The terror in his eyes still haunts me. The look of utter hopelessness and despair, looming deep into his soul. At night, his face burns the inside of my eyelids. He is dirty and bruised, with a faint scar above his eyebrow. His hair is deep brown with tight curls. His socks were always too big and his t-shirts always had holes. Almost twenty years later and I can still hear the fear in his voice when he muttered a pitiful â??help me.â?
â??Pin him downâ? Grant yelled. â??I am going to beat the living crap out of youâ? I heard shouts as I made my way over to the growing crowd. A fight! Who doesn't love a good school fight. My anticipation was growing until I reached the circle and saw who was lying on the pavement. Joey.
I have gone to school with Joey since the third grade. His family moved here from California. I remember the whole class was so excited we got a new student. Joey. He was normal, he didn't bother anyone. He has had the same group of friends since middle school. Joey had never been in trouble. I am pretty sure we has even in some upper-level classes. I talked to him every so often. We went friends but we talked. So why was grant holding him in a choke hold, and why was nobody stopping him? Why wasn't I?
â??Youâ??re worthlessâ? Grant yelled, droplets of his saliva spraying Joey. Grant pulls back his arms and slams his fist into Joeyâ??s cheek. The impact brings a gasp to our lips. I want to help. I want to scream but my body is paralyzed. So many people are around. I would look like an idiot. Grant brings his fist back again, only this time his hands meet Joeys stomach, causing Joey to double over in pain. This is when it happens. Joey lifts his head up and his eyes meet mine for what seems like eternity. I open my mouth to yell, but nothing comes out. In what seemed like an instant, Grantâ??s foot met joeys side as he muttered â??Help me.â? I looked away. Everyone was focused on Grant. People were even cheering him on. Why? Why didn't I do anything? Was my Image that important? More important than Joeyâ??s well being?
We never saw Joey again. He was expelled. They whole incident was pinned to him. I will never forgive myself for my cowardice. For years I blamed Grant. Now I know whose fault it truly was. Mine.