The chaotic cheers on his wedding day seemed like a distant memory for Marcus, despite the fact it was less than a year ago. It happened on a beautiful sunny day in May and Tanya, his wife-to-be, wore a magnificent white wedding dress that Marcus would never forget. They honeymooned in Italy for a month where (unknowing to them at the time) they conceived a beautiful baby girl who they would name Alexis.
The first months of Tanya’s pregnancy were surprisingly joyous for the both of them. As she liked to say, “Enjoy even the difficult moments of life; you never know if you’ll ever have the same experience again.” Even the last few months were happy times for the new young married couple.
One day in the middle of February, Marcus went out to buy his future daughter some clothes, and when he got to the register with a cart full of shirts, skirts, and pajamas he was overjoyed to tell the teenager who ran the register about his new daughter. To the both of them, it seemed as though nothing bad could possibly happen. Unfortunately for the both of them, they were wrong.
Many weeks later, Tanya’s water broke and Marcus hurriedly drove her to the hospital where she would give birth to Alexis. Marcus squeezed her hand as she screamed and tried her absolute hardest to do what the doctor said and “push!” The whole time, Marcus was whispering words of encouragement into his wife’s ear and soon noticed that something was wrong. The vice grip that Tanya had on Marcus’ sweaty hand was growing weaker; she appeared to be losing consciousness. Distracted by this oddity, Marcus didn’t notice that the doctors in the room had successfully cut the umbilical cord and lifted Alexis from the womb.
Marcus’ emotions of worry and happiness collided in his subconscious and he found himself panicking at the fact that Tanya was no longer moving. The doctor’s turned their attention to her, but no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t save her; Tanya didn’t live through the birth. Marcus sat outside the door in a chair that some of the hospital staff had given him, holding the newborn Alexis in his arms. He was in too much shock to cry, but was looking into Alexis’ bright green eyes. The reality of his wife’s death didn’t truly impact him until that night when he was lying in the hospital bed beside his daughter’s crib. The intensity of his sadness caused him to suddenly burst into tears and wake the baby. Two nurses rushed into the room to assist him with Alexis. They tried to console Marcus, but what they didn’t know was that his world had just collapsed; Tanya meant the world to him and now she was gone.

The following months were some of the hardest in Marcus’ life. His new therapist Joann prescribed him antidepressants that he was to take every night, but they weren’t helping as much as they were supposed to. He attended Tanya’s funeral and was showered with different people’s words of sympathy, but none of it really helped. Most of his time was spent in his apartment with Alexis in his arms as they watched television or listened to soothing music together. The baby was all that Marcus felt he had left, and he was going to do the best in his ability to raise her to be as close to perfect as a person could possibly be.
Waking up in the morning to Alexis crying and then sobbing himself to sleep was becoming a routine for Marcus. However improbable it may have seemed in the past, Marcus was slowing beginning to adjust to being a single father. As the days turned to months and the months turned to years, he learned to cope with his wife’s death. Alexis had taken her first steps and spoken her first words (“hi daddy!”). Life seemed to be looking up.
One day, Marcus thought it would be a good idea to take Alexis for a walk in the park. They arrived, walking hand in hand, and sat down on an old bench in front of the pond. She had managed to entertain herself for while by skipping rocks while Marcus watched, but soon returned to her father’s side and leaned against his shoulder. She turned and looked into his eyes and asked, “Where’s my mommy?”
Alexis had made a few new friends from across the street and had noticed that they all had mothers except her and her curiosity was piqued. Marcus looked for the right words to say as he struggled to fight back the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes. “Mommy is in heaven sweetheart.”
“Why is she there?”
“Because God saw how amazing and wonderful of a woman she was and he made her one of his angels.” Tears began to streak down his face.
“Why are you sad?”
“I’m not sad silly, I’m happy. You know you’re the best little girl I could ever ask for, right?”
She wrapped her arms around him and they sat there for what felt like an eternity on that small park bench. The sun began to set and Marcus knew that they should head home, but Alexis was asleep on his arm. Instead of waking her from her gentle nap, he just closed his eyes and cherished the moment.
Tanya watched from joy up in heaven at the sight of her husband sitting on a part bench with their beautiful daughter sleeping beside him. It was the most amazing sight she’d ever seen.
The sun had set and yet Alexis was still asleep. Marcus gently picked her up and walked home with her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and Marcus was the happiest he had ever been in his life. If he had chosen to wake her up earlier, he would never have this beautiful experience. After all, he may never have the same experience again.
He quietly unlocked the door to his apartment and walked in. He noticed that he had left the living room light on, but he was so full of joy that he couldn’t care less. He tip-toed into Alexis’ room and gently placed her in the bright pink bed he’d bought her just a couple weeks ago. Marcus grabbed the folded blanket that was on the edge of her bed and draped it over her with as little noise as possible to avoid waking her up. Tears began to form as he whispered the words “goodnight my little angel,” and kissed her on the cheek.