My neighbor's dog dragged itself under our porch
I watched him curl up and shutter his eyes like old film
He dug himself into the raw earth and weeds as insects crawled over his patched fur
He flopped his ears and sagged beneath pine needles
At school my brother left blood in the bathroom stall
He sold his teeth for Adderall
When he got off the bus he grinned pink gums and said he passed chemistry
Two years ago I dropped out of class and gobbled moldy bread to absorb belly-fulls of whiskey
But he still says I'm a good big sister
The boy next door called and whistled for hours until he began to wail
Finally the sun bled into
blue ocean and black space
He wailed like a baby
Our stomachs grumbled loud above the neighbor
And the dog was dead by then
His big brown eyes never shut
Fireflies lit up the gravel roads
our mailbox was stuffed with pictures of lawn mowing services as I clobbered the old mutt with a shovel handle
We ate charred paws and hung blankets over the windows
I told my brother it was a coyote from the backyard woods
shotgun blasted by yours truly
He told me his friend said bodies are stewing in the water tank above the overpass
Floating three hundred feet into the sky
And that the city drinks flesh
It scared me so much I burned six inches of my hair dragging the hind legs out of our oven
Now I smell cancer across my forehead like sweat
Under the cabinet I sat between roach killer and smashed porcelain over my kneecaps
I cleaned my throat with Clorox
I don't remember eating since last month because I
swabbed my carpet for crystals
that make you live forever
At midnight I howled at the moon
holding a bottle of scotch
I barked until the neighborhood lights shined and people yelled and the boy next door called out his dog's name
My brother told me bones were lying on the kitchen tile
He could name them correctly from all he learned in biology
I burped up fur
Tomorrow I'll leave a hound on my neighbors doorstep so he shuts up
Tonight a tail wags in my tummy
And I'll die of thirst before I ever drink the water ever again