-She- | Teen Ink

-She-

August 29, 2013
By jackchase PLATINUM, Highlands Ranch, Colorado
jackchase PLATINUM, Highlands Ranch, Colorado
27 articles 0 photos 1 comment

The door swung open and there he stood, in the pouring rain. All his mistakes, his fears, and his hopes were dumped on the 'Welcome' mat in between the two. He looked into those eyes, and took a deep breath.

Jason took a deep breath. He gripped his steering wheel and pressed down on the accelerator. The needle steadily rose to ninety and beyond. He turned his head to look at her, sitting in the seat next to him. She smiled. A girl who was beautiful, but didn't try. Who was graceful, but didn't notice. A girl who could go about her entire life noticing all the good in others before stopping to study her own. That was the type of smile she radiated. A smile that left her lips casually and illuminated the night surrounding the car. Jason smiled back, and just like that, she was gone. He reached out his hand to stroke her hair, but it was useless. No one was sitting beside him. He looked back at the road and eased off the pedal.

Jason pulled into an empty parking lot and let out his rage in the usual manner: screaming at the darkness, both around and inside him, while gripping the steering wheel until his fingers were numb. He felt a cold hand on his forearm. She would always ask to warm up her cold hands with his. He looked to his right, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but she was once again gone. A tear made its way down his cheek, and he turned off the car. Stepping out in the humid Louisiana air, Jason leaned back against the vehicle. He looked up at the clouds, grey with moonlight, and put his arm around her. Or, where she would be. They pointed out stars together, laughed without reason, and even shared a kiss. Jason once again lost the vision of her. This night was bad, he was envisioning her more than normal. He slammed his head against the car, and the tears found their full strength. They rushed down his face and splashed at his feet. He was losing his mind, and worst of all, he could see it slipping before his eyes.

Driving home, Jason saw the street post ahead. SERGEI DRIVE. He proceeded with his usual routine. Slowing to about twenty miles an hour, he turned his head and glimpsed down the fleeting street as he passed, speeding up after getting his fill. She was somewhere down there, sitting on the couch, maybe watching TV, or asleep already, He mentally slapped himself, she was clouding his thoughts more than usual.

The constant dilemma, as Jason was well aware of, is that he had this perfect vision of her in his mind. Flowing brown hair, soft eyes of the same light color, a small frame and a beautiful, natural face. He only remembered her fitting perfectly into his arms, not how they fought every other day. Jason constantly turned to me. He would pray in the car, lying in bed, or even at school. I think he thought of her most at school. He would ask the same thing every time: Should I keep fighting for her? Should I wait for her?

And my answer never came through clear to him. I won't tell you what I would always reply to him, but I will tell you what he thought I said, regardless of it's accuracy. He thought I told him to keep waiting and fighting for her, but he was never satisfied. He never once heard me clearly. He would ask again and again, thinking they weren't meant to be, then that they were soul mates. Now, I know some of you may be thinking he was just a troubled teen caught up over a girl, and that's what most people think. And maybe you all are right. But when someone affects another human being as much as this girl did to this boy, its not just some high school fling.

Jason lay awake in bed. That's where his worries found him. They attacked his mind viciously, and he thought of her more than once that night. That particular night he had come to the conclusion to just wait for her. Her stepfather couldn't control her life forever. Besides, she had said she would wait for him too, right? Jason stuck with that resolution for quite some time. Every time he would think of watching a move with her or laying next to her, he would just think: Later. And that was pretty good therapy if you ask me. He didn't loose hope, he had something to strive for. At the same time, he wasn't chasing a ghost or screaming at midnight in empty parking lots. For now, he was content.

Jason didn't know a lot of things. He didn't know how it would end with her, or if her stepfather was abusing her or the rest of the family. What entered his mind most, however, was how he would continue high school. A juvenille thought, most would think. But everyone has friends. At least, that's what is thought in high school, and Jason had no one. She was all he spent his time with. He did not know what would happen in the vast, confusing space they call high school; he did not know what happened in her stepfather's past to make him hate Jason with such a passion; but most of all, he did not know why he was smiling. You see, I've seen a lot of people in my life, but none quite like Jason. He looked at all of this, and put it in my hands. And if you've ever experienced something as hard as he did, then you know how hard that is. He left it all to me, for better or worse. It was at this point, it started to rain.

The door swung open and there he stood, in the pouring rain. All his mistakes, his fears, and his hopes were dumped on the 'Welcome' mat in between the two. He looked into those eyes, and took a deep breath. She stood before him and clutched her mouth with both hands.

'I believe in you. We may not be meant for each other, but I believe in you. When everything in my life is dark, you show me light. And if today is the last time I ever see you, I'd be happy. Because you show me that I don't need to be afraid. I don't need to be anxious or angry. I don't know if we are meant to be with each other, so I won't say I love you.'

She looked at him in shock.

'But I will say that I love all that you stand for, whether you know it or not. Thank you.' He stepped forward and hugged her tightly. Closing his eyes as to not see what the yelling from within the house was about, he felt the wetness from his clothes being absorbed by her. She placed her hands on his back and rested her head on his chest. They cried for all of eight seconds.

I can honestly tell you that as her stepfather chased him off the property with a baseball bat, Jason had a smile on his wet face. He got in his car and drove. He drove not home, but to a better place. He went to a place not many experience. You see, when everything around you has fallen and so have you, that's when love can truly reveal itself to you. No one can experience the strongest love without first knowing the most terrifying pain. When you feel this love, maybe you'll reach a place that not many do. And maybe, you'll see a young man there, with his arm around her. Or, where she would be. Not simply wishing she was there or sad that she wasn't. Jason had his arm around all that she stood for, And whether they are meant to be together or not, that is what brought him there.



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