The dream was so close. yet so far away.l The best people in this world have had dreams. Dr.King. Cesar Chavez. But this i s a different kind of dream. The room is white. The breeze chills my fingers. I can see my breath. What is this? I walk in a straight line. And the white seems to fade. The black comes in. it stretches. This is what life is for me. Different colors, and a space of nothingness that never ends. It's trippy. And confusing. It's sad. being here all alone. With noone to hold my hand. To tell me it's gunna be okay. But maby it's better this way. That way I won't be able to hurt anyone. Noone really knows what happened the night she died. They just blamed it on me. I mean, why wouldn't they? I'm the freak of the school. I wear all black. I 'cut' or whatever that rumor said. And that's exactly what it was. A rumor. A total...complete...lie.

But it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's not like it's their life. It's mine. Those kids thought saying 'oh i'm just kidding' would make it better. Well guess what. It didn't Beacuse they weren't kidding about themselves. Or their life. They were 'just kidding' about mine."1.)*Ya levantate de la cama huevona!*" Anna, my sister said. So what if I'm being lazy? I have a right to. "2.)*Caillate."I said. I always say shuttup when I'm too tired to fight back. She sat on my bed and sighed. "Does Veronica know you told Shaunee?" She asked. I shrugged. "Who cares? My life can't get any worse."I said. She chuckled. She thinks everything serious is funny. "You're sixteen, how bad can it be?" She asked. I immediatly sat up. "How bad? Anna! I've been accused of murder, tortured. teased. Rideculed. How much worse can it get?I'm lucky i'm still alive."I said. She sighed. "Well try to look at it as...a wild experience of your teen life.' She said. I rolled my eyes. "get out I need to get dressed." I said, shoeing her out of the room.

