The Great Question | Teen Ink

The Great Question

January 20, 2014
By thegreatmorry BRONZE, Holyoke, Massachusetts
thegreatmorry BRONZE, Holyoke, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 18 comments

He sat up, he turned off the alarm, and he removed himself from his bed. Joseph liked his bed: or at least, it was enough for him. Joseph Smith opened up his closet door and removed Tuesdays outfit, he’d started doing this a short while ago; he guessed it was for the best, but also at the same time the monotony of a sort of life that was always the same was mind-numbingly boring.

Joseph changed into his button up, tie, and his dress pants and went through the rest of those tasks that one most accomplish every morning in order to function. Sometime later he realized he’d wasted a good deal of time and knew he must leave, and for the first time he could remember he didn’t want to. “Why?” he wondered “Does it even matter? Why do I feel the need to work a boring job for measly pay when I have nothing? I’m twenty-eight! And I have nothing to show for it! Not even a girlfriend! I haven’t even spoken to my parents for a great deal of time or my sister Sarah for that matter.”

Even though these thoughts protruded into his mind he knew he needed to keep going, so he left his apartment got into his silver (his favorite color) Hyundai Sonata and drove towards work, and on that twenty-minute drive to his workplace he started to think again. He thought to himself “All of my life I’ve done so very little; I moved away from Vermont and to New Jersey for some adventure, but what have I earned? What have I done? Why am I even here in the first place? I was a nothing at the Windham Regional School, I was a nothing at Vermont State University, and I was even a nothing in Stratton; which is hard considering it only has one hundred thirty six people in it.”

Joseph was starting to get angry. All of the things he’d spent so much time trying to forget, or to compensate for were finally boiling over; and now, he knew what he really needed to do. He reached the place where he needed to turn off of the highway for work and in that moment he made a choice that seemed tough but was ultimately inevitable. Joseph just kept driving.

Hours later Joseph was still driving, at some point he had realized that he was wearing his only clothes; he might need new ones soon. One good thing was that he had his wallet, and as an extension of that his bank card, so at least he had his money. He’d skipped his exit four hours before, so it was noon, and Joseph was hungry.

Joseph saw a sign for a diner off of the highway so he got off, it was called Meg’s, so he stopped. He walked into the diner and sat down in an open booth; there were only a few other people in the diner and a waitress with a mole who smelled faintly of cigarette smoke came over to him. He wished he’d gotten the other waitress; she was fairly good looking in all honesty, and his current waitress just made him want to never eat again. “You gonna order or what, son?” said Ms. Mole “I ain’t got all a’ the day.” she startled me; I guess I should’ve looked at the menu. “Um…I’ll have…toast,” said Joseph nervously “And a coffee?”
Ms. Mole then said “You askin’ or tellin’ me?” (Or Mrs. For all he knew, “There could be a Mr. Mole”) he thought and chuckled to himself. Joseph said to Ms. Mole “I’m telling, thank you.” Ms. Mole walked away and Joseph sat there in the dim lit diner which smelled slightly of mildew. Just a few minutes later the bell attached to the door rang and Joseph looked up.

At that moment a woman walked in; no older than thirty, and she glanced around the diner with a cool and calm expression that seemed to claim everything they landed on until her eyes rested on Joseph and after just a moment of hesitation, almost undetectable, she sauntered over and sat down across from him. “Hey,” she said with an amiable and undoubtedly playful expression on her face; you aren’t from around here are ya?” Joseph was a bit scared; he wasn’t usually this scared when he met new people; he wasn’t some anti-socialite or something, but he was definitely going through a lot. He steeled himself and said “That sign on the highway brought me on.” the girl looked up “What sign on the highway?” and then with an angrier look on her face stood and shouted “Greg!”

A tall man wearing an apron walked out of the kitchen “What in God’s name is it now Jane?” Jane looked up and said “How could you put a sign up on the highway?” to which Greg retorted “trying to bring in business!” Jane just got a sour look on her face and said “if this place becomes some God forsaken tourist trap I will have your head!” and Greg just said “Then who’ll make your bacon?” to which Jane responded “I’ll still have your hands. Speaking of which; make me the usual” and Greg smiled and said “You got it honey.”

