Mind of a lost soul.

In the lifetime that I’ve lived I’ve heard people call someone mad. You know, as in they need mental help kind of mad. However in my opinion madness is quite a relative term. It just comes down to who has who locked in what cage. Then I hear people call each other crazy or insane. When I hear things like this I laugh because I find it funny how people just assume they know what true insanity is. Have you ever had that moment where you just have an urge to hurt someone really, really badly? That isn’t insanity. That is hate. Have you ever felt the need to cause someone pain for no reason? That is still hate. Hate is something that is inbred and is a natural feeling that can come from nowhere. Insanity is not an illness or something that happens at random. It’s something that you have to let in. It’s like a room of light and there’s only one door. Except on the opposite side of that door isn’t anything but darkness. Keep in mind I’m phrasing it like this to make sure you understand, this isn’t what it’s really like. You sit there in that room of light, doing lots of things. But one day you take a look around the room that we’ll call Life. Now as you look around and at your Life you slowly take a look at the door. You begin to wonder what would happen if I were to open that door that seems to have no light. Does Life exist behind that door as well? You turn around again to take another look at Life when you see a door that wasn’t there before. Unlike the door that seems to have no light. Behind the door that has light coming from underneath you hear crying and lots of sobbing. You feel as if you should open that door to see if you can help whoever is feeling so bad. As you move to approach that door you feel a cold chill and you stop. Now here is where you have to make your choice. For those of you reading I will tell you what is behind the door of crying. That is reality. Right now you are hearing what will happen to you if you open that door. Granted it won’t last forever but it will happen. If you can manage to make it through the tough times then you could make something for yourself, but there is no guarantee that it will happen. Behind the other door lays insanity if you couldn’t figure it out by now. Now what happens if you open that is random and comes down to what you feel and how strong you are in mind and spirit. Let’s say you open reality. You look out and you see laughter and fun and a good gentle life. Say that you decide to go down that path and and live it. As you enter the real world you suddenly find everything to be a dark, heartless, and painful world. You can’t seem to get a grasp on it. You’re freaking out, you can’t breath, it feels like you’re drowning. How long has it been? Days? Months? Years? All you know is that it seems like time has gone by too fast. You’re married, have a kid, a steady job, and a good home. Yet every day it seems it’s the same routine, same fears, same joy, all the same thing day after day with the threat of death around every corner. And yet you are now apart of this reality and can not escape it. Now the other path is to take the door that leads to insanity. You enter it and step into a world of dark. Then the dark starts to clear and you see the same world that the other people who take the world of reality door. Except you see more than everybody else around you. You understand more than everyone else. You are capable of understanding on an almost godlike level. I could go on and on about what you gain from opening the door to insanity. In short you gain understanding, knowledge, sorrow, and pain. However if you manage to take all the things that insanity offers you and can bend it to your will then it will unlock something vast that you must understand for yourself. Now listen close as my time comes to an end. I am not insane. I am not mad. I am not normal. I simply am incapable of telling you exactly how I feel. For those of you that know what I mean then this will all make sense. For all of those of you that don’t and walk the same reality everyday then you will not know, may never know. But there are those that will get what I mean and will know and understand what I mean. I have suffered to the point where I finally broke completely and gave in. I adopted the door of insanity and turned it to something else. It has been strange but my life is clearer. Goodbye my readers.