprayed the cuts. I cried really hard, because that stuff burned.

“It’s ok, it will stop soon,” she said patting my back and hugging me tightly. I cried into her hair and shoulder. After a few minutes it stopped, and she put a giant band-aid on it.

“Where is Grandma?” I said sniffling and wiping my face.

“At the store, getting your favorite food.” My mom said smiling.

“I am hungry,” I said looking at my bandaged feet. She helped me down and sat me in the living room on the couch. She gave me the TV remote and told me to find something to watch. I couldn’t find the power button, so I just looked around the room. The shrill sound of the phone ringing made me jump and I realized I had fallen asleep. My mommy answered it, and instantly started yelling. I couldn’t understand her. She slammed the phone down on the hook. She dashed over to me, picked me and my flip flops up, and hurried to the front door.

“Where are we going, now?” I asked. She put me in the car, my old car seat was in the back. She barely strapped me up before jumping in the front and speeding out of there.

“Mommy, put your seat belt on,” I said pointing at it. She just shook her head and turned onto a big road with more cars on it. We passed big stores and restaurants. I saw the red light- green light thingy up ahead. The light was yellow.

“Mommy, yellow!” I called out, a game we used to play. She ignored me, and sped right out across it, the red light flashing. I remember her scream and throw her hands back and then a loud crash hurt my ears, but somehow in all of that, I fell asleep, or something. I remember feeling like I was tumbling around in darkness, like I was in the washing machine.

“Mommy?” I asked quietly, but my voice didn’t work. Suddenly, I saw a white dot, off in the distance.

“Mommy?” I asked again, but still no sound. I was still spinning and rolling around in space. I wanted to throw up, but I had nothing in me, since I ate no breakfast. The white light came to me and surrounded me. I felt safe, and warm. My feet didn’t hurt anymore, and I wasn’t scared. I didn’t think about mommy and daddy, and I forgot all about the loud crash and my mommy acting funny, because this white light was so much nicer.

I snuck up the steps of Jason’s house. The lights were off, and the sun would be coming up soon. I made my way to Danielle’s room. I pushed the door open silently and crept in. She lay tangled in her blankets, sprawled out on her bed. I carefully made sure I didn’t step on any toys,

“Danielle, honey, wake up.” I shook her gently, speaking quietly. She rubbed her eyes and sat up.

“Mommy?” She seemed confused. I hadn’t seen her in 2 and ½ months.

“Yeah, c’mon, we’re going to go somewhere.” I said pulling her up. My surgery from tearing a muscle in my arm was working against me right now. I put clothes on her quickly. The unlatching t-shirt and little sweat pants looked odd with the to un-matching flip flops I put on her. She groggily followed me downstairs and outside without saying a word.

In the fresh morning air, I could see the glow in the east where the sun would soon show it’s self. We walked down the side walk. I knew it wouldn’t be long before Jason woke up, found her, gone and called the police or something. I walked briskly down the sidewalk, practically dragging her along. She was panting like a dog. After a few blocks we were half way there.

“Danielle, please hurry,” I begged quietly.

“Mommy, you slow down,” she replied. I couldn’t slow, not with so little time left.

“Where are we going?” She asked, her voice a little hoarse.

“Grandma’s house,” I said seeing her street only a block away. Must hurry, he’ll be up soon. I can’t be on the streets then.

“I want to go home, to daddy,” she sounded like she would start bawling in a moment. I jerked her forward, not meaning to hurt her.

“No,” I said sternly, I would never take her back there willingly. I wish I had parked my car around the corner, but of course I wasn’t thinking straight.

As we walked up onto the front porch, Danielle tapped me on the leg.

“Mommy, my feet hurt,” she point down. Her feet were scraped from being dragged, they were dirty and bleeding, I felt like crying.

“I’m sorry, I was in to much of a hurry,” I knelt down, examining them closer. “Let’s go inside and get these cleaned up.” I pushed open the door and let her inside.

I sat her on the table and dabbed around her cuts with a wash cloth cleaning as well as I could. I hurried into the downstairs bathroom and grabbed the big bandages and infection fighting spray.

