The wind made it difficult to walk... after getting off the quad. It was now 6:00pm Wednesday and I had stayed home from school because of my sickness. I visited the doctor and he said that I had a virus and that I has to let it take it's course and to take some cough syrup. Tonight was youth and my boyfriend, Nate was going to be there. I asked my doctor if it would be okay for me to go. He said I'd be fine as long as I cough in my arm, wash my hands, and not share anything with anyone. Well, I went and told Nate that he couldn't kiss me. He was holding me and we were staring into each others eyes. He then whispered into my ear that he couldn't take it any more. He held me closer and goose bumps covered my body. My heart melted as his soft lips touched mine. Fireworks began to burst in my stomach as our lips compressed and our bodies became even closer. He then released and went back to staring at me. He then said he loved me. I said prove it. He began to think a minute. Then I added, “If you really love me, scream it to the world.” He then smiled and put his face up to mine as if he had to tell me a secret. He then whispered, “I love you.” I asked, “Why'd you whisper it to me?” He then said, “Because your my world.” This made a smile grow upon my face, my heart melt like chocolate, and my body feeling like gravity had just disintegrated. I kissed him again. This made him squeeze me tighter and swing me around. He then let me down slowly and grabbed me hand. We smiled at each other and walked inside the church. When we got in the room,we sat down by the wall, next to his best friend, Jesse and his girlfriend, Iesha. Nate rested his head on my lap. I was wearing shorts so I could feel his facial hair rubbing among my smooth skin. I then ran my fingers through his black, short, curly hair as he closed his eyes and listened to the message given by the preacher. The message was talking about storms that people go through. She told a story and referred to the bible about a storm that Jesus had gone through. After the story, she asked the youth, “What kind of storms are you going through? Would anyone like to share?” I looked down at Nate. He wasn't listening. I then began to think of all the girls he talks to. Since he goes to Central and I go to West, I tend to worry a lot. I always think the worst when it comes to things like this. I began to think about my past relationships and how they ended. I related them to Nate and began to doubt him. I didn't want another fight between us but when he looked up at me and asked me what was wrong, I knew I had no choice. “I don't want you mad at me.” I said. “Well, it's going to make me more mad if you don't tell me.” Nate replied. I sighed and my eyes began to wander. I moved my hair from my face and took a deep breath. I took out my phone and began an empty text message. I began to explain what was bothering me. I told him about certain girls that he always talked to and how it bothered me in ways. I also mentioned how I didn't like the fact that we went to different schools. He got really frustrated at this point. I then sighed and told him to just drop it. Usually he would but this time he refused. He went on and on about how he's different then all the other guys and how he'd never do anything to hurt me. What he doesn't get is that all the past guys who have hurt me, said and promised they wouldn't ether. That's why it's very hard to trust him. Sometimes, I wish he'd just understand. I try my best not to worry and start fights but it's hard when that's all I've ever known. I told him that I'd try to do better and he said that he'd try to stop yelling which to me isn't really an issue. But to drop the subject, I said okay as he kissed my forehead. Since youth was over, I asked him if he'd like to come to my house to hang out. He accepted my offer and began to get up. We said good bye to everyone and got into his blazer. He turned on some rap music as I grabbed one of his jackets out of the back. I then put it over my lap and put my seat belt on. As we pulled out of the church parking lot, I began to look out the window, still thinking about everything that we had just fought about. Our fights always seem to be about the same stuff. Like, our problems never get solved. A song came blaring into my head as I was deep in thought. The lyrics read, “I could lean in to hold you or act like I don't even know you. Seems like you could care less ether way.” So, I looked at Nate. He was singing along to the song he chose. I then held his hand, kissed his check, and wrested my head on his shoulder. I waited a few seconds and looked up at him. No smile or anything. Just singing along to the same song. It was as if I wasn't even there. So, I pulled away, and went back into the position I was before. I stared out the window once more, confused. I looked at him again and he caught my glance. He then turned down the music and looked at me. Then asked, “Are you okay?” I said no as if I knew he was going to ask. He said, “Why baby? What wrong?” I replied, “I feel like were distant. Remember that song “Do I” by Luke Brian? I just hugged on you and everything; pulled away and you acted the same way. I don't get what I'm doing wrong. I'm trying to do the best that I can. All of this stuff all at once is just tearing us apart. I just don't feel as close to you. We use to be so happy and you'd always hug me and hold me and tell me you loved me a billion times a day. Now, you barley hold my hand, you never hold me, and you tell me you love me maybe twice a day not including the end of a phone call. It just seems like you’re losing interest in me or finding interest in someone else. I don't know. Maybe it's just me.” He then shook his head like he couldn't believe that I just said that. Like I was a nuts-o and that I belonged in some mental hospital. I had a blank stare on my face that said, “DUDE! I'M SERIOUS!” But, without saying anything he said, “Babe, sometimes it may seem that way, but no matter what it may seem like, that doesn't mean it's true. The reason I don’t hug or hold you sometimes is because I’m doing something or it’s the wrong time or I’m afraid of hurting you from the force of my hugs. I love you more than anything! I try to hold your hand but I miss when I reach for it. I know you don’t notice but I make it that way because I see it as a flaw and I try to hide my flaws from you because you deserve the best boyfriend ever. I’m trying. I really am. Please don’t doubt me.” I then looked out the window again and began to think again. I noticed the car slowing down and moving towards the side of the road. I looked at him puzzled. He then said, “Hold on.” He got out and walked around the back of the car. He came to my door, opened it, took off my seat belt, and told me to turn my body towards him. I was veryconfused at this point. He took my hands and got down on one knee. I still didn’t understand entirely what he was doing. He then said, “Baby, I love you so much! I promise you this! I understand guts have told you this in the past and let you down heartbroken. Well, your heart will never be broken ever again, I’m not going anywhere.” I then replied saying, “How do I know for sure?” He said, “Well, you don’t. You just have to trust me. I know that no matter what I do right now there’s no way I could prove my love in any other way then this.” I said, “What? Like what?” He said, “Open the glove box.” I did as told. He said, “Hand me that little box.” I didn’t think anything of it and I was still confused. I grabbed the box and handed it to him. He then let go of my hand and said, “Brittany?” He then opens the box and says, “Will you marry me?”