For the first time since Jane single-handedly took control over the establishment she finally spoke to him “So, what’s your name?” Joseph, who was now very intimidated said “I’m Joseph Smith, and I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you’re Jane.” he was actually amazed that he could keep a steady voice throughout that statement. “You go by Joe?” asked Jane and Joe said “Yeah, I do,” which was a lie since he never had, not even as a kid. “Alright Joe,” said Jane “What, besides the highway sign that is, brought you here.”

Joe looked up and met Jane and said “I’m on a road trip of sorts,” said Joseph to which Jane replied “To where?” and Joe looked up to respond but found himself at a loss for words; he thought to himself “Where am I going? When did I stop planning to head back after blowing off some steam and just telling my boss that I had the twenty-four hour flu? What am I even trying to find?” Jane reinforced the question by saying “Any time now Joe, ”so he looked at her in the eye then and said to her “I don’t know where I am going, I left my home to find myself, and I went also to find a reason why.” And Jane looked up at Joe with a worried look on her face and said “What are you trying to find out the reason of?” And Joe thought about that one too “Why are we here Jane? What’s the point of going through all of a life’s pain and suffering? What reward is there? How can I find out?”

Saying that shocked even him. When had that realization been made? Is that what he really wanted? Was the fact that he though, and said, it make it true? Would he be able to even follow up on that, or was he just talking big for a new and confident girl who’d sat next to him for no good reason.

“I want to go with you,” just then their food was brought out and without either of us even glancing in its direction he said “Then we should go,” they ate the rest of the food in silence until finally Jane said “What direction are we going to go Joe?” and Joe said “I think towards the coast,” Jane replied “The Eastern?” and Joe said “No, I think I want to go to the West.” Jane wondered aloud “Why the West?” and Joe quipped “They just seem like they got it all figured out.”

They departed a few minutes after finishing leaving to be modest a gracious tip (80%) and Joe asked “Do you want to grab anything from your home?” and Jane was silent for a moment before saying “No, I have a credit card so I have everything I have saved up and I guess I don’t need anything else.” Joe smiled to himself ‘Not even a stuffed animal?” and Jane said “Um…it’s in my purse.” Joe pulled away and they laughed hard and happy for the next few miles. It was the happiest Joe had been, possibly ever.

They slept in the car that night and drove only interrupted by fast-food drive-thrus and one truck stop where they both took much needed showers and bought a few sets of very baggy truck driver like clothing; which Jane seemed none too pleased about but otherwise they continued on their way. On the fifth day of almost straight driving which was done asymmetrically by both of them (mostly Joe) Jane asked Joe “Have you figured out a destination besides the obvious “West” yet?” Joe thought about it for a moment; he had already thought about it a good bit, but now he truly knew “I want to go to Yellowstone I think. Does that sound good to you?”

Jane smiled a smile that was a mixture between half cocky and half sarcastic “Sounds great captain; when do we get there?” Joe responded “Like three days or so I’d say,” Jane just said “Not stopping anywhere of interest along the way?” Joe replied “it’s just easier as a straight shot; I’m not sight-seeing anyways.” Jane had a confused look on her face and said “Then why are you going?” Joe said simply “For some answers.”

Since Joe had “Taken leave” from his job he’d received sixteen phone calls thirteen were from work, two were from his parents, and one was a telemarketer. There were also interestingly enough ten voicemails, but Joe didn’t care; he knew he was fired, but it didn’t matter to him anymore. Nothing really seemed to matter anymore. The only thing he regretted was not responding to his parent’s message, but he just had to let everything go for a while.

They were roughly eighteen hours away from Yellowstone, and Joe just wished the answers were there. The whole idea of a purpose has always been a struggle for man, some look at God for the answers, and some just believe we are an accident caused by science. Joe didn’t know but he really needed to know. He just couldn’t handle the prospect of meaninglessness and no sufficient proof had ever been presented to him. Maybe it never would be, but Joe was so determined to find it. It seems that humans are always looking for answers, but what they don’t realize is that answers are simultaneously trying to find them.

With just twelve hours left until Yellowstone Joe said to Jane “How could you just leave your hometown so abruptly?” Jane looked a bit glum when she said “How could you?” Joe just replied “I believe I asked first,” and Jane looked at Joe who was finishing up a six hour driving streak which made him look like death when she said “I left for the same reason you did. My life lacks meaning, so I left to find the world’s beauty. I don’t have a job anyways; all of my money came from my parents and it’s not like I have a boyfriend or anything.

