No Regrets. Just Redemption | Teen Ink

No Regrets. Just Redemption

August 12, 2015
By NizZzy1 PLATINUM, Arrowsmith, Illinois
NizZzy1 PLATINUM, Arrowsmith, Illinois
40 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Like Moves On
Things Happen
I am my shadow self


When you’re standing on the edge all you can think about is your lives past and the idea that you are the standard of what you are, what you can become, what you were meant to be in life. I’m the little voice in your head that tells you what is right and wrong. I’m your sense of right and wrong. While I can be the good guy in most situations I can also be the demons that you want to hide in your daily life. With that being said lets go along with your existence. You wake up seems easy enough, you spent all night drinking your heart out and crying into your pillow and making it all seem like it was her fault. Do you remember last night? Do you remember how much of a idiot you looked like and still are from last night? No? Oh, this will be fun. You wake up roll your carcass out of bed get up go to the bathroom and stare into the mirror. You look deep into those blue eyes and try to convince yourself its just another day, you can get through it. What your missing is the blood dripping down your nose from the party. Is that lipstick on your neck? If only you remember what you did, what you said, what you did to her last night. I bet you wish you could remember don’t you? Yea no regrets alright. Lets go with the day here, your getting dressed walk into the kitchen your dad’s passed out on the couch sleeping again, moms at work, siblings are at school already. You look at your phone to see what time it is, its eleven already? You can’t think of anything else at the moment just need the whisky to kick start your day. See being the voice inside your head, normally I would already be telling you to drink something legal and that’s good for you like the apple juice you used for shots last night but minus the whisky but like I said earlier Im gonna let you find out what life can do to you when you take it by the horns. You get a text from your bro, he’s got a new fix for you without even thinking you are up and headed that way. Its bright and sunny out and here you are ignoring the day as it goes by you, as you walk down the sidewalk and think of what the new fix could be. You ignore the children playing in the grass over there living life so effortlessly and so ignorant to what life could be for them. It could be the best things for them in life or it could be like you. Hard, rough and worthless. You get to your bros house and you notice the cars are still here from the party last night but you can’t remember than because you were passed out already before the real party started according to him. He saved you some of that white love for you since your dumbness took you out of the game early. You walk through the door and you see the blood on the floor. Your eyes dim for a split second you’re having a flashback courtesy of me and you see a bloody hammer with a bathtub and blonde hair. That's all you see, don't worry youll forget it soon enough. You sit down still wondering about that flashback. What could that mean? Could it perhaps be a clue to last night? Dude hit this noise. You lean down and start sniffing. Typical I give you one bit of information and as soon as you start thinking it could lead to you learning what the hell happened to you. Oh well I know you’ll regret it soon enough. You pick your head up again and you feel sick to your stomach and you walk to the bathroom wanting to throw up. Just wait for it dude, what lies behind that door will make you sick. You open the door and see the body of that pretty girl you were with last night. Shes lying there lifeless, eyes rolled back into her head, the blood barely dry from the head wound from last night. You look in the corner by the sink and see the hammer. Your hands start to tremble, oh god the pieces are all coming together. You can feel the fear of what you have done start to wrap its fingers around your throat. Look at her, look at the pretty face you tried to have your way with last night. And just because she wanted to remain loyal to her boyfriend you took her back here to help her with her dress and you bashed her face in. She wasn’t even that into you. If you weren't so wasted last night you probably could have seen that. You stumble out of the bathroom. Dude whats wrong? You have no answers for the stupidity of your actions. You think you’ll get off easy? You don't even remember her father is the head sheriff in town. You get everything coming you then some more added onto it. Daddy will throw the match on your gasoline smothered body. You don’t want to go to jail? You don’t want to own up to what you did? Go to the roof son. End what you have become. You walk to the third floor of the house, you walk past your lovers room. You take one last look at her room and the pain, remorse, and neglect all kick in. You don’t wanna be here anymore? Your finally standing on the edge again? Only this time you won’t just wake up and dust it off and start again with a new addiction. You end it here its done and gone nobody will know. Nobody will care. Just do it. All you feel is the smooth pavement on the fall down. The last comedown from your last high. God that was a great party last night.


The author's comments:

This peice of writting has alot of meaning to me. The message is you can party as much as you wish but there will always be consequennces for the things that you do. Party on my good people. Don't over do it and try things that arent good for you and you know will mess you and the ones you care about up. 


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