I enjoy living the past. Don't judge me for dwelling on it, honey I just can't stop thinking about you, I never stopped, right from the very beginning when we first met and when you promised me joy.

You are what glows within me. I keep you in my heart for so long that you've already been a part of me. Then you left, but we both know that the part in me can never be taken away. It belongs to me and it is what makes me whole. My love, you complete me.

Don't ever criticize. Please never judge me for living the past in the present. I'm not lying to myself, it isn't that I cannot face the fact that you've left. It started off to be my escape and my comfort, it just slowly becomes my hobby, then, my bad habit. I don't try to get rid of you, darling. You are my Sunday morning coffee, my Monday work, my Tuesday nap, my Wednesday lecture, my Thursday prayer, my Friday night party, my Saturday walk on the beach. I cannot live without this habit of mine.

Do you still remember how you first told me you were falling for me? And how I never even noticed? Do you still remember we stayed up all night talking about our childhood? And how you were a timid boy who was afraid of the dark? Do you still remember when you had a car crash on your way to school one morning then I freaked out and started crying? And you told me how blessed you were to finally have me caring about you? Remember when I was still the only one who truly made you happy while other girls made you sick? You said you would forever be the only one who brought me happiness, too. We had forever, I never forget. But it is still not bad for now that I have the past, and there, I have us.

The past is not in the past, it is in the present - at least to me it is. I'm not escaping, I'm holding on. Tell me I'll only get hurt in the end, it's not something new - I know I will. But I dare to.