I always feel alone.
I’m Amanda the orphan. I have moved around a lot. My parents died in a car accident when I was very young. I never really got to know them, or anyone for a matter of fact. I go from one uncle to another. Never actually get close with anyone. It’s kind hard sometimes. Having no one to share my problems with and I wouldn’t dare to talk about my troubles with my guardian of the week because my relatives are screw ups and scrubs.
Last week while I was with Uncle James he got arrested for stealing a car. My other two uncles have also gone to jail. My aunt Jill is my last hope or I go into foster care. I hope they things will be different with her. She is a character but she has never had a run with the law. The only thing I’m looking forward to is the beach. She lives right on it practically. I mean it’s no fancy house… more like a shack but still it’s so close to the beach. I love the beach. When I was a baby my parents would always take walks on the beach with me. My past three uncles lived in the Midwest so no beach there just corn and a lot of it.
…..
Tomorrow is the first day of school for me. I am not scared because I have been through this a lot. I just don’t enjoy the looks I get. I can feel the students’ eyes burning into my skin, judging me with my every move. It doesn’t sound fun because it is not fun. I always feel awkward at school because of the cliques and couples. I never have fit into any clique or even had a boyfriend. I’m almost positive that I’m forever alone.
…..
The first week is now over and I’m thankful for that. I made some friends and everyone was relatively nice but I just don’t find myself getting very close with these kids. There is one in particular that I feel like could become a great friendship. His name is Drake. He is cute but not the “hottie” of the school. I guess you could say he was an outcast cutie. I mean I don’t care about social titles speaking that I’m the freaky new girl.
…..
I have been in school for a couple of months. Quite frankly in surprised I have been with Aunt Jill for this long. I happy for that though. I joined the volleyball team at school and got involved in some clubs so that added a few friends to the list. Drake and I have grown very close though. I guess you could call us best friends. We share a lot in common; surfing, volleyball, soccer. We spend most of our time together on the beach.
“Amanda, come in the water with me!” said Drake.
“Not now, I’m tanning. Anyways I have to wait for Jamie to get here.” I replied even though I was dying to get in the water. It was crystal clear and a perfect day for swimming.
“Come on please! I’m out here all alone”
“Fine! But if Jamie gets mad I’m blaming you!” I said but in reality I could care less if Jamie got mad. Jamie was one of my closer girl friends and she was also Drakes friend but we we’re not as close with her as we are with each other.
I had only known drake for a few months, but we had already become so close. There was a problem developing though. I was getting feelings for him. Not those kidding baby feelings you get in there 5th grade but really deep feelings. I feel like he has them too but I am not sure and I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I was at a crossroads and had no idea where to go.
…..
“Jill, I’m home but I will be leaving soon for my study group.” I said as I walked into the house.
Aunt Jill ran out for her bedroom with half of her hair curlers still in her hair and said “Oh no, Amanda did I forget to tell you? You have to babysit Brian and Sam tonight. I have a job interview.”
She didn’t look like she was going to a job interview though. She looked like she was heading off to a night club to be honest but whatever it’s her kids and she did take me in. It just made me really upset because tonight was the night I was going to tell drake about my feelings for him.
After two hours of watching cartoons I got a text from drake saying “Hey! I missed you tonight. Why weren’t you there? Btw I have something that I need to tell you!” While reading the message I got a huge grin on my face and Brian looked at me like I was an idiot. I texted him back explaining the situation and told him to come over tomorrow and he could tell me it. I also told him that I had news for him too.
It was almost 2:00 a.m. and Jill wasn’t home. I gave up caring because it was so late and went to bed just hoping that tomorrow would bring good news! About an hour later I heard a crash coming from down stairs. I woke up checked the kids rooms and then went down stairs. This is where I found Aunt Jill passed out on the floor with half of a broken whisky bottle in her hand. I became very frustrated because she was my last hope and right now things were not looking up. I took her up to her room, cleaned the mess up and went back to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up and went straight to Aunt Jill’s room. I had to know what happened last night. “Hey Aunt Jill get up we need to talk!”
“I had a rough night leave me alone”
“Oh a rough night? Really, Really? Is that what it’s called when you pass out because of extensive alcohol consumption? I thought you had a job interview. You need to pull yourself together because you have kids that need to be taken care of.” I screamed as I ran out of her room. I was furious. I grabbed my phone and left the house.
Right away I texted Drake to meet me at the beach. I need his support more than anything right now. He said he was on his way, not knowing anything was wrong yet. When he got there he saw me sitting in the sand bawling my eyes out. He came up and gave me a huge hug.
“Amanda, what’s wrong? Are you okay? I’m guessing you heard the news...”
“What news?” I asked curiously
“Um what… Nothing. Why are you crying?”
“No, what news!” I said with an edge to my voice because he was hiding something.
“Um well I um I got a chance to go to a very prestigious private school in New York. I applied last year and they picked me as one of their students. I leave in two weeks.”
I broke down. Sobbing. I didn’t say a word I just cried. Drake sat next to me holding me. We stayed like this for about 10 minutes. Then finally I congratulated him. I was really proud of him but I was depressed that I was going to lose my only close friend I have ever had. I knew now was not a good time to tell him how I felt. All I told him was what happened with Aunt Jill.
…..
It was one day before Drake left. We had spent practically every minute of the last two weeks together. All of our friends threw a big going away party for him on the last night he was here. This meant that I wouldn’t get much alone time with him. I thought to myself for the past few days that I need to tell him how I felt. It was now or never. During the middle of the party I pulled him aside and told him I need to talk to him. So we went outside where it was quieter and we talked.
“Hey what do you need to talk about?” said Drake kind of confused on the situation.
“I need to tell you something. Something big. I was meaning to tell you a while ago but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
“Yeah what is it?”
“I’m falling in love with you.” I said and my heart dropped and my eyes clenched together.
No response, just silence lingered in the air. I was too scared to open my eyes; my heart was pounding so hard I was surprised it didn’t fall out of my chest.
And then it happened. Right there in front of the old rusty SUV. He gently put his hands on my face and kissed me. No words. Just the softness of his lips touching mine. That’s when I knew that we felt the same way about each other. He was leaving in less than twenty-four hours but it didn’t even matter. We had the love that you only read about in books or see in movies. We would be together again and that’s all that mattered. Drake was in love with the freaky new girl.