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Stuck in my head
Like being stuck underwater, drowning, waiting for someone to save me. "Help""Help" "Help" I scream. No one hears, no one knows, I'm panicking inside. My bones are trembling. It's all in my head, it's like I'm stuck in my head, waiting to explode. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, and another breath. Still I'm starting to faint, it's like there's a war in my head, all I hear is my thoughts back and fourth back and fourth. It's like a long run on sentence, or a never ending line. "Emily" Emily" "Emily" my friend calls out. Is she really my friend probably not, I don't know, I hope so life's so confusing, everyone hates me.... "I've been calling you for like five minutes". If only she knew the war in my head, no one does, no one understands. I start to cry but I hate the questions people ask, "Why are you crying", "Are you okay", "do you want to talk". I don't know why I'm crying, I just am. I'm not fine, I'm crying. I don't want to talk, you wouldn't understand my head, I just want someone to tell me it'll be alright. I don't cry anymore to avoid the questions, it's like I'm numb but my brains still tingling. I feel like when you have a foot that fell asleep. It tingles and you can't feel anything but it also stings when you try to use it. It's never in my head, it's physical and emotional, it's like a sport being played inside my head that cause my outside to become weak. People think it's crazy, but they wouldn't understand the pain, darkness and panic that anxiety causes. I'm crazy but I'm not. I'm crazy but I'm not. I'm crazy but I'm not.
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This is my everyday life, I have anxiety so I always like to share awareness of it, I'm trying writing a book and this is going to be my first chapter