We watched together, sitting on the porch steps of my one-story house in the suburbs of New York, marveling at the wonder that is the humanity. I’ve never been able to classify myself as a social person and definitely fall under the category of introvert but I want to change. I’m almost thirty and have yet to be part of a romantic relationship consisting of more than myself.

I live alone in my home, well, except Lore of course but most of the time I don’t count him. He has been with me as long as I can remember yet he still feels so distant often having the majority of his time spent alone. I don’t have an issue with him and he is often very supportive but I still feel alone.

During the fall and winter periods the loneliness always feels worse but this year I am determined to change everything. I plan to get out more and I have found the perfect way to do it. A book convention was coming to town and it would provide the opportunity to practice socializing. The hope is that I simply grow from this as I can practice without worry of strangers remembering my awkwardness.

I walked into the house after work on Monday with a different aura about myself, excited to tell Lore about my plan. We sat down for dinner as I set the table with our meal, Lore knowingly confused about the smile I was wearing. 

“You seem awfully happy, its...odd”, he moaned staring at his meal.

“Well, I have an idea to become more social.” Lore showed no interest as he had heard this spiel before. “I found a book convention coming to town and I’m committing to myself that I will attend. I want to talk to at least several people which will hopefully boost my social confidence.”

I thought this had been a rather good plan yet as always Lore just loved to try and poke holes in it. I paid him no mind as he always would rather I stay secluded and alone, he was odd in that way but I couldn’t exactly explain it. The topic was left the rest of the meal, ending with me cleaning up after Lore’s untouched plate as per usual.

The week dragged on as I waited nervously for the big day of the convention. Lore continued to keep to himself but when it finally came time for me to leave to the convention he was nowhere to be found. I looked for him around the house before ultimately deciding I would leave and hopefully find Lore back at the house later tonight.

The convention center was being held at a building closer to the heart of New York, on a floor high enough to see the tops of most other nearby buildings. I could see booths across the floor as well as the numerous amounts of people surrounding them. I waited and waited for an opportunity to speak with someone and while I received numerous chances I found myself unwilling to take them. This was beginning to look more and more like previous attempts which simply made me want to leave. I removed myself from the dark corner in which I was leaning upon and began to walk towards the door when I swear I saw somebody I knew...which is odd because I don’t know practically anyone. I turned back around in shock as I saw none other than Lore across the room in a seemingly deep conversation with another woman.

Lore hadn’t seen me yet but it seems most of the other people in the room hadn’t noticed him either as they walked right through him as if he wasn’t even there. I didn’t dare move, I wanted him to see me, to feel my anger. Eventually our eyes met and I could feel, from across the room, the feeling of panic that had crept upon him. It seemed as quickly as I had found him that he was able to disappear into the crowd taking the woman he was talking to with him. I must go…

“Hey! I noticed you standing alone over here and thought you could use some company.”

I don’t know who this lady is but she is preventing me from finding Lore and I need to leave now.

“Sorry, I have to go find something.”

Brushing past her I left the crowded building and made my way back to the house. Weaving my way through the dark streets of the city until I finally found myself upon the cracked steps leading to my home. Opening the door to darkness, I called out his name but for the first time I received no response. After searching the house without luck I decided to simply go to sleep, hopefully everything will sort itself out by tomorrow.

The next morning I awoke to still no sign of Lore, I needed to find him. Lore and I argued often and frankly did not get along that well but without him a part of me felt different. I got ready to go back to the convention to see if I could find any trace of him. The center was much less lively in the morning but there were still stragglers around, going from booth to booth. I saw the bench that Lore and the woman were standing at so I began to make my way across the room.

“Excuse me, Sir!”

I  felt a tap on my shoulder which turned out to be from the lady who stopped me last night.

“Well, what are the odds I’d see you again here this early. You ran off on me yesterday so I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

I looked back at her a little confused, “Um, yeah, thanks. I’m sorry do I know you?”

“Derek. You know who I am, please just think hard but I promise you I’m here to help”, she reached out towards me.

“Woah! Don’t touch me! What have you done with Lore!”

I was becoming hysterical but as I thought harder I did know this lady, I don’t know from where so how does she know me? I began to call for Lore to help me as I was surrounded by people all trying to restrain me.
“Derek, please, just let us help you”, I watched her plead me with as tears streamed down her beet red face.
I didn’t know this lady but her voice still held comfort so I listened to her, I let go.

We sat together and watched the city before us on the cracked porch steps of my house. My best friend Lore was next to me, I’d known him as long as I could remember.