Josh stepped out of the car, noticing his breath on the freezing night air. There was ice on the ground beneath him and he used caution while making his way to the front bumper of his parents new SUV. How could this have happened? Why hadn’t he been more careful? He knew he should have asked before using his parent’s car, but his judgment had been in the wrong place that night.
He could no longer stare at the cartoonish-sized dent on the far left side of the bumper, and the demolished tail light. He began to make his way down the pathway to the front door, still extremely cautious of the ice on the ground. It would only make things worse to get an injury. He approached the front door, took the keys out of his pocket and searched in the darkness for the correct one. After a few failed attempts, the door was unlocked and he slowly opened it. The door let out a slight squeal and squeak, which made him nervous, but he continued forward and entered the house on his tiptoes.
All of a sudden, a light flipped on in the kitchen. His heart skipped a beat. A rush of emotion flooded through his body as he tried to figure out a way to explain all of this to whichever one of his parents awaited him in the kitchen. He heard footsteps coming towards him, and not the heavy flow footsteps of his father, but rather the quick and harsh footsteps that he easily recognized as his mother. The intensity rose as he walked toward his mother, waiting to hear what she had to say about him coming home at such a late hour in the night.
“Where in the hell were you?” his mother asked in a shrill whisper.
“I told you I was going over to Grace’s,” he shot back at her. This type of response was typical for Josh. He always became extremely defensive at any sign of an argument coming, even though he knew that he had messed up.
“It’s 2 O’clock! And how do I even know you were at your friend’s house? You never told me where you were going.”
“Oh, so now I’m a liar. That’s great. It’s awesome to know I have your trust.” He snapped.
“Don’t pull this with me; you should have called. Or at least told me where you were going.”
“It’s just like you to forget something I told you. You never listen to me when I tell you something,” Josh yelled, almost holding back tears. This had turned into so much more than coming home late. He had been holding back these feelings from his mom for a long time now. She never even had enough time to care about where he was. She always was working now since she picked up the part-time job after his Dad got laid off. Even when they did talk, she was always too worried about the bills or too tired to really invest in a conversation.
“Is that what you think? That I don’t listen to you?” She lowered her voice, feeling a little more offended. She knew that she hadn’t been there emotionally for her son. She just hadn’t known that he was so upset about it.
“Well I’m just saying, you never have time for me anymore. The things I say don’t seem to interest you at all.” Tears were now falling down his face. He didn’t like to cry in front of his mom, he was embarrassed. He walked over to the kitchen table and sunk his head into his arms. His mother walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. She sat down at the chair next to him.
“I want to be there for you, Josh; I really do. And I care about you and your life so much, but right now we are really struggling. My head is in fifty different places; please try to understand that.”
Josh didn’t say anything. He just sat there with his head buried under his hands on the kitchen table. He was no longer thinking about breaking curfew or the dent on the car. He had an intense feeling of guilt, because he had now upset his mother. He knew that she was struggling to help the family. He shouldn’t have said those things. He lifted his head and looked over at his mom.
“I’m sorry. I know you care about me, and I know you have to work hard to support us.”
There was a long silence, but both Josh and his mother knew that the argument didn’t matter anymore. She leaned over to kiss him on his forehead and began to make her ways to the staircase.
“Mom wait,” said Josh, breaking the pleasant silence. “I have something to tell you, and before you scream at me just know that I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
His mom turned around and took a single step forward.
“Whatever it is, I don’t need to know right now.” She spoke in the calmest voice he had ever heard from her. He could tell that she really didn’t want to get into another fight. She turned around again and walked completely up the stairs and into her bedroom. Josh heard the door close behind her.
He leaned back in his chair and let out what seemed to be the largest sigh of relief that was ever made. This feeling of relief was present on his face. He couldn’t help but give a slight smile. He got up out of his chair, walked over to the light switch, paused for a moment still trying to comprehend the perfect ending of what could have been the most terrible fight with his mother.
He switched the light switch to the off position, watched as the room went completely dark and wondered if things really will get better. He saw the light of the street illuminating the broken tail light of his parents car through the kitchen window and realized that even in the darkness, there was always light to be found.