Aging Love | Teen Ink

Aging Love

June 1, 2010
By OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker<br /> We cannot change the cards we&#039;re dealt just how we play the hand<br /> Experience is what you get when you didn&#039;t get what you wanted<br /> It&#039;s pretty easy to be smart when you&#039;re parroting smart people<br /> -Randy Pausch


I smiled at him, his forest-green eyes boring into mine, and an involuntary smile sprang to my face. I used to never smile. I reached to set a long raven lock behind his ear, and as I placed it there delicately, thin, slanting red lines on the back of his neck caught my eye and pain flashed across my face.

Caif saw my alarm, and he reached out to stroke my cheek, eyes twinkling when he saw my face smooth. 'It's ok,' he told me gently, and gave that soft, sweet smile reserved for me and me alone. "I don't feel it anymore, Jules. It doesn't hurt. Don't fret." Don't fret. I loved when he talked like that, so different from everyone around us. Then again, he was different-and so was I.

I stared at his eyes and into their mesmerizing depths, at his perfectly chiseled face just inches from my own, and I acted impulsively. My mother had always told me I was impulsive. Here was the proof.

It wasn't like we'd never kissed before. I remembered that first kiss well. But this time, as my lips crushed his passionately, it was different. My hands twisted in his long black hair so like my own, and his arms wrapped around my waste and pulled me closer, closer. Our hips ground together and our breathing was loud, hearts pounding. We weren't acting like two responsible high school kids. We were acting like two kids about to do something very irresponsible.

Caif was the one to finally break away. His eyes shone with excitement, but, as I looked on in disappointment, gradually dimmed. "Well," he murmured, brows raised. "What brought that on?"

"What brought that on?" I asked, expression defiant. And then I sang. It seemed so clichéd to do that in real life, but Caif always told me that he loved to hear me sing more than anything else in the world, so occasionally, as if I were my own High School Musical, I sang to express my feelings.
Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days

I stopped mid-verse and gave him a pointed stare which he ignored. "It's happening, Caif," I told him. "I won't be with you forever. I want to enjoy the time I have." Seeing him start to protest, I interrupted. "I know," I said wearily. "I'm only fifteen. Some people would say I could be with you forever. I know better. Your age process has already started to slow. How am I supposed to be with you when I'm ninety and you don't like a day over thirty?" I was embarrassed to be blinking away sudden tears. I hardly ever cried, either.

Looking at Caif, I saw his face, so full of concern and care, and I knew I never wanted to see another face. None could replace him.

"Sweet," he whispered. "Julia. I love you and I will always love you. And...somehow...I'll find a way. I'll make you live like I do. I won't lose you, Jules. I won't." By the end of Caif's speech, his face had approached mine again. But now it was his move.

Gently, lovingly, he pressed his lips against mine. This kiss was more loving, more...meaningful. Feeling his lips against mine, my fears calmed, replaced with assurance. He wouldn't let me grow old and withered while he stayed young and fresh. He would save me, somehow.

As one we reclined on the wide sofa, our heads resting inches apart, identical midnight-black hair mingling. I was almost asleep when I felt him brush a stray strand of hair back into its' place. "I love you, Julia," he said softly.

"I know," I replied sleepily, and the warmth of his smile lulled me back to rest.


The author's comments:
Another piece of a story, this one unwritten, that I couldn't let escape me.

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This article has 121 comments.


on Jun. 17 2010 at 6:09 am
taintedannex GOLD, Hong Kong, Other
15 articles 5 photos 166 comments

Favorite Quote:
The truth is that at some point, everyone&#039;s going to hurt you. You just have to decide who&#039;s worth the pain.<br /> <br /> Some say having something to lose is what makes you vulnerable. I believe that having something to lose only makes you stronger.

This is really good!

I too, had originally thought it was a bit Twilight-y, but after reading the basic storyline in your explanation to Maya, I think it was, I'm really into the story. 

Please do write more! Now I'm dying to find out what happens.

You're definitely talented :)


on Jun. 15 2010 at 4:31 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker<br /> We cannot change the cards we&#039;re dealt just how we play the hand<br /> Experience is what you get when you didn&#039;t get what you wanted<br /> It&#039;s pretty easy to be smart when you&#039;re parroting smart people<br /> -Randy Pausch

Lol, I know it's confusing, because it's an excerpt, not a beginning.  My article Julia Chapter 1, I don't know if you read it, that's the beginning.  If you look at my reply to Maya, you'll see what Caif is.

on Jun. 15 2010 at 4:21 pm
bballer17 BRONZE, Willoughby, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
That was really good. i loved how describive it was but i was alittle confused about what Caif was...

on Jun. 15 2010 at 9:35 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker<br /> We cannot change the cards we&#039;re dealt just how we play the hand<br /> Experience is what you get when you didn&#039;t get what you wanted<br /> It&#039;s pretty easy to be smart when you&#039;re parroting smart people<br /> -Randy Pausch

Thank you!  I really appreciate your comment:)

SydSyd said...
on Jun. 15 2010 at 8:24 am
That's really good.

on Jun. 14 2010 at 8:31 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker<br /> We cannot change the cards we&#039;re dealt just how we play the hand<br /> Experience is what you get when you didn&#039;t get what you wanted<br /> It&#039;s pretty easy to be smart when you&#039;re parroting smart people<br /> -Randy Pausch

