Bip Bip. I have just received a message. Probably it’s him saying that he already misses me. So, I get my phone, smiling, from my pocket trying to avoid the teacher’s gazes. In this period I have been the happiest person on earth. Everything goes great, I have a blast with my friends and in the meantime I live my dream and love with him.
I open the message; it’s not him. An unsaved number. In it there are two words, “I’m sorry” and then scrolling down I see a picture. I wish I had never seen it.
My hand starts trembling.
My eyes are wet with disbelief and anger.
My heart is shattered to pieces.
I stare at it in disbelief. Should I even call it a picture or a repulsing view that catches my eyes break my everything and makes me become weak, fragile and lonely? How could one picture, ruin all the past work that I had put in myself to become more responsible, stronger, and determined? Where had these feelings gone? Why had they leaved? They had tricked me believing me that they would always stand by my side, but when the smallest complications happen, they run away scared and not as tough as their meanings are.
Why? Why had this happened to me? Why pick me? Why him? Was I not good enough for him? Was it all my fault? Wasn’t I too pretty or too nice to compete and stay with him? In the end I convinced myself that it was all my fault if he had done this. I look back at the picture. His hands around her waist, her hands on his face, their mouths as one, their eyes closed. I want to scream, scream and let everything out! Scream for him, scream for whoever she is! And then I cry…again. A loud, angry, agonized cry that I’m sure everybody hears.
“Are you okay?” Mrs. Lonel puts her arm around my shoulders. Can’t she just leave me alone? Teachers always have to think they are our friends and think that we are going to tell them all our life.
I throw the phone on the ground. After a second a hear a loud thud. I hope the phone is broken.
“Darling do you need any help?” the teachers continues. Yes I do, I need help but not from you. I want everything back where it was, I want to be happy as I was, innocent but still happy. I wish that that message had never arrived. I wish that I hadn’t fallen in love for him.
And then I start running. I run towards his classroom and I hate running. I stop in front of his door. Why did I come? I stare blankly at the brown door. I hear voices inside, the teacher talking, yelling at somebody. Should I open? Should I let it pass, and forget about what I saw and still stay with him as nothing happened? Maybe it was a joke. How could it be a joke if they are kissing? It can’t be made up!
Finally I get the handle’s door and push it to the bottom. The door slowly creeks as I open it furthermore. I must have been in a dreadful state, since as I stepped in all 24 heads, including the teacher, looked at me in a horror and slightly disgusted face. I knew I shouldn’t have come here. I quickly scan through the class and I see him, beautiful as ever with his blue eyes analyzing me. I can’t handle seeing him.
“Sorry.” I whisper and run away.
What was I thinking? I run and run. Halfway through the corridor I hand catches me and makes me stop. I barely can see since my eyes are full of my tears which can’t stop falling. I understand its him, his blue eyes are so bright, that is impossible to unrecognized them.
He starts talking and talking and he keeps on talking but for me he speaks another language. I can’t understand him , I don’t want to understand him. My head starts spinning, my view becomes black, I can’t see anything.
“Sara, can you hear me? Sara what is wrong with you?” It’s the last thing that I remember on hearing just before I hit the ground.
I always fall and I hate the ground when I do fall, it always hurts me somewhere. However this time it’s different the ground is soft, nice, it’s secure stable, protective.