Hello, there!
My name is Jessica Thomson. Since, I can remember I have always thought that I am witched. I´ve been open with you, I am not making a calumny, neither a defamation. Since, I was little I´ve been tantalized about the wonders of the world. I used to love the surprises, and the mysteries of life. In my childhood memories I was in an agape mode.
Life was hard growing up. I start growing and the world hit me. Life hit me hard, like if I were a small poppet. Suddenly, all my dreams started falling like cold drops of water into the hard ground. All my bright stars high in the sky started to turn off, and my hopes started to fall one by one and hit me in the face. I started to have qualms about myself. I was incredulous, and now I was scared about life. I started to see all the abundant pain in the world. I started to realize that the perfect world I saw was in the wreckage of my memories and that it was full of riot in my present world. It was not worthy to realize that how I had used to see the world had collapsed, and that maybe I was seeing a fake dream, that would never happen. I tried to blink it, but it did not worked. I tried to see naught, but it was hopeless. I was inert; I could not do anything about it. I was suspicious about the mysteries of life. I was not smart enough to figure it out. I was daft, depressed, frustrated and afraid. I felt like a small dog forgotten in the rain. I saw the world in a sarcastic way, where people came to the world with the purpose of being happy, and just found themselves left alone in the painful world. I was fourteen when I lost the innocence of the world and started to see all the lies behind those with happy smiles.

I had my first boyfriend about that year, I wanted to find happiness again. I wanted a reconciliation with life, I did not wanted to suffer. I still remember how everything started his name is Jonathan Kallius. He was from a small town that I can not remember. He was in all my classes, and I was very curious about him. He was so happy most of the time. It was once that I told him -¨Jonathan are you being phony, or is it true that you are happy with this world?¨ I still remember what he told me, because it marked me, he told me ¨Jessica Thomson, if we focus too much in the problems, they will become bigger, and we don’t solve anything. People also forget about watching the marvelous things that God made.¨ He continued to tell me ¨how many times have you thanked God for the shower you took this morning?, or how many times have you stopped and watch the different combination of colors a flower possess, or the bright sun next to the blue sky, all that God created for us.¨ I couldn’t even fight with him, I was inert, he was telling the truth.

I wanted to think like him. A few weeks later, we started to go on dates, and I liked to be around him. He showed me a different way of seeing life. I had fun with him around. With him, I felt lighter. We started to going to Christian church all Sundays and I was starting to find myself again. I started to feel the way I used to be, happy and full of energy, I wanted to discover the surprises of life. I was in the process of making peace with the world and finding myself again. In church I learned to have a strongbox in my heart where I needed to keep Jesus inside, love, hope, faith, patience, the Bible, and more. I did not felt anymore like an old poppet, not anymore, I felt more like the daughter of Jesus Christ. I regained my trust, my life and me.

We were going to celebrate eight years together, and a month later we were going to graduate from college! I could not believe it. I forgot telling you that we were in the same high school, and he wanted to be close to me so he declined many schools to be with me in college. He insisted and told me ¨Thomson, your college is so much better than all my college possibilities together. Look, your college offers me the woman I love and the career I like.¨ I used to tease him about how corny he was, but in reality I loved that about him, he wasn’t embarrassed about it, and I loved that instead of getting mad with me, because I was teasing him, he hugged me even tighter. I felt his love, and his protection. Then, I told him ¨I accept, I don’t want to looe you, I want you to come with me to college.¨ He was very happy about it.
I cannot believe it, it was just missing one month and we were going to graduate. I used to tell him ¨Jonathan you are my miracle, I see life with different eyes¨ and he answered in a sarcastic, funny voice, with a funny face ¨Who is corny now, Thomson¨ and later he would tell me ¨No, Jesus is the miracle, He is the only one that can change a person.¨

We were so, so happy together. Even my mom told me that he was ¨The One.¨ Anyways, he wanted to surprised me by going skiing. I knew he couldn’t ski but he tried. He never gave up. So, he took me skiing, he told me he was taking classes and all. He was confident in himself and took me to the tallest mountain, called The Darkest One.
Anyway, I told him that I did not want to do it, I wanted to drink a hot chocolate, but he wanted to do it. So we arrived at the tall mountain, and everything happened so, so fast. I just remember it was full of people. He was holding my hand very tight. Then someone pushed him accidentally. I tried to grab him. But, I could not do anything. I was not strong enough. It was hopeless. He lost control. Then I think I felt. Because, at that moment I could not remember anything. Oh wait, yes I felt something very heavy in my head, then naught, nothing, rien, nada.

Just a few moments later watching my mom, and my dad very mysterious and curious. I was like wait, what? a moment ago I was in the mountain and then now I am I a white bed. ¨What??,This is like the movies?¨ I was like please don’t tell me it is a hospital. My question was answered just a few moments after when the doctor entered. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t speak, I thought strange, very strange. But it was rare, I didn’t felted fear, I was strong, I was in God´s hands. I opened my big eyes to see if they could understand me, and that I wasn’t worried about me, I was worried about Jonathan. I think God illuminated my mom, because she saw me, and immediately told me Jonathan was ok! He is recovering, he broke one leg, one arm, but he was going to be ok. Their parents already saw him, and saw you, but they went for some breakfast.¨

I was relieved, and happy, and thankful to God that Jonathan, my Jonathan was ok. I started to feel a little weird and then I saw naught. I collapsed, I guess, because later on, I opened my eyes and I was connected to thousands of tubes. I was surprised by how life is very delicate, one moment you are ok, and the next one you are not. I felt again like a doll, but this time, I didn’t care, I have being enjoying my life. I wasn’t scared anymore. I remember what Jonathan once told me in high school, about stopping and watched the bright colors of the flowers and life. I think throughout this years, I have being doing that. I feel satisfy with myself. I didn’t care anymore. I only felt weaker, but physically only.

After a few days, my mom asked the doctor if I could see Jonathan. The doctor allowed Jonathan to come to my room, and I was very happy. When he entered he looked whiter, but still the same. I was relieved to see him. Then we hugged, and we talked all that day.

The doctor was making me take a lot of different tests, but I didn’t know why. Truth was, I didn’t want to know. Until, my mom came to my room more pale than usual, and my dad stayed beside her. He was pale too, something weird because he is brown. Then, the doctor entered. So, I asked, is everything ok?

The doctor explained to me that something in my body was not working the right way. That if the accident in the mountain had never happened they would never know it. He explained me that I had a weird illness, and that I would survive just like ten more years if they would not know about it. I was shocked. At first, I couldn’t believe it. Anyways, I had a strange illness, but I can survive with the treatment as a normal person. I wasn’t mad about God, I was thankful to Him that the accident happened, that he gave me a second chance, and that I can live.

Most of the time, we don’t thank God for all the things he made for us. Also, we are not canny enough to figure out all the plans He has for us, but we indeed need to deeply trust Him. Because, we are not going to understand His plans, but He is in charge of everything, he wants the best for us. He had already won to the world in the cross. We just need to trust Him. I thank Him, because he let me see the world with other eyes, full of His light, and His love.