I looked in my closet and checked out my clothes. Black shirt. Black skirt. Black dress. Black vest. Black jacket. Black sweater. Black blouse. Black tank top. Black flats. Black, black, black. Yes, i'm a black girl(punn unintended)I decided on my black blouse and my black jeans. "Come on. the bus is here." Anna knocked on my door. "I'm comming."I said trying to hurry the process up I took my belt with me. I ran down the steps of my porch and chased after Anna. "*Esperame Anna!" Why won't she wait for me? She stepped on the bus and put her money in the slot. I did the same and sat way at the edn of the bus. "Aye, is someone sitting there?" A guy asked. "No go ahead."I said. "Thanks"He said. "No prblem"I said without looking up. I looked out the window. The trees, the small businesses. The sad excuses for supermarkets. It all passed by so quickly. I smiled as I saw a kid marveling at the pinata outside the 4.)*mercado. "You gotta lighter?" The guy asked as we approached the stop. "Sure. Here."I said handing him the lighter. We got off the bus and I waited for him to light the cigarette. "5.)*Como te llamas?" He asked. Do I really look that Mexican?Well, I do have dark brown eyes, almost black. And my hair is really dark. And my skin...some kind of a burnt charamel. Yup. I can see why he'd see the big 6.)*nopal on my forehead. "Alicia."I said. He nodded thoughtfully. "And you?"I asked. "Jesus.But here in the 7.)*bario, they call me Chuy." He said. I nodded in the same way as him. "So. You go to school around here?" He asked. I didn't answer. Am I really stupid enough to tell him where I go to school. I don't know. Probably. "Do you?" I asked. "I asked you first esa." he said. "I asked you second ese."i said in the same raspy tone he had. He chuckled. "I sometimes go to Garfield." He said. I leaned back. "Sometimes?" I asked. "Well what can i say. I'm so smart, they said no proffesionals." He said. I laughed. If only he knew how stupid he sounded. "Nah man. I'm just messin with you. But aye seriously, where you go to school? I can walk you there. "He said. I smiled. He wasn't hot. But he wasn't exactly ugly either. He had dark brown eyes. Dark brown hair. But he was lighter than me and he had that whole mysterious cholo edge to him that was just...so inviting. "Well if you must know...i also go to Garfield."I said. He smiled. "Then I guess I must go learn." he said. i smiled. We walked in silence. He was different than the what I thought 8.)*cholos would act like. He didn't walk with that stupid limp. He didn't pull his pants up to his chest. And his hair...well yeah that was exactly how cholos wear it but it didnt seem so fake. He looked pretty nice I guess...well as nice as a cholo can look. "Angel! Aye 9.)*vato wait up ese!" A boy called out. "Damn. Why you follow me?" He asked. "Come on ese, I just wanna roll with you and the boys."He said. Aww how cute. A little mini me of Chuy. "do it look like I'm with the boys? No. So leave me the hell alone." he said. Angel looked at me and bit his lip. "Aye Mami, how you doing. Lemme hollar at you right quick esa." He said. i laughed. "No 10.)*estupido!" Chuy said as he slapped his forehead. Angel looked at Chuy. "but you told me to do that with the 11.)*hynas You know, be tight. be cool."He said. I eyed Chuy. "Ah really? Well guess what Angel. Chuy and I both know it don't work on girls like me."I said as I walked ahead of them. I can't believe I actually fell for the oldest trick in the book. I'm so smoothe. Look at me I'm different. He just turned on the charm and there I was. i hate this. "Esa! Where you going?" Angel called out for me. He caught up and left Chuy standing there watching. he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked slowly behind us. "Sorry. i didnt know you girls didn't like that kind of stuff." Angel said. "it's okay. it wasn't your fault...and you shouldn't be trying to act like those guys. it doesnt wrk to be all jerkish with girls like me. Just be yourself." I said. He smiled. "Thank you.' He said. "No prblem."i replied before walking ahead into the school. I was about ten minutes late. And class still hadn't started. "Aye Sleepy Girl. Check out who's here." Whisper/Leticia said as I waled in the room. Sleepy Girl is Veronica. She's really mean. Especially to me. "12.)*Aye Puta! I heard you told Mousey bout me and Jaime." Sleepy Girl said. I nodded. "13.)*Y Que?" I asked. "So it's true. Well then you know what happens next. " She said. "Look, 14.)*yo no quiero problemas. Leave me alone."I said. "You wanna come say that to my face?" She said. I stood up. "15.)*Dejame en paz. No quiero problemas y no quiero hacer te llorar*." I added. She laughed. "Please sit down girls. The last thing I need is to fill out a form on who won and who got there ass kicked." Ms.Laura said. i rolled my eyes and sat down. It's only been two days and already I have prblems at school. i want it to be summer again. "This aint over puta." Sleepy girl said beofre sitting in her seat all the way across the room.

CLass went by quickly, and before I knew it, i was out the door and infront of my locker. But who did I see leaning on the row of lockers that followed mine? Of course, noone other than Sleepy Girl and her...cholas? and Cholos. Sleepy Girl was going out with Fernando(Twix)but she's cheating on him with Droopy(Jaime) His girl is Shaunee velascques(Vele). But among the crowd of cholos and their Hynas, I saw one guy who seemed so out of place. Chuy. "There she is." Said Whisper. "Looks like we're having 17.)*pollita for dinner tonight!"Sleepy Girl said as she made her way to me. "Hey Esa. Ready for your beating?" She asked. "Aye Sleepy GIrl. 17.)*La nena esta conmigo." Chuy said. She looked at him. then at me. Then back at him. "This puta's with you?" She asked. He nodded. 'Well. I guess he saved you...for now." She said. She pushed passed me and walked down the halls followed by everyone except Chuy. "Look Alicia I didnt mean-" He began to say,"I don't want to hear it Chuy." I said. "Cmoe on ALi! I just saved you another day of your life." He said. "Maybe, but I never asked you." I said. He sighed. "Come On Esa. I dwasn't trying to treat you like those other girls. I was just trying to show him the ropes." He said. I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." I was about to walk away when he grabbed my arm. "Come on Ali. Please. " He said. His eyes were so sencere. i couldn't just say no. Fine."I said. he smiled which just made me smile like a dumb buitt."come on. let's go somewhere else. I hate school." he said. I smiled. I grabbed his hand and we walked out the door. He was really sweet. He held my door open for me when we went into the store. He let me go first at everything. Maybe he sin't so bad after all...