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The Red Button
The Red Button
Alex looks back one last time, knowing that the world as he’s known it has forever changed. If only Alex Smith had known the tragic consequences that would occur after he made his decision on March 23rd, 1966. That day, Alex Smith had concluded his life was never going to change if he didn’t do something about it. 31-year-old Alex Smith was viewed as just an average person, working in some lousy job he never wanted to do for 10 years. He worked in a cubicle with one hundred other people punching salaries into a calculator and putting them into a word document. It was tedious, and Alex hated it. The thought of where he screwed up was constantly on his mind, and could never pinpoint when he turned left instead of right. It’s a Tuesday and at 10:00 a.m, Alex Smith is still in bed, when he should be at work. Yesterday was recorded in Alex’s head as the worst day of his life. All he recalled was him staring at a computer screen debating what his purpose is in this world. He didn’t find the answer and discovered that he didn’t have a purpose. That the world wouldn’t have been any different if he never existed. Alex felt like he was on the edge of losing his mind and told himself,
“I want a restart.” He went to his apartment as soon as work was finished and drank himself to sleep. Alex sighs gets up and goes outside for a smoke. The day is dreary and drizzling, as Alex lights his cigarette. He’s staring at the street and thinks about what a failure he is to everyone around him. His eyes begin to match the teardrops on his body. His jaw
begins to crumble as Alex Smith manifests his thought into verbal words for the first time in his life.
“I wanna disappear.” Alex drops to the ground and throws his cigarette furiously at the brick wall in front of him. He sobs and stares at the old brick wall. There’s a red button about the size of an apple, right in front of Alex’s face. He quickly stands up as he reads the print underneath the button stamped in black ink. It reads
“Alexander Jacob Smith.” His eyes widen as the tears begin to stop. He’s never seen that button before, he’s been smoking here for years. It was never there, and it has his name on it. Alex looks left and right, nobody is in sight and nobody saw the button appear out of thin air. He thinks to himself,
“This has to be it. The do-over I’ve always wanted.” Alex hesitates as his hand moves closer. His body is shaking and he backs away from the button.
“It’s what I want.”
“If it’s truly what I wanted I would have pressed it already,” Alex tells himself. The button is taunting him, and it’s all Alex’s mind is focused on. Until he thinks about everyone in his life. His mom and dad his two sisters, all his friends, and co-workers. Everyone he knows will be gone, washed away, as if they never existed, and so will he. It’s a gamble but Alex concludes there’s no way his life could get worse. That he hit rock bottom, to the point where no one understands his pain. Alex takes a step, bites his lip, and says “Goodbye.” His finger pushes the button, and Alexander Jacob Smith vanishes as if his life never happened.
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Alex represents depression and low self-esteem in the modern day world. He doesn't consider himself suicidal, but wishing he was born with a better deck of cards.