When a dog starts chasing a car down the street, it is not for fun. It is because dogs are against the use of fossil fuels. They always attack the mailman because they think he is a government spy. They go to the bathroom outside because they are afraid that their feces will be dumped into the ocean. They eat kids’ homework because they are against cutting down trees for paper. They breath through their mouths because humans polluted the air with bad smells from cars. Dogs bark because they don’t feel like talking, and love to watch humans guess what they are saying. But most of all, dog years are 7 human years, because dogs want to eat chocolate in heaven.