Joe thought about that and said “Are your parents rich?” and Jane just had a vacant look in her eyes when she said “They were rich, and now they sleep in some very rich dirt.” Joe didn’t say anything else for a while before he said “When I go back I won’t have much left; definitely not a job, and there is a chance I’ll be evicted from my apartment. Jane looked worried when she said “Are you nervous?” and Joe just said the truth “No, none of that kind of thing seems even real anymore, so it doesn’t hurt me. Yet.”

With six hours to go Jane was driving and Joe had fallen asleep; it was night, and Jane smiled. They’d be there so soon; she knew that there was a chance that they wouldn’t find any answers. In fact it was likely nothing would be found of much importance, but this had been one of the best experiences of her life and she would never trade it away. It was four in the morning then and they would arrive around ten or so. Joe was going to drive in because he’d done so much of the driving that it almost felt right, but Jane wasn’t planning on waking him until around nine or so. He needed the sleep.

Just two hours away from Yellowstone Joe woke up and after a few minutes of general morning grogginess took the wheel and continued their campaign to Yellowstone; they were both so excited that it almost felt like no time at all. Before they knew it they were just ten miles away and Joe didn’t just feel, but almost knew that he would find answers here.

In what seemed like an instant they entered the park and in the same instantaneous fashion they were submerged in what felt like divine beauty. Nothing can describe what it was like in Yellowstone that day. The conditions were perfect and the sun glistened on the trees. The kind of things that made you sort of understand what goes through poets minds when they speak of beauty.

Joe and Jane planned on sleeping on/with blankets in a meadow of some sort in the park. They parked their car and took their backpacks, which they picked up at a truck stop amongst other items for the trip. They planned on spending three nights in Yellowstone; just watching the stars, looking at the plant life, the wildlife, and attempting to find the answer to what they now had started calling “The Great Question.”

They hiked for an hour the first day into the woods doing their best to go straight west into the forest. They followed the compass dutifully until they found a small clearing where they immediately collapsed onto the grass and slept. Driving had definitely worn them out and they slept happily for several hours. Jane woke up around ate and woke up Joe. They watched the stars together and made up their own constellations because neither of them knew any of them.

That’s how they spent the first of the three nights that they’d spend in Yellowstone. They slept again that night and smiled because they were happy with where they were and what was happening. That’s the kind of feeling no one can describe but one can only feel. Joe cooked bacon and eggs in the morning and they both ate a hearty breakfast and decided they spend the day hiking through nature trying to answer this “Great Question.”

The found a tree that grew with low branches and climbed it; at the top of the tree, or at least as high as possible. They sat there and wondered and Joe thought about existence and God and everything he’d ever been taught. Joe and Jane did this for two hours before Jane spoke “I’ve reached a conundrum,” and Joe said ‘What it?” Jane then pasted on a thoughtful look and said “If the world has a reason then why is there suffering? Why must pain exist in a world with a divinely influence be forced into the ground by hatred, bigotry, and pain? But of course if that isn’t the case and these things are just random the how did it all come to be, and Joe tell me, what is the point?”

The got out of the tree with these thoughts in mind, they spent the rest of the day talking, thinking, hiking, and eating until they found themselves under the stars a second night and they told stories and laughed and were happy. The kind of happy that makes life worth living. Right before they fell asleep Joe turned his head and looked at Jane and said “I am working on an answer to the point, but I’ll tell you tomorrow because it isn’t perfect yet.

The next morning Jane woke up before Joe and sat there enjoying the morning. Joe woke up and said “Jane, what time is it?” She just shushed him and said “Look, a deer,” And they sat there and watched it move gracefully and at the grass twenty feet away. “Nature is so wonderful,” said Jane and Joe said “Do you want to know what my thoughts are on the point of life Jane?” Jane flashed a cocky smile and said “That’s why I’m here right?”

Joe looked at Jane with a straight face and said “The point of our existence Jane is to live because regardless of pain and suffering, and everything you’ve said living; truly being alive and happy and doing what we’re doing right now is what justifies life and everything. The point is to live Jane; do you understand?” And Jane says “I think that’s the closest we’ll ever come, and it’s enough for me.”

They hiked and laughed and enjoyed nature that day until it was night once again, and in that moment they knew that they truly had lived, and that they had meaning. No matter whom you are you have meaning, you are something, and you can make a difference. They realized that we all live in a world of pain and that the solution to pain is sometimes hard to find, but it is possible, and maybe it’s easier than we’ve previously thought. They realized that happiness can be found in life so simply. Just because it is and will always leave its mark.



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