I sprayed both feet, and she started crying.

“It’ll be ok,” I hugged her tightly, the feeling of motherly-ness kicking in. I patted her back and held her like that till she calmed down.

“Where is Grandma?” She asked wiping her face with her hands and sniffling. My mother had left on a trip to see my sister a week ago, I had been staying her with her. She would never have approved of this.

“At the store, buying all your favorite foods,” I blurted out, not thinking again.

“I am hungry,” Danielle studied her feet. I sat her down in the living room and gave her the remote.

“Try to find something to watch,” I said walking back into the kitchen. I never heard the TV turn on. I made my self a glass of ice water and gulped it down. I stood by the sink, a nauseous feeling swept over me.

The phone attached to the wall started ringing, making me jump. I picked it up, and the man on the other side of the line scared me.

“Wendy, bring her back,” Jason’s voice sounded dark.

“No!” I yelled. “I will never take her back. NO! No, no, no!” I was yelling. I slammed the phone down, and bolted into the living room.

I scooped up Danielle and her shoes and ran outside to my car. I practically threw her into her seat. I barely got her car seat buckled before slamming her door and jumping in the drivers seat. I didn’t even think about my own.

I sped out of the drive way, driving towards the main high way, where I could get away to any where I wanted.

“Mommy, put your seat belt on.” Danielle said calmly. I ignored her and concentrated on the road. I was going way over speed limit.

I reached the bigger road, leading towards the high way I need. I saw the street light up ahead.

“I’ll make it,” I thought to myself, pushing on the accelerator.

“Mommy, yellow,” Danielle cried from the back seat. We used to always call out street light colors, but I couldn’t speak at the moment. Right before I crossed the line the light flashed red. Time slowed down for me. I saw the head lights, and I remember throwing my hands back, screaming. The crash of metal on metal squealed and we spun around.

“Save me,” I though to myself, then everything went black.

The author's comments:
I heard a lot about split parents kidnapping their children back and forth so I wrote my own story about. Please comment.

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This article has 5 comments.

on Aug. 7 2011 at 9:08 am
Odessa_Sterling00 DIAMOND, No, Missouri
87 articles 108 photos 966 comments

Favorite Quote:
All gave some, some gave all. -War Veterans headstone.

Ok, so the story is and mom kidnaps her baby daughter (Danielle) and as they are trying to get away the get in a car crash and they BOTH die.  And why would I put Danielle's perspective of what happened after she died??? That would just drag the story on.  I like writing SHORT stories, not into that novel crap.

Alexa19 said...
on Jun. 22 2011 at 10:28 pm
Alexa19, Blaine, Minnesota
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And live like it's heaven on Earth

I really enjoyed this! Great points of view!

on Jun. 17 2011 at 5:43 pm
ibadancer13 BRONZE, Urbandale, Iowa
4 articles 0 photos 16 comments
I really liked how you showed the different perspectives! It helped me to really feel like I was a part of the story and to connect with the characters.

on Jun. 16 2011 at 5:57 pm
MidnightWriter SILVER, Ontario, Other
6 articles 0 photos 225 comments

Favorite Quote:
Writers are a less dangerous version of the career criminal. Everywhere they go, they see the potential for the perfect crime. The difference is that writers have better self control.

You know how to tell a story right. I enjoyed the two different perspectives.

on Jun. 15 2011 at 7:17 am
bigdreamsbigheart PLATINUM, Ypsilanti, Michigan
35 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\"When I stand before god I want to have no talent left so I can say,\\\"I used everything you gave me\\\"\\\"

You did a really good job with this! :)

I think it's really good. But I think you could change point of views again at the end. Like put Danielle's perspective of what happened after that.

Also I don't know who died. I'm thinking the mom did, and Danielle just blacked out. That would make it a good story.

Also I think at the end you could put the dad in there more. You could do so much expanding on this story! It will make the story so much better than it is if you wanted too.

Let me know if you made any changes to it though, or let me know what you think about the feedback I gave you. My email is

It would be cool to help eachother with our stories and help edit them. SO I have some ideas if you want to email me. :) thanks for commenting on my story too!