Thank you!  That's very nice of you:)Yeah, I like to describe things in great detail, I think it makes the story more life-like, and with two parents who are teachers, it would be sort of hard for me to not have a good vocabulary.  Thank you so much for commenting!  I really appreciate it:)

on Jun. 14 2010 at 7:17 pm
IAmMyself BRONZE, Newton, Massachusetts
1 article 1 photo 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
Saying that life will be good to you because your a good person is like saying that an angry bull won&#039;t charge because your a vegetarian<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -I Don&#039;t Know

wow. you're a very talented writer and i love this piece. It's very descriptive and it has a great use of imagery and descriptive language. great vocab. :)

on Jun. 13 2010 at 10:54 pm
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 193 comments

Oh, okay :)

 

I hope you write/post more, it sounds like an interesting plot line. 


on Jun. 13 2010 at 4:52 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker<br /> We cannot change the cards we&#039;re dealt just how we play the hand<br /> Experience is what you get when you didn&#039;t get what you wanted<br /> It&#039;s pretty easy to be smart when you&#039;re parroting smart people<br /> -Randy Pausch

Thank you so much!  Of course I'll read your stuff!

on Jun. 13 2010 at 4:51 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker<br /> We cannot change the cards we&#039;re dealt just how we play the hand<br /> Experience is what you get when you didn&#039;t get what you wanted<br /> It&#039;s pretty easy to be smart when you&#039;re parroting smart people<br /> -Randy Pausch

Lol, this is part of a book I may or may not write, read my comment to Maya below, it explains everything(I think).  And, um, I don't even know who Benjamin Button is.  But I REALLY appreciate your comments.  Thanks:)

on Jun. 13 2010 at 4:35 pm
Soccergirl1418 BRONZE, Hubbard, Oregon
2 articles 0 photos 8 comments
This is AMAZING!!! I loved everything! Can you please read mine and tell me what you think?

on Jun. 13 2010 at 4:30 pm
OurTimeisRunningOut BRONZE, Flanders, New Jersey
4 articles 4 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hope for the best, Expect the worst.

It was really good and descriptive.  I liked it :).

 

The only thing is I have to agree with Maya, it was a little too similar to Twilight or even a Benjamin Button type thing.  I think overall it was really goo though.  Maybe just explain more why he ages that way?


on Jun. 13 2010 at 12:10 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker<br /> We cannot change the cards we&#039;re dealt just how we play the hand<br /> Experience is what you get when you didn&#039;t get what you wanted<br /> It&#039;s pretty easy to be smart when you&#039;re parroting smart people<br /> -Randy Pausch

Oh, and I forgot to mention something else(I'm really sorry for blathering on like this, I just want to explain).  Caif isn't stopping them from...getting carried away because he is afraid he'll hurt her, he just doesn't think they're quite ready yet.

on Jun. 13 2010 at 12:08 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker<br /> We cannot change the cards we&#039;re dealt just how we play the hand<br /> Experience is what you get when you didn&#039;t get what you wanted<br /> It&#039;s pretty easy to be smart when you&#039;re parroting smart people<br /> -Randy Pausch

:)Oh, I know.  I know that this excerpt might seem a bit Twilight-y, but really, the rest isn't as much.  Especially the main character, Julia.  She's not some dumb girl head-over-heels in love with a "monster" who will never age.  Caif is a fayeri, and he will age, just more slowly.  And unlike Bella, Julia is actually half-fayeri, she just doesn't know it yet.  Also, Julia's personality is very different.  She is sarcastic and funny and somewhat cynical, with a rather dark view of the world that Caif(I know it's a weird name the fayeris all have weird names)helps to lighten.

Thank you for commenting, though!  I really appreciate constructive advice!


on Jun. 13 2010 at 11:00 am
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 193 comments

I terms of writing, this was well done. Descriptive and interesting. However, I felt that the overall idea was very very similar to several scenes in Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. 

 

Not that there's anything wrong with fan fiction and all that, but I wasn't sure if you were aware of the similarity, since you didn't write anything about it in the description. 


on Jun. 12 2010 at 11:06 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker<br /> We cannot change the cards we&#039;re dealt just how we play the hand<br /> Experience is what you get when you didn&#039;t get what you wanted<br /> It&#039;s pretty easy to be smart when you&#039;re parroting smart people<br /> -Randy Pausch

If you didn't see, I posted the first chapter it's called Julia Chapter 1.

on Jun. 12 2010 at 11:04 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker<br /> We cannot change the cards we&#039;re dealt just how we play the hand<br /> Experience is what you get when you didn&#039;t get what you wanted<br /> It&#039;s pretty easy to be smart when you&#039;re parroting smart people<br /> -Randy Pausch

Sure, definitely:)

on Jun. 12 2010 at 11:04 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker<br /> We cannot change the cards we&#039;re dealt just how we play the hand<br /> Experience is what you get when you didn&#039;t get what you wanted<br /> It&#039;s pretty easy to be smart when you&#039;re parroting smart people<br /> -Randy Pausch

She is fifteen, but she was seeing when she is ninety he'll look like he's thirty, and neither of them are human, although right then neither of them no that she isn't.  And this is part of a story I may or may not write, so it would be explained.

LeilaAllegra said...
on Jun. 12 2010 at 9:30 pm
LeilaAllegra, Lonetree, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
ExPrEsS yourself(:

aww so cute!!!(: CHeck out mine

on Jun. 12 2010 at 8:12 pm
weebnini DIAMOND, San Diego, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Done &amp; Over&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Anyone can give up, it&#039;s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that&#039;s true strength.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth.&quot;

awww~ i like it!<3 write more of this plz:)