I had never been the type of person to enjoy romance. I wasn’t particularly opposed to it in theory, rather in application. I always assumed that loving someone was strictly reserved for those we deserved to be loved. 

My outlook changed when I met Quinn.   

Without her, I wouldn’t be sitting in this field right now. A field which took over an hour to find because it’s ‘a hidden treasure’ as Quinn would say, when she really means a remote area off-grid where the government can’t spy on us. She has strong feelings towards the government—we’ve bonded over them.  

We’ve been eating copious amounts of baked goods spread across the red and white checkered blanket she brought. Our legs are slightly intertwined as we lay on our backs, trying to distinguish shapes of the clouds in the sky. The soft wind blew through the trees creating a low hum-like rhythm. I couldn’t help but bask in the moment. 

“I’m not used to this. This feeling, I mean.” I looked over to meet her eyes after realizing I’d been avoiding them. 

“Me neither, but I like the way I feel when I’m with you,” she replied as she grabbed my hand that had been laying between the two of us. Her’s were much warmer than mine, but it always seemed to be this way. 

“Why?”. 

“What do you mean?” she questioned. 

“Why do you even like spending time with me?”. 

I was beginning to regret asking her this as she went silent, diverting her eyes from mine as if she didn’t know how to answer. 

“I mean, you’re this bright, magnetic person who walks through the world as if it was created for you. I don’t even know how to-”.  

“Noah…” she cut me off before I could finish my thought. Her eyes met mine again. “I think you’re beautiful.” 

My breath hitched. I just laid there, looking at her. Half stunned by her response and half questioning if I misheard her.

“Look, when I met you, I was lost. Sure, I’ve always acted like I have everything together, but I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. Then there’s you. This strong person who’s quite literally overcome every sh*tty thing life has thrown at you—and we both know there've been a lot of sh*tty things,” she chuckled. 

I didn’t mind her laughing because it wasn’t at me, it was with me. She was the only person I could do this with—in this way—and she knew that. 

“I’m so lucky to know you.” She looked to the sky as if she was trying not to cry. “God, I’m so lucky to know you.” I could see her eyes begin to water. 

“Can I say something?” I asked. She looked at me expectantly, nodding for me to continue. “I think I’m in love with you.” 

The words left my mouth before I could process their meaning. 

“I mean, I think I’m falling in love with you,” I clarified. Party because I’m not entirely sure of my feelings but mostly because I didn’t want to scare her off. 

“Oh,” she said. “Well, I know I’m in love with you. I thought that was pretty obvious with the letter I wrote you last week, and the one before that, and the one from last month.” 

I looked at her through furrowed brows. I could tell she knew I was confused by the way she looked at me. 

“What letters?”.