Feeling the keys on the keyboard click away underneath my fingertips. Glancing back and forth from my computer and back down to the sheet of paper that’s on the side of my keyboard. My skin caught the cold wind from the window that was propped open inside the tiny dorm room. I huffed in annoyance from all the typing that I had to do for college, it was a lot of work for my fourth year into college. I glanced down at the keyboard and when my eyes stared at each individual key I saw crimson blood, so much blood, it looked like someone dumped a bucket of blood all over me. It was covering my pale hands and oozing down onto my lap.
A blood curdling scream escaped my pale pink lips. This is not happening again, this is all just in my head. I squeezed my eyelids shut and counted to ten, I slowly opened my eyes and nothing was there. A sigh of relief came out, but I had a deep unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. I glanced down at my hands and saw that they were trembling. I need to get help, I can’t keep reliving this every day of my life. It will never stop haunting me, always popping inside my head when I think things are fine, but really deep down I know things aren’t.
I backed away from my desk and made my way over to the small bathroom, splashing some ice cold water onto my scarlet cheeks. Grabbing onto the edge of the sink with both hands that I thought were covered in blood, I gazed at the person staring back at me with icy blue eyes. Inhaling through my nose trying to release any bad thoughts. Shaking my head literally trying not to think back to that one awful day that scarred my brain forever. My feet padded their way over across the wooden floor and reached their destination, my bed. I love my bed so much but bad things come to my mind when I close my eyes, I try not to think about the real life nightmare I had to go through. I relaxed as soon as my spine hit the mattress leaving me with different thoughts, eventually dozing off to hopefully find peace but instead my mind wandered back to that one day.
Turning onto a street which lead into a neighborhood that I always go through to get to my dorm, I buzzed my way around corners going over the appropriate speed limit. Pressing my foot a little further into the gas peddle pushing almost thirty miles per hour I suddenly had an itch on the lower part of my calf so I reached down to scratch it moving my eyes away from the road for a quick second. I glanced back up to look out at the road in front of me, I saw a smaller figure dart out into the road and next thing you know there’s a thud that hit the front of the car. I screeched to a stop, full on braking the car and panic rushing through me. Oh my God, what did I hit!? I parked the car and threw open the driver's door, sprinting towards the front of my blue car. I screeched at the top of my lungs from the sight in front of me. I-I hit a g-girl. I hit a human being! A person that’s living and has a life! Tears pouring out of my eyes uncontrollably, I quickly lunged at the small figure that was half under my car and pulling her out all the way so I could see the full body. It didn’t look good...at all. I scooped the small girl into my lap and held her head that was spilling blood and pooling around her and I. I looked down at my pale hands and was staring at so much blood it made me sick. I shrieked at the top of my lungs hoping someone would sprint out and help the poor girl. Tears flowing down my face and dripping off of my chin and onto the girls petite face. I layed her down still screaming for someone, anyone to help. I glanced over her body trying to find where else it looked injured. I snapped my head to her face when I heard a whimper and then small sobs. All of a sudden her breathing became slower and slower by the minute and which felt like an eternity, I heard the sirens  getting closer. I started shaking her small shoulders and yelling “Please stay awake!! You can’t go! I’m so so sorry that this happened!!” I said the words between sobs that were coming from myself. Just as the paramedics arrived, I looked up to be greeted by people creating a circle around me and the small girl, hearing some people crying. When I glanced back at the little girl, I heard her breathing hitch and a strangled breath escaping her mouth, I then knew that she took her last breath.
*End of Flashback*
I jolted awake with layers of sweat covering every inch of my body. I hate myself for what happened on that day. I can’t stop blaming myself and for the little girl's death that I brought upon her. I learned from that one day that she was only 6 years old and her name was Leilah. Such a beautiful name. I hadn’t realised that my body was shaking from the nightmare that haunted me ever since. Some nights it wouldn't come to haunt me and I could actually breathe and get sleep but most of the other nights, this reoccurring nightmare visited me, taunting me forever. At least five days of the week, I would see things that weren’t actually there, or act out in public causing attention to look my way. I became isolated from society, working a job, seeing friends because they couldn’t handle the craziness.
I looked over my right sweaty shoulder and glared at the small digital alarm clock that read 7:58 am. Today would be the same as any other day that I tried to grow accustomed to. I guess I should go and see the parents of the lost child I had killed. I would never do such a thing on purpose, an innocent life just thrown away because of my stupid action. I gritted my teeth and threw on my hoodie since it was fall and it had been early spring when the accident happened. I hopped in my new car that I bought because I couldn’t dare to keep driving that blue car. I made my way to the house where the girl used to live. I looked at the clock that was already built in the car and it read 8:46 am. I parked my car a little bit down from the house and just sat there till it was 9:30am. I decided to get out of my car and slowly drag my feet towards the white house with the scarlet red door. I came to a stop and looked at the house directly in front of me, a shiver ran down my spine creating a bad feeling in my gut. I shrugged the feeling away and knocked on the door that reminded me of blood.
The door creaked open revealing an aged woman with dark circles and paleness painted across her thin face. We made eye contact and she had an angry/scowl on her face when she backed up and slammed the door almost touching the front of my nose. I deserved that. Hell, I deserve more than that but again I didn’t intentionally do it, I just had to have a stupid itch on my leg that caused my eyes to look away for a split second. I started to back away and make my way down the steps until I heard the door creak open again. I turned around and my eyes landed on the girl's father. He inched closer and finally glared at me, without a second thought he raised his arm so that it was parallel with the cement and I looked at the object that he was holding and alarm bells sounded in my head. But before I could turn away to run, the sound rang in my ears and then a sudden pain hit my leg. I collapsed on the hard ground causing a sharp gasp come out of my mouth. Pain exploded throughout my leg. I glanced towards the ground where my limp leg rested and noticed a lot of blood pooling around it making me feel dizzy. I heard heavy footsteps scuffing the ground making their way to me. I started to see black spots in my vision, close to falling into darkness. The last thing I heard was the man cocking the gun he held in his hand and pointed it in my direction. Everything became black, falling into nothingness.