A Life Almost Gone | Teen Ink

A Life Almost Gone

March 7, 2012
By seanspiveyjr BRONZE, Poughkeepsie, New York
seanspiveyjr BRONZE, Poughkeepsie, New York
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All human beings are also dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together."
Jack Kerouac


It was as if we weren’t meant to be. As quickly as it had begun, it ended. I didn’t know how to take her departure nor did I know why she departed. It had been a romance of two weeks and in those two weeks, I found my first love; I found the one person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I was ready to love her forever and eternity but instead, she’s gone.
Her name was Destini. I always joked around with myself and said that it was my destiny to meet her and for her to meet me. We were destined to be with each other. Truth is, this joke I told myself, I believed every word of it. I first saw her at the old railroad tracks; she was sitting on a hill staring out at the ocean. She had these cut up jeans and a somewhat baggy shirt on. Her hair was out; you could see the beauty in her brown hair. It wasn’t very long, just past her shoulders, but it fit her very well. I guess she was watching the sunset or something because she was lost in thought. She didn’t even hear me come over to her and sit down next to her.
I was optimistic for so long but that slowly began to fade once I knew for sure that I would never see her again. My will to go on slowly began to go away. I couldn’t see myself without her; without her touch or that smile she always gave me. It had been 52 days since I last met her. It’s funny how I counted each day it had been since I first seen her sitting at the old railroad track. That was something she had a habit of doing; she told me the exact number of days of something and not an estimate. She never said, “almost two weeks” she would say “12 days.” It was one of the things I loved most about her.
That’s when something on the news caught my eye. The news was on and they were talking about how police discovered a body in the woods. The body was identified as a teenage girl named Destini Anderson.


I tried saying hello, but I didn’t receive a response. So, I tapped her on the shoulder. She didn’t jump or scream; she just turned her head and gave me the warmest smile ever. “Hi,” she said, “I’m Destini Anderson; Destini with an ‘I’.”
“It’s nice to meet you Destini, with an ‘I’; my name James.” She gave me that smile again and my heart melted. She turned back to whatever she was looking at. “If you don’t mind me asking, what are you looking at?”
“I’m looking at the future.” Her response through me off guard; I didn’t know what to say. She looked at me and said, “You don’t believe me, do you? It’s okay, most people don’t. Look.” She touched my hand and my heartbeat sky rocketed. I looked to where she was pointing and my heart skipped a beat. My eyes widened at what I saw. It was me; I was sitting in my room with a gun in my hand. There were tears streaming down my face as I put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger.
“What kind of sick trick is this?!” My heart was racing. Why was she playing these mind games with me? Was she trying to make me go crazy? Was this one of those tricks that manipulates the mind into doing something bad?
“I told you before; I am looking into the future. This is you in 53 days; this is where your future ends. I cannot see pass this moment in your life.”
“But, why; why am I going to kill myself?”
“In the next 13 days you and I will fall in love. It will be the greatest time of both our lives but on the 14th day, I will disappear. I will be gone from your life from that day on. You will be devastated that I am gone. You will find out 39 days later that I was killed in a car accident. You will take your father’s gun and commit suicide.”
“If you know all of this, why don’t you stop it from happening?”
“Because tomorrow morning, you and I will forget this part of the conversation ever took place. We will remember meeting each other but all the stuff about the future will be forgotten. It isn’t our jobs to alter reality because if we do, bad things could happen.”
“I still don’t understand this. How do you know what’s going to happen tomorrow?”
“I looked into the future. Tomorrow, we will remember nothing of the conversation we are having right now.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I just met one of the beautiful girls I have ever seen. Now she’s telling me that she’s going to die in a car accident and I’m going to commit suicide. “I want you to promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Do not kill yourself. Try your hardest to remember the words I’m telling you when the time comes. You shouldn’t kill yourself over somebody like me; no matter how much you fall in love with me. Just remember that I would want you to move on with your life and it would make me feel bad if I find out you killed yourself because of me.’
“I can’t make any promises with that. Not because I don’t want to but it’s dang near impossible for me to remember something I’m destined to forget.” She smiled and that’s how the conversation ended. “I’ll meet you here tomorrow after I get out of school.”
“I can’t wait.” She flashed a winning smile at me, got up, and left.


I stood there with the cold gun in my hand; my finger on the trigger. It felt heavier than I thought it would. It didn’t feel right in my hands; I didn’t even know how to use it. I would put it to my head and then bring it back down to my waist. Could I do it? Could I take my own life? Why was I going to take my life? It was all because Destini was gone; I would never see Destini’s beautiful smile ever again. I would never see the love of my life. I closed my eyes, put the gun to my head and squeezed the trigger.
But I didn’t die; the gun didn’t even go off. When I opened my eyes, the gun was no longer in my hands. It sat on my bed on the other side of the room. “How did that happen?” I said aloud. That’s when I heard her voice.
“Remember what I said…” The voice was faint but I knew it was hers. I could never mistake it. I looked around the room but nobody was there. Of course nobody was there. I went over to my bed, picked up the gun and put it back in the box my father hid it in. I don’t know what it was but something inside me told me not to do it, she wouldn’t this…


The author's comments:
Life isn't worth letting go over losing one person...

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