Breakup Advice | Teen Ink

Breakup Advice

September 24, 2009
By Anonymous

After those amazing relationships end, you have to ask yourself how things will continue. If you broke up with your partner, you must either be unhappy with them, mad at them, tired of them, or some other circumstance. So, if it is you who breaks up with the other, stop and think. As one single person, you don't have any idea what the other might go through. One moment to you is completely different that that of another. For example, you might go on a date and have the time of your life, oblivious to that fact that the one you care for is about to slit their wrists in boredom.
Just and example.
But that is something that you can relate to a breakup. You might think that things are better off without the other. They might be tripping and falling behind you, trying to catch up and get you back. It happens a lot, and these breakups are the worst. I myself went through one. And I've scraped my knees so much over these past to years tripping and falling after her(yes, two years. She's so beautiful I can't stop thinking about her). I've found out the the first and most important thing you can do to stay out of those horrible, bad break ups, is to forget. Easier said then done, right? Well, there is only one way to completely get over such a thing. Overwrite the memories that the two of you shared. Now, people call this a rebound, but isn't every boyfriend/girlfriend after the first a rebound? You must make better memories with this person. Have a greater time, and think about the new things you share rather then all the things you used to share with the other. Take it from me, with time, almost everything is mendable.


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This article has 472 comments.


on Jun. 27 2010 at 4:38 am
cyanidesun BRONZE, Atascadero, California
1 article 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is the eye of ignorance that assigns a fixed and unchangeable color to every object; beware of this stumbling block. -Paul Gauguin

I respectfully disagree. Trying to erase memories you had with someone else by covering it up with new memories won't solve the problem. That, my friend, is only what I like to call "serial dating." Where most people end up hurting themselves is when they start thinking that the care of another person will mend their wounds. You know, people always talk about finding someone who "completes you," but what you should really be looking for is someone who complements your completeness. How could you love someone when you don't know how to love yourself? 

In a way, you are right; no one can ever know exactly how another person feels. But isn't that what everyone's looking for? Someone who knows exactly how they feel? Sadly, that only happens in literature (oh, the irony).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that healing from heartbreak or grief or whatever else a person deals with can only come from working through it themselves, not using another person's affection to cover it up like spraying febreze into a garbage can. You know?

/end rant :) 


ssophiaa GOLD said...
on Jun. 26 2010 at 10:19 pm
ssophiaa GOLD, Falls Church, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You cannot operate from a concern of how you're perceived."
--Kevin Kittle

i had a thing with this guy. i understnad the whole two poitns of view thing because while i thought he really liked me and he was just busy and couldnt hang out, it turns out he just liked me as a friend. as one person, its impossible to know what went wrong, and i'm just starting to learn not to question what i did wrong, because i can never know.

by the way, i really like thie piece.


figureitout said...
on Jun. 16 2010 at 9:37 pm
figureitout, Dorchester, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.So love the people who treat you right, forget the ones that dont.Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it'd be worth it.

i know exactly how you feel. me and this guy broke up 2 years ago and i still think about him. i love him and im still trying to get over him. haha. dumb. i knoww. but thanks for the advice and keep writing. ill keep reading.

on Jun. 13 2010 at 10:14 am
BeYOUtiful_13 BRONZE, Tinley Park, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
~Marilyn Monroe

i know how it feels to be abandoned by a person you love so much

on Jun. 11 2010 at 1:21 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Oh my gosh I'm a gymnast too!  And yeah, I totally agree with this.  Some of my friends have had similar experiences.  Oh, and could you read and comment on my work?  Please?  It just got published!

on Jun. 11 2010 at 7:35 am
gymnast9 BRONZE, Southington, Connecticut
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
i love getting rips on my rips, its super sexy
- Stick It (gymnastics movie)

Yeah, i know what you mean, just a few days ago my boyfriend broke up with me because i told him he didnt care about me and only my body. idk and then his x girlfriend "my x bff" they used to date, >:( wrote him a note and it got him confused, part the reason he broke up with me.

necnec said...
on Jun. 10 2010 at 7:33 pm
necnec, Summit, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Malice towards none and charity towards all"

I'm sorry but he is a loser! Stay away from him you dont want to get rapped up with someone like him.

necnec said...
on Jun. 10 2010 at 7:31 pm
necnec, Summit, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Malice towards none and charity towards all"

I'm sorry but he is a loser! Stay away from him you dont want to get rapped up with someone like him.

angelhugz247 said...
on Jun. 5 2010 at 8:55 pm
I am so sorry to hear that. I know what that feels like becaue i have been thru a similar situation. ur friend doesnt sound like she is really ur friend. But who knows?? Maybe she thought he liked u and she secretly liked him.

on Jun. 5 2010 at 8:54 pm
My bad. I meant to reply to a comment below.

angelhugz247 said...
on Jun. 5 2010 at 8:52 pm
I am so sorry to hear that. I know what that feels like becaue i have been thru a similar situation. ur friend doesnt sound like she is really ur friend. But who knows?? Maybe she thought he liked u and she secretly liked him.

BOO'BOO(: said...
on Jun. 4 2010 at 11:38 am
HAAA II KNOWW WHATT YUHH MEANN,

on May. 28 2010 at 3:39 pm
JamieStarr GOLD, Sevierville, Tennessee
11 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
o! thats why i love you. :) i love you.

I loved it i just recently broke up with my boy friend cause he was always forecing me to do stuff like kiss him or let him touch me every where and i understood ur writing. it was great don't stop writing this type of writing

. said...
on May. 23 2010 at 8:07 pm
thank you guys for the awesome advice!! i'll keep trying!

Ashton BRONZE said...
on May. 23 2010 at 9:48 am
Ashton BRONZE, Somewhere, Oklahoma
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak, it means your strong enough to let go.~Author Unknown

I'm not saying you should give up on him....but maybe you should just give it time...he'll figure out later on in his life that he's making a huge mistake because you sound really sweet.  You should try looking for someone more like you. He's probably just been brainwashed.

. said...
on May. 23 2010 at 12:21 am
he knows i like him now, but he says he loves her more. (sigh) hate love

Snookums said...
on May. 21 2010 at 2:30 pm
Snookums, Boston, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Call Me for a good time"
"Get in meh belly"

this was good, and i dont say that often.

Ashton BRONZE said...
on May. 21 2010 at 8:59 am
Ashton BRONZE, Somewhere, Oklahoma
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak, it means your strong enough to let go.~Author Unknown

You just need to have faith in him. You need to show him that you're more trustworthy and he probably already knows that.  He might just not want to make your friendship awkward.  Maybe if you sit down and talk to him alone he'll understand where you're coming from.  He might just be scared. Just show him how much you care about him and how you hate to see him get hurt and that you'd never hurt him on purpose.  I know you can do it.=]

on May. 20 2010 at 10:47 pm
AelitaReloaded PLATINUM, Scottsdale, Arizona
22 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The pen is mightier than the sword" author unknown (to me)

Sounds like he has low self-worth.  He may not think he is good enough for a girl who treats him right- you've just got to be patient- and then show him that he's wrong!  Good luck! :)

on May. 19 2010 at 9:01 pm
White_Shadow BRONZE, Putnam, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A life without cause is a life without effect." - Unknown

Thank you :)