She feels like she is being torn apart. She does not want anyone to know how she is feeling for the suspicion that she might lose you. The way she feels about you is unexplainable. She does her best to make you happy and to show you how much she feels for you, but everyone makes mistakes. She still feels for her Far Away, as much as she does not want to she know that she does. Which is what scares her the most. She knows that you love her and that you will always treat her better than her Far Away ever did. So then why can’t she forget about him?
Maybe it is because the last four years of her life revolved around Far Away. She never did anything for herself she put him first. He used her and pushed her down. He was good at saying sorry and making things up to make it feel like everything that he did to hurt her was somehow her fault. She used her, he deceived her. So then why can’t she forget about him?
Mr. It makes her feel something. He has stayed with her through everything. When he holds her it is like something changes inside of her, like everything is going to be okay. He makes her feel whole, there is nothing missing anymore. It scares her. She has never wanted someone so much in her life.
She thought she wanted Far Away but now she sees that she was stupid to think that she even had a chance. She misses her Far Away sometime, but that doesn’t mean that she still has feelings for him. She doesn’t believe in hating for it only brings darkness. She knows that she loves Mr. It and that one day everything will be perfect, but first Far Away needs to go away.