He says: I hate him. She says: It’s not really his fault. He asks: Whose side are you on, anyway? She says: Nobody’s side. I’m not on anybody’s side. He states: You’re on his side. You always are. She says: Just say you’re sorry. He says: No. She asks: What did he even do to make you say that? He says: You’ll just side with him. She sighs: No, you idiot. I’m your friend. He says: But you’re his girlfriend. She says: And I was your friend first. Tell me. He stiffens: No. She says: Just apologize to him. He protests: He should be apologizing to me. I didn’t do anything. She reminds: You called him f***ing a**hole in three different languages. He says: So? She says: I didn’t even know you spoke Japanese. He mutters: There’s a lot you don’t know about me. She glares: I’m trying to help you, here. He apologizes: I know. Sorry. She says: Just—why did you call him an a**hole? He grumps: He deserved it. She shrugs: Maybe so, but he’s too proud to admit it without you apologizing first. He says: I’m not apologizing. She huffs: Fine! Bite off your nose to spite your face. He says: Don’t even try to tell me he’s not an a**hole. She hesitates: He’s my boyfriend, as you said. He says: So? He’s my brother. He’s still an a**hole. She tries: If you tell me what he did, I’ll go talk to him. He says: I don’t want your help. She says: You’ve got it anyway. He says: I hate him. She frowns: Haven’t we been over this? He snorts: I was reinforcing my point. She says: Your point would hold up better if you told me why you hate him this time. He says: It’s the same reason as last time. She points out: You didn’t tell me then either. He grumps: And I don’t plan on telling you now. She wheedles: Come on. You can tell me anything. He says: Not this. She prompts: Try me. Why do you hate him?
He mutters: You… She says: What? He sighs: Never mind. She says: No, I really didn’t hear what you said. He shrinks: I said, never mind. She says: If you were going to say ‘you won’t understand’, you’re wrong. He says: Just forget about it. She says: But… He begs: Please. She insists: I want to know. He repeats: Please. She hesitates: I guess. He breathes: Thanks. She says: I’m your friend. He hurts: Yeah. I know. She insists: You can trust me with anything. He lies: I know. She reassures: You’ll always be my friend. He can’t change that. He nods: Yeah. She hopes: Are we good? He lies again: